ok.. Lets talk post delivery bladder issues.. Yup.. not a fun conversation and actually one of the things that mothers like to talk about least apparently.. They will gladly tell you how much giving birth hurts, how long it has been since they have seen their feet, how ever since having a child the smell of onions makes them vommit.. even about how little they sleep or the consistency of their 1 yr olds poo....
What they will not say is this... When you have a baby.. that child is not the only one who needs a diaper sometimes. Cold? Panty liners are a must. Allergies? You should def re-consider those khakiis. I cannot even tell you how many days out of my Mommy Lifetime that I have peed myself. Gross? YES.. But welcome to reality.
In a perfect world women give birth go back to their regular pant size and shoe size... (believe it or not your FEET of all things change from pregnancy) Their hair goes back to the way it has always been, and those pesky stretchmarks dissapear on their own. Reality is... you lie to yourself and say that it is ok because you would not have it any other way.. Or my personal favorite.. "I needed new boots anyways"
The kids and I are finally getting over a lovely bug that was passed to us so kindly by another child. We were out and about the other day, I wearing my ONLY pair of shorts, Ellie and JT wearing whatever seemed appropriate through my watery eyes at the moment. I have this left over cough that just does not want to go away, and is not helped by any of the cough medications that lactation has approved. (Apparently the price for feeding your child the healthiest thing for them is that when you are unhealthy you must SUFFER.. ironic huh?)
Anyways.. There I am in the middle of the store when the coughing hits and I feel it coming on strong.. I am about to choke to death...imagine the beautiful image of me pushing a double stroller red faced and bent over in the store hacking up a lung... When all of a sudden bladder control decides to fail me. I practically had pee running down my leg. Thank JESUS that nobody was around save for the wonderful security cameras which I am sure are monitored by either someone I know or a really hott guy; just my luck. So I reach in the kids diaper bag.. trying to play it off.. and grab a baby wipe and wipe it off.. run to the bathroom clean up and there I am.. standing under the hand dryer with the crotch of my pants when this old woman walks in...
She stares at me like I am a moron until you see the lightbulb go off above her head... She smiles politely and looks me dead in the face and hands me a coupon for Depends..,.
Well I have been collecting coupons but SERIOUSLY!?
Wow inspirational its true woman dont want to talk about it i think your very brave to. best of wishes
ReplyDeleteIt's things like these that make me either a) never want to have children or b) hire a great surrogate!
ReplyDeleteOmg, this is so true, i read this on the bus and thought i would pee myself laughing! I cant wait for the next post!
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