Time for a change

    Think back... Just for a moment... When you were a little kid there were times when you really wanted something. Like REALLLY wanted something, and you probably even expected to receive it. This can be something simple from a piece of candy when you were behaving at the store, a certain toy for your birthday, or even from Santa. And as we got older it switched to more important  things like highlights (was I the only one on this one) or that certain someone to like you back...or the pair of shoes that EVERYONE else had.
   Now remember the feeling that you got in the pit of your stomach when you didn't get it?
   Unfortunately that feeling still happens when you are an adult. Sucks huh? There will still be people who let you down, things you want that you just can't have, people you want and just can't have. There are going to be things you expect from others, whether they were promised to you...

    (She swore she wouldn't do that again.. or...  He promised next check we could go away for the weekend. or even...I really wanted to buy that car and then they sold it.)

or expected

                    I was next in line for that promotion, it should have gone to me because I have been here years longer... or...
                    I just assumed that you were going to give that back when you were done.
  
  Whatever the case may be, that feeling that creeps into us is the same feeling we had when we were a kid. The difference is that we feel now that we are older that the feeling of disappointment is irrational. We shouldn't get down about things like that.. it's just silly...
   The fact of the matter is that even though we are older we still have FEELINGS. We are HUMAN. We are vulnerable and proud. And a lot of us still live by the Golden Rule.
   Yes the same one from Kindergarten... everyone say it with me...Treat others the way you wish to be treated... or Do unto others as you wish to be done unto you. However you want to say it the principle is still the same. We treat our friends how we want our friends to treat us, we love our significant other the way we want to be loved, and sometimes they let us down.
   Does that make them terrible people? NO. Does that make us better than them??? NO. Does that mean that the relationship is not a mutual one? ... ? ... ?

Sometimes.

This is where Kindergarten failed us. ( I apologize to those of you reading this who are teachers or have been in the past.. You are doing a great job, keep it up, thanks for all you do because you have more patience than I do )........... Remember the song
                        " Make new friends
                           But keep the old
                           One is Silver 
                           And the other Gold." 
  Not to say this is wrong, sometimes when you make new friends the old ones are still great friends. Other times though it makes you realize what a friend is supposed to be. And sometimes that old friend is no longer someone you want to keep around. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friends who have done nothing wrong, we have just grown apart. I also have a good few who I realized are not people I want to be around anymore, not because my new friends are "better" but because my new friends give me something that I can not get from the old ones. And all of these have made me further appreciate the great friends I do have.
   One of my "new friends" said something to me about marriage that I believe to be true about friendship as well... She said something along the lines of "You're role as a wife is not about the things you do for your husband. Those things can be done by someone else. Someone else can clean the house, he can raise the kids... You're role is about what you do for him that if something were to happen to you, NOBODY else in the entire WORLD could give him. The behind the scenes love and support that only you were made to do."
   If a marriage is in essence the best friendship you have, then wouldn't the same be true for all of your friendships? My friendships are not about who I can get to do things for me, or who I can call when I need to vent. They are not about the favors that I do for them, nor about the favors they do for me. My relationship is different with each friend I have. I know who I can count on for what. I have a friend that if I ever needed money for an emergency that I could turn to. Not that I would want to ask, or even that she would have it to give, but she would do it anyways. I have another friend that I can talk to about things I can not talk to anyone else about, and honestly know that they will stay between us. I have a few friends that I can turn to when I need a good trip down memory lane. Another I can turn to when I need some help getting my head on straight, and another I can turn to when I need an excellent laugh. To all of these people I provide a different, but mutual service I guess you could say.
   
   In discovering this way of thinking I also had to admit that some of my friendships (and previous relationships) fell apart because I was not offering something they could not find elsewhere... OUCH.
   The thing about maturity and growing up is that you have to sometimes take the road less traveled by in order to be a better person. You just have to learn ( I say learn because as most of you know it is not easy, and it takes time to perfect, it sometimes comes with hurt feelings all around ) to say "this is not what's best for me, and I think we should go our separate ways" even when its not what we want to do.

   Why?

   Because as someone once told me... Growth can not be achieved without stepping out of your comfort zone. We must do things we don't want to do, and give up things we want to do in order to become the person we were meant to be. If you want more than what you have something has to change.
   well...
   I WANT MORE.