oh November!

   So, where have I been?? Very good question. I have been busying myself with so many different things this November that honestly even I had to think about that answer for a few. . And as with all good ponderings there is a FABULOUS story to tell you about what I have remembered about this crazy month.
   For starters, I have been partially couch ridden with some of the lovely woes that accompany pregnancy. If you have been pregnant, you need no further explanation, and if you have not, well... Google can be your best friend and your worst enemy. . it's really about luck of the draw. Also, I have been preparing my house for the holidays, like most of you.
   Thanksgiving this year, as most of you smart-phone-toting Americans would know, fell on November 22. This glorious day of way too many calories and yummy goodness happens to be another day of importance in my house. . my birthday. So what does this pregnant lady with 2 toddlers, 2 dogs, 1 cat, a sister and husband decide to do on such a day. . . Host 20 odd family members in her house. Ok, look. If you got through that last sentence you have already established that my sanity is not intact.. don't judge me.
   Most of November I spent either preparing or freaking out about not having prepared for this huge event. I did take a night of "me time" to attend opening weekend of Breaking Dawn with my friends Andrea and Sarah. What a night, a much needed night of laughing. To begin, walking to the car to meet Andrea (we are neighbors, it really is all green and such to ride share when we are going the same place) I nearly walk smack dab into a tree... in my front yard. Not as if I was unaware that tree was there... I complain about it all the time, and admittedly have walked into it before.We have nicknamed it the Octo-tree, since it reproduces all over our yard. Andrea of course being the awesome friend she is laughed hysterically at me. We drive across town to meet our friend Sarah whom we will be grabbing a bite to eat with in the 21+ lounge at the theatre. We did this for 2 reasons. . 1. they are not all impregnated and can drink yummy beverages before hand. 2. we got to skip the line of teenage girls and head instead to our reserved seats after the previews had already started.
   During dinner we joked a lot about life. . marriage, dating, my children (both of them are currently childless by choice, and adore JT and Ellie) and my crazy household, right up until it was time to get boxes. Sarah, unknowingly ordered an entire pizza. Andrea and I knew, we just chose not to tell her. . the pizza is really yummy and the movie was long. she might need a snack. Upon delivery of the boxes, Sarah slightly embarrasses herself in front of the waiter. . who happened to be cute, and overhear her remark about such fact as he was literally right behind her head taking something off the table. Seeing Sarah blush is fun. She turns into the same girl I knew in high school. . . just about 32 shades pinker. Fortunately this was not even the end of poor Sarah's uncomfortable encounters that night.
   About 10 minutes into the movie, a random drunk guy parks himself next to Sarah on what looks to be like a love seat with an armrest separating the 2 seats that is her reserved spot. We are unsure if he is supposed to be sitting there or not, but he leans in extremely close to her face and says " Baby, I will be back in a minute." More awkwardly.. he does not in fact proceed to go anywhere. He remains seated all up in her personal space for the next half an hour before finally scampering off somewhere. Andrea and I send Sarah the "what on EARTH" look, and drunk guy returns. He honestly felt that his alcohol stench and mere presence were not enough that he had to announce to her that he was back. . again in her personal space. Luckily about 2 minutes later he was curled up nearly in the fetal position facing away from her and knocked out cold for the rest of the movie.
  On our way out the door, we see drunk boy apologizing to what we figured was his actual girlfriend, not sure where she was during the movie, as she tries to sober him enough to get him down the flight of stairs. .
   After a fun night away from life, I returned to my crazy house. I am pretty sure my children are like hound dogs and have sniffed out my weakness this month and plotted against me. There have been attitudes and house wrecking flying left and right in my house. There was the Facebook pictures of the food dye incident. . Brand new box of food dye, and my children combined to paint a wall, tye-dye 2 dog cages and drip a clear path from the laundry room to the dining room wall. It's like follow the rainbow on my carpet. . Thank heavens we decided to get a steam cleaner with one of our housewarming presents. . Thanks Bob!!
   JT has decided to be an artist, with my house as his canvas. Never having drawn on anything but paper he decided in one week to pin his sister on the floor and draw all over her body; back, stomach, face, legs. . you name it. A day or so later he tackled 2 of my living room walls with a red marker, the next day he got my bedroom. This time with permanent fabric marker. after deciding that mommy and daddy needed a headboard, he decorated our comforter. SWEET. Next came the paint. Having most of my craft supplies in a corner desk and drawer unit in my bedroom, we generally keep the door locked for my sanity and their safety. For some reason we have been slacking in that department and I should have learned my lesson after the markers, but of course I didn't. After completing the dishes without interruption I set off to find my children and whatever they had discovered, thinking my door was locked and like usual I would be finding them standing on bins somewhere in their toy room. . that was until I saw my door wide open and heard giggling. . damn.
   A brand new large bottle of white acrylic paint is smeared on the side of my dresser, all over Ellie from head to toe, and she is eating a paint brush.Ellie still showing signs of food dye drips on her legs is becoming an awesome piece of work. JT immediately tries to hide between the dresser and wall, but cant fit, so just sticks his head in, in a moment of "if I can't see you, you can't see me: mentality. Luckily, and I better start knocking on wood and praying to Jesus. . they have not ruined anything.
    Ian decided the weekend before Thanksgiving to chop down 2 of the trees in the front yard, had I known that poor tree was going down I might have let it get me. the second of now missing trees was a beautiful smoke tree. Granted it was placed inconveniently, taking up any area of the yard that might be usable as it sat so low to the ground, and was planted smack dab in the center of the house blocking our view of the street, it was a beautiful tree. Sadly Ian did not share my feelings and was unaware that I would have a pregnant meltdown outside after it was laying on the ground.  His only response to his actions, and my unreasonable attachment to a tree was " we can plant more trees." He tries. . really he does.
   My mom was wonderful enough to come over 2 times in the week and half before Thanksgiving to help me clear my house of clutter and get some things in order. I being the "Oh I can handle this" followed by meltdown lady that I am, decided to completely swap 2 rooms of my house 2 days prior to Thanksgiving. Why you ask? Well it seemed logical at the time. My sister needed more space, but as there was just no place to put the things that were crowding her room, and the children never used their playroom because they don't like to be upstairs without me, I figured that it would make sense to swap them. This would not only force me to rid the toy room of some toys since the space is smaller, but would hopefully keep it clean more since I can check in on them and make sure they are not getting into trouble. It would also force the pile of goodwill items to actually go to goodwill and the attic pile to make it to its final destination. All while giving my sister an actual closet and room to stretch her legs, and eventually put a bed.
   Yeah I really did not anticipate it being that difficult. It seemed cut and dry. It wasn't. It was long and tiring and lots of up and down the stairs and I don't want to's. Finally though it was all coming together and Andrea came over to help out. She really is a fabulous friend. We went through some toys and got rid of an entire over-flowing bin of toys. We were even able to get the toy room in working order so that my nieces and nephews could play in there the next day. It's amazing. Now I just need to help my sister get settled in upstairs and we should be good to go.
   My house by the way looked pretty darn good for our get together. Ian finished cleaning the yard, there was very little "just shove that there and I will deal with it later", and I even had enough time to get a birthday breakfast and fire. Ian did a great job of making up for the last few years of crappy birthdays by making this one fabulous. He even made it fabulous through the remainder of the weekend. I received a few foot rubs, back rubs, hunny I can get it's, and he cleaned up the house for me. I got a Birthday Card this year, major improvement, and he agreed to family portraits without a fight. He even cleaned up the entire box of baking soda the children decided to grace the dog cage with. I have to admit, it crossed my mind that he is sucking up to get the sheep skin slippers he has been asking for every year.
   With November drawing to an end, and Christmas just around the corner I am sure there will be more craziness to follow. I did forget to mention a few things. My dear friend Katie had her baby. Cute as a button.  Since we share a birthday a few of our friends came together to celebrate with us and it was a lot of fun. My Dad paid for me to have my hair done as a birthday present, which Andrea babysat for, she discovered the joys of watching stupid cartoons with a 3 year old and has a new found distaste for Curious George. . She feels he is not in fact curious but just a jerk. Ellie and JT have learned some new phrases. . Ellie now says Bieber Fever, nom nom nom and follows up the name Channing Tatum with the sound. . mmm mmm. JT has discovered sarcasm. When I told him he had to sit in time out until Daddy came home ( he was just around the corner) he looked me straight in the eye, raised his voice an octave or two and said " WHAAAAT?!?!"
    He has also discovered logic and reasoning. Like his "I'll walk" comment after Daddy told him he could not run to me every time he did not like what he was told, he also made a clever conclusion when it came to getting in trouble. Ellie broke into 4 bottles of finger paint in the toy room. I blame Ian for not moving a bin out containing the paints and some nails and screws that I had asked him to get, he blames me for leaving it where the kids could get it in the first place.Touche. Either way it was a mess.  In the process of cleaning up JT comes into the room, inquisitive as always. After we explain that we are cleaning up the mess we ask if he had anything to do with it. Ian immediately assumed since he had a smear of purple on his arm, but I defend him by saying there is paint everywhere and it's not on his hands. He could have rubbed against something. He takes one look at his sister who is pouting in time out, and looks his daddy straight in the face with a smirk across his lips and shakes his head. . "NOPE"
    Ian informed him plausible deniablility will be out the door soon. . Ellie is getting really good at full sentences. Soon little guy she will be ratting you out. Enjoy it while you can.