I have a confession. . . I'm 27 years old and I don't know how to dress to go out.
There I said it.
Ok, I can pull together a few things, but mainly.. I dress like a mom, because I think like one. Buying clothes has a specific checklist. Whatever item I buy has to have one or more of the following going for it..
It does not show dirt well.. i.e. spit up, breastmilk, snot, eye boogers, finger prints.
It is easily breast accessible. I plan on having more babies and what is the point in buying something that I might potentially love but can never where since wherever I go there is a child on my hip who wants to nurse, and if I leave them home I will need to be able to nurse just before walking out the door and upon walking back in.
It needs to hide belly fat. Certain fabrics are just plain out when you have the dreaded "Mom pouch." So are certain styles. My dad warned me.. he told me to take care of my body before children.. of course I didn't listen.. I was a teenage girl with plans to rule the world what would my dad know about post baby bodies.. Apparently a lot. Way to go teenage Stacey, Yet again.. listen to dad.
It needs to be a flattering color. I am of solid German heritage, with just enough Indian to merk up the waters. Which means for whatever reason I don't tan brown, I tan golden. It's very pretty.. or at least it was before I cared about wrinkles and sun damage and went sunless tanner and high spf on it, but it also means that in certain lighting and colors I look yellow. It's enough that all of my children were born slightly yellow and doctors were confused when their jaundice checks were not higher. I can't wear off white.. I look sick.
It must have a machine wash and tumble dry tag. Do you have any idea what my children would do to me if I tried to drag them in a dry cleaner once a week? " What's that smell?" "what does this button do?" I cringe just thinking about it.
Once we narrow down all the items that I like that don't fit in the above list, I am stumped. I mean what's appropriate for a mom of three that's getting dangerously close to the 3 0 number without being frumpy? I feel like I am too old for the junior section, but too young for the "Ladies" section. Isn't there a store for people who are in their 20's still and don't want to look like a whore? If there is, I will move to your city and take up residence in there.. seriously.
I don't need the entirety of my breasts hanging out. I would love it if I could just find shorts that actually covered my vagina. Is that really too much to ask? Seriously I saw a lady my age the other day wearing a pair of shorts that had holes all in them and the pockets were hanging out of the bottom. on both sides. And my bet is that they cost more than my entire outfit... for 1/3 of the fabric.
Let me take a break to admit publicly that I have become "that" person.. The one I swore to my dad I would never become and stomped off in typical teenage overdramatic girl fashion screaming "THIS ISN'T FAIR" about. Daddy I hope you read this at some point because I will never again admit to this. The words will never leave my mouth.. only my fingertips.. You were right, I was wrong. I am a conservative dresser and I can't stand watching teen girls flaunt their junk.
I just want to dress appropriately for my age, which is not old and not young. It's not single and look at me because I can finally go out to a bar, It's hey I am married and have 3 kids and I just want a night where there are no little people looking up my skirt and playing with my stretch marks, and I can enjoy an entire drink without forgetting where I put it and eat my fries all by myself with as much salt and ketchup as I want without reserving some for the baby, all while not looking like the obvious mom that I feel like, because as much as I beg and plead for my husband to not make plans so that I can go out for the night, all I want to do at the end of the night is snuggle my baby and kiss my kids goodnight.
They should make a store for that.
Now I am off to pick up my friend and go shopping for something that closely resembles that... and maybe some shoes to match.
Awesome post! I'm 30 and its still hard to find anything not slutty or not frumpy. We need to hang out!
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic. Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteOK, I wrote it once & now it's gone so bear with me! hahaha
ReplyDeleteMost of your "rules" for the clothes you are describing are applied wrong. You are applying your "Mommy" mentality when buying "Stacey" clothes. If you are going out with only your husband, your shirt does not need to be breastfeed ready, it does not need to hide snot well, etc. You have to let those rules go when going out without them otherwise you'll be stuck feeling like you always look like "Mom" instead of Stacey. You need a separate wardrobe for date nights with the hubby or with the girls, just like you had play/school/dress clothes as a kid. You can't wear every piece in your closet for all occasions, you need to learn how to shop for where you're going in that piece/outfit. You'll learn how to put them together to make the outfit fit where you are going.
Now that may come out harsh, esp considering I don't have kids - much less three, but you have to buy for the occasion. If you need pieces that can work for both Mom & Stacey - I recommend some wrap tops or dresses. They're the ones that cross at your waist so it will hide belly fat & easily moved for breast feeding. Get ones in lighter base color but bold colored patterns so it's harder to notice any spit up/snot/etc. For shorts - make friends with a good tailor. I personally love the guy in the mall. He's not cheap, but he's damn worth it. I find that I can take some capris and have them hemmed into shorts in the length that I want. Same with jeans - if I can't find dark wash jean shorts that don't turn into booty shorts the moment I start walking - I bring in old jeans and have them made into shorts. I know they fit properly and no worries about length.
I personally LOVE anything with peplum. It's the style that has the little flair around the waist/hips. For me & my big booty, it makes my hips look a little wider so my bottom half looks smaller. By hitting at the waist & flaring out, it will hide any unwanted tummy bulge (I know this because I use this trick to hide any bulge while I'm in my leggings that are juuuust too small for me to be comfortable in another shirt). There are a lot of different options in the peplum style - whether it's a shirt, skirt, dress, etc. My favorite piece is a black & white peplum dress - I get so many compliments on it when I wear it.
As for shopping, I go these places for my fun & going out stuff: Charlotte Rousse, Papaya, the one that just opened next door to Papaya (I don't remember the name sorry!), and maybe some Areopostale for simple t-shirts/sweat pants (I've always loved their sweat pants).
For work or more classic pieces, I go to: Express, Anne Taylor Loft, White House/Black Market (for the love of God shop their sales, you will be shocked if you see the normal prices hahaha), Cache for that omg-wow-where-did-she-get-that-dress! dress (again, shop the sales), & Macy's (the section directly across from the juniors. The INC brand is usually what I stick to).
The important thing is for you to be comfortable in what you're wearing, but also wearing the right outfit for the right outing. When you find something you like ask yourself, is this for "Mom Stacey" or "Going Out Stacey" and build from there.
:) <3
not harsh at all. I am aware that non-moms suffer from some of the same problem areas as I do. I appreciate your suggestions. Not all of my clothes are nursing friendly, I do get less opportunity to wear those though. I try to Pin what I like and then look for similar items so that I know I am not sticking to the same thing every time. I find that I tend to go with plain items that I can just accessorize though. Sometimes that works, other times I get tired of them easily. I have started dragging friends along to make me try on things I wouldn't normally go for. It seems to be making a big difference.
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome! Step outside your comfort zone, but having a friend help you decide is always beneficial! I'll text my sister-in-law to show her something I'm thinking of getting just to get a 2nd opinion sometimes LOL I do find that I am drawn to stuff I have a lot too. I'll grab a shirt or dress and say "hey! I love this! Oh yea....that's because I have something like this already - do I need another?". And I do the same thing - I pin and then try to find that piece while out. I've also started shopping for specific pieces rather than random items - that has helped me immensely! Between not over spending because I just had to have everything(!!) & only buying what I really need. So when I head out I reaffirm that I am buying ______ this today. Bring it home to test with whatever piece I was going to wear it with & then decide if it stays.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up! You'll get there! I know I'm still getting over that hump too - don't want to dress like a teen, a skank, or fuddy duddy...