After delivering Ellie I decided I was going to try to get back in shape. This is a much harder task than it should be considering the following...
- I am one of those people who believe that there is no reason to run unless you are being chased by someone or something.
- I have 2 children, my life revolves around them, so finding time to work out is a lot easier said than done.
- I am a habit eater. For those of you who don't know what that is, it means that I eat not only out of boredom, but simply because it is there, and I snack simply because it is a certain time of day that I am used to eating.
- My weakness is chocolate, and carbs are like a demon with a damn convincing reason why I should come over to the dark side..
Now I have been making an effort to get to the gym, I have been attemting to use self control, and trying to eat healthier things when I just want to snack for the hell of it...I am doing all of this for me, not for anyone else. Honestly other than my husband I could not really care less what someone elses opinion of my weight is. But seriously?? I am a size 10, granted MUCH larger than I was in highschool, but I am not a big person. I do not think that I am disgusting when I look in the mirror or anything of the sort. I just know that I could afford to lose a little weight and be more toned. And doing all of this would make me feel more comfortable.
So why is it that the doctor is telling me I am "slightly obese"? Have they lost their friggin' minds?
No offense to those of you out there who are stick thin, all the more power to you! but... Why should I have to feel uncomfortable wearing a close fitted shirt because I actually have breasts and some meat on my bones? Or hear comments from people in the store walking by about my tight jeans.. I had a big butt when I was a size 1, did you really think it was going to go away when I put on some weight? There are millions of people out there who DO have weight problems and they have no shame in the world about wearing spandex and bikinis. I have not only 1, but several good reasons for my extra weight.. (their names are JT, Ellie, Ian and an effed up thyroid) and yet I am the one who is ashamed?
I have a theory that if everyone walked around completely naked that less people would get picked on for image. This way models would not be airbrushed to fool us all into thinking their bodies are perfect.. cause hunny they have stretchmarks from their babies too,OH and hello cellulite, glad to know you visit someone else sometimes too! So if models, the same people we are looking at to depict what we "should" look like have to be airbrushed, what do you think the lady standing in front of you in line looks like? It is a shame that we have to be so self concious about our bodies around the people we love simply for fear of someone realizing we are not perfect...
The people who are judging us have their own imperfections.. they scrutinize themselves in the mirror too. I love my children with all my heart, they are the best things I have ever done, and I am proud of them.. So while I work my inner thighs and flabby arms away at the gym until summer... I know that I am not blessed with a perfect body, I am blessed with imperfections as a reminder of my best work... and this summer.. I plan to wear my bright purple stretchmarks with pride. If you don't like it, look the other direction.
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