On Days Like Today

   I try not to use the vague statement "It's just been one of those days" Today, However, I am not sure that I can come up with anything better to say.

  Today, The construction across the street was especially loud. It, as I have mentioned, keeps the kids up from napping, as do the neighbors when they so considerately decide that noon is an excellent time of day to play their music at the loudest capable setting of their receiver. . . after sending their obnoxiously loud and disrespectful kids out to play on the playground since they kept them home from school.
  Today, Ellie is cutting 2 molars. She seems to be especially happy about them coming in. Since she can't talk yet (save a few words) she lets me know by teething on absolutely everything, and crying and refusing to eat well, or drink anything.
  Today, JT woke up in the mood to ignore everything I asked of him, also refusing to eat, hiding in the corner when he was supposed to be going to sit on the potty, and instead peeing all over my house. He also thought that since Ellie had FINALLY cried herself to sleep (for the first time in her life I might add.. and I am NOT exaggerating here) that he would go looking for me in her room since he had peed in his diaper and wanted it changed. At bed time he threw a fit and woke his sister up. A fit so bad that it warranted a spanking and going to bed without his usual movie time beforehand.
  Today, both of the children decided it might be fun to follow me around and dump every bin of toys I picked up, pull down every pile of clothes I folded, and even took all the hangers out of a pile of things that I had hung up and threw them all over the living room. Both of them being cranky also felt that I needed to hold them all day, not caring if I was already holding the other, and if I did not meet their every single need at the exact moment they chose- flung themselves in the floor screaming to the top of their lungs.
   Today, my children fought like cats and dogs, and my cat and dog fought just like my children. The dog never stopped barking, she barked when I set down the cleaner bottle on the counter. She barked every time I flushed the toilet, whenever she saw someone walking, driving, parking or standing outside.. Luckily for me I live in townhouses, so that never stops. My dog, Cookie, also enjoyed running off on me every time I let her out to use the bathroom.. my cat, Peaches, enjoyed throwing up every time I fed him.
   Today, my husband did not want to listen to me complain. . . . Honestly I don't blame him. I have been a hormonal lazy mess all week. I have cried for no reason, I have yelled at him, I have complained and I have not been productive. (before anyone asks I can say with 100% certainty that I am not pregnant)
 Today, I spent over 2 hours on the phone with someone who barely speaks the same language as me and was fairly new at their job. this is normally not that big of a deal to me, but on top of the whining kids and the barking dog and the pounding in my head, I found myself getting irritated and impatient. I found myself wanting to throw my phone.. I found myself wanting a cigarette.

 Today..... I missed someone who has been gone for a few years. Someone who would have known just what to say to make everything seem trivial. Someone who I loved very dearly even though she was not related to me by blood. A very special woman who was taken way too early and who I still find myself needing. Today was the first time I needed her and could not find her voice in my head.

 So today for lack of a better term was "one of those days"

            One of those days where the world does not make sense, where patience and togetherness are just beyond your reach. Where it's easier to curl up in bed, or on the couch and cry than to call someone, because you know that the only way to rid yourself of all the terrible feelings inside is to release them in tissues and memories and prayers.


   Now it's time to go attempt to put my daughter back to sleep, have a good long talk with God and pray like crazy that tomorrow is a bright sunny day filled with laughs and not tears. Filled with love and not frustration. Filled with Thankfulness for all of the wonderful gifts I have been given, and not resentment for the ones that have been taken away .....because I miss them everyday, but especially on days like today.