Ian and I have a pretty lax approach on parenting. Like most parents of toddlers we have yet to determine who gets to cover the inevitable talks of sex, puberty etc. Up until now we have just had an unspoken understanding that whoever the question was posed to would be the one to answer it. Even the tough ones. . and honestly I think toddlers sometimes have tougher questions than older children, simply because they do not have a full understanding of life and all it's workings. How do you explain to a 3 year old what "died" means? We have had the discussion before of how we would approach such situations, and we have decided that honesty is the best policy for us. Scientific terms and all, but we would explain what it is that we believe and why we want them to live the same way.
Our son knows he has a "penis" aka in our house as a "peepis" and We have explained to Ellie that she has a "vagina" which she of course can not really say yet so she calls it a "gina" for short. . Even though the children frequently see each other nude, with potty training and baths and getting dressed etc., they have never questioned the fact that when naked, they look quite different. Until this morning.
JT and Ellie both decided they needed to pee at the same time. JT in the hall bathroom and Ellie in mine. Afterwards, Ellie's diaper would not stay on, so I lay her in the floor and proceeded to put her diaper back on properly. JT ran in to tell me he went pee pee "faster". I agreed with him, but technically Ellie had clearly won. Why who can pee the quickest is even a conversation in my house I have no idea, but it's more common than you would think. Then he glanced down to see what I was doing.
The look of pure concern on his face was enough to make me stifle a giggle, but when the words came out of his mouth I could not hold it back. .
"Oh no! Mommy, Ellie's peepis is missing!!! Where did it go? We need to find it!"
In addition to these words, and his look of obvious concern for his sisters lost penis, his arms are waving and he begins to look under the covers and the chair in my room for it. After securing Ellie's diaper, and getting over my need to laugh I had to sit him on the bed and explain that he is a boy. "Boys have a penis. You are a boy, like Daddy. And Daddy and you have a penis. Ellie is a girl like Mommy. Baby Ellie and Mommy have what is called a vagina. It looks different than your penis, so Ellie is not missing her penis, she never had one."
Luckily for me that was enough. He asked no more questions, but showed a visible sense of relief that his sister was not indeed missing her penis.
The conversation ended quickly with a hug and an "I Love You Mommy" and off he went to play. Now that I know the conversations are looming around the corner I will be slightly more prepared for the next one. Still praying that Ian will be the one fielding anything much harder than that, but hopefully if he doesn't I will have a bit more composure. I would hate for JT to not want to talk to me because I laugh at him, but honestly what else could be done at this moment? I really need to work on my poker face.
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