Maybe it's because they are 2 and 3. Maybe it's because I am in my third trimester and they are aware that a baby is about to forever infringe on Mommy Territory. Maybe it's because Ian has been working late so often, leaving me with little alone time. It could possibly just be me. Whatever the reason, my kids are driving me nuts.
They are so stinkin' cute. They are sweet and they want to snuggle... and fight and scream and tell me no, and tear down every toy they own, and not eat whatever it is that I make them, and touch me NON STOP. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that aside, I also woke up with a notification from my pregnancy app informing me that I have approximately 10 weeks left before Porter makes his debut, and that my uterus is larger than a basketball at this point. As if I didn't already know that since I have not seen my feet in about 12 weeks, which is cool since they are swollen and achy and I can't reach them to paint my toes anyways. Not to mention those averages are geared towards first time mothers, and this is not my first rodeo, making mine what.. the size of the universe?
Don't get me wrong. I am much happier being a stay at home mom than I would be going to work, and I would never ever trade places with a working mom. Respect to those of you who do it, but it's not for me. Sometimes though it's the stay at home part that gets to you. You are all couped up in your house (which, with it being winter and not getting as much air through it, sometimes smells stale.. or terrible- something that stands out to you when you have the smelling capacity of a hound dog) and you can either do 2 things some days... Go crazy trying to keep it clean with animals and children running and screaming and knocking things over and shedding.. OR .. Sit and stare at the mess that you are going to have to waddle around to clean up. It's truly an attractive sight. The waddling I mean.
It's amazing how much space a 2 and a half pound baby inside of you can take up, and how much energy is needed to handle normal tasks, like putting on your own shoes, so I switched to my purple slippers. Don't care if they match, don't care that they are obviously hard soled slippers. They go on with little effort and my feet are going to swell while I walk anyways, so what's it matter.
Oh yeah.. Back to the kids I already birthed--- Seriously, what language do I have to speak for them to understand that I don't always want to be touched by sticky fingers and kissed with snotty noses . . Or, in Ellie's case, That the kitchen floor is not a proper place to drop a deuce. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It's like I am raising monkeys some days. I have no idea how they get into some of the things they reach. Without trying to sound paranoid, I some days legitimately think they wake up with a plan to break me down.
And then there's the dog. She has been so much better lately. (Notice the lack of Reha inspired blogs lately) She is starting to listen, and I don't have to lock her away every time I have company. Aside from some trash, and cat food cans the only thing she has even destroyed lately are some food bowls. . . I guess that deserves some clarification. She broke the middle out of her ceramic dog bowl. A full year and she decides it was time for a new one. Rather than running to the store to buy one we started using a metal mixing bowl, whose sole purpose before Reha's meal delivery was Ian's cereal bowl. This was decided after she shredded two separate tupperware containers. This idiot dog put a hole in it. How is this possible you ask? Great question, we would like to know the same. She has already chipped both of her K9's, we assume on the grate of the dog cage, but I am not positive on that. So with only two chipped teeth (and by chipped I mean half the tooth is missing) how did she manage it? Also, how did she demolish several unopened cans of cat food? Ate right through them and licked the food out, resulting in some awful smelling gas on her part I might add.
Today, of all days, the day that I have been fighting off panic that I have such little time to accomplish a mile and half long list of things I want done BEFORE Porter comes, Reha decides to escape out the back door while I am in the tub. Thankfully she is dumb and always goes to the same places, and all my neighbors know she belongs here. Two of my neighbors come to return her and I am forced to open the door in a bath towel. Fabulous.Then I discovered she ate the rest of my chili cheese dog before escaping. I sincerely hope it burns her hind end on the way out.
In an effort to show my day some sort of mercy, my sister (who spent the evening in the emergency room with some breathing difficulties and a terrible chest cold) took both of my children to the store to get her prescriptions filled. What do they do? Of course they both fall asleep, which means they will want to stay awake extra late tonight and I have already contemplated locking them in their rooms... and watching something with a half naked Channing Tatum. . what am I talking about Channing Tatum doesn't even own an entire outfit.. He relishes showing off his rock hard abs. . and tonight I shall enjoy every moment of it.
Rather than wallowing in my own stress I have decided to Thank God for a few things. . like chocolate, drive thru pharmacies, steam cleaners, Gold Canyon Candles (seriously amazing. A million times better than Yankee Candles, and I have a friend who sells them if you don't believe me), and being able to buy a second vehicle this week.
On that note, I am on my way to raid the freezer, and I hope everyone else had a better day than I.
No comments:
Post a Comment