The closer I get to delivering baby #3 the further I fall in love with #1 and #2. I didn't think it was possible for my heart to grow any larger for them than it already was, especially with all of my other organs currently misplaced and short on space. I was wrong.
Every day they grow more. They are using full sentences and talking clearly. Ellie is officially potty trained and I don't have to follow behind her every few minutes to make sure she is not peeing on the steps... or pooping in the kitchen... again. The faster they grow the more I realize that there are so many things that I have to teach them. They need to know a million things about the world, and with each day that passes they come closer and closer to experiencing life for themselves.
I both fear and anticipate the day that they get to go off and meet the world, the real world, with their own eyes and minds, but before they can do that there are some very important things they need to know.
1. Nothing you can do will ever make me love you less. You are going to make mistakes, you will hurt me and disappoint me, I will heal and I will always be your Mommy.
2. Be kind to others. This sounds cliche, but its not. It's important to be kind and loving. It's important not to hurt others, they will be hurt enough by the world, don't add to their pain, take away from it.
3. Never be a bully. Never point out someones flaws and use it to hurt them. You too are flawed. You are not any better than them, and God does not want you to judge anyone. That is for Him and Him alone. You should stand up for anyone being picked on, even if it places you in the line of fire.
4. You are Beautiful just the way God made you and I grew you. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body, and accentuating your beauty, but nothing about you needs to be removed or enlarged. Do not hide your individual beauty from the world. (unless it is in an inappropriate place, in which case you should save that for your spouse.)
5. Your father and I are not naive. We too have done things that we are not proud of, things we knew were wrong and things we thought we got away with and didn't. That does not mean that we will be the types of parents to let you get away with whatever. You will have rules, and we will have standards. If you fail to abide by them there will be consequences.
6. Use your manners. Please, Thankyou, Bless You, Excuse Me, Sorry, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir etc. These are not only polite, but contagious. In a world of rude and disrespectful people it will not only make you stand out as a good person, but using your manners will distinguish you from people with little character.
7. Be an honest person. Nobody likes to be lied to, and if you lie to others, you open the door to be lied to. Be honest and never allow someone to believe something that you know not to be true. Lying by omission is lying.
8. It does not matter what others are doing, it matters that you do what you feel is the right thing to do. You will feel pressure to do and say things that you know are wrong, things that you know we would not approve of. Doing these things anyways will only result in you feeling badly about yourself and will not lead down any path that you will want to take.
9. Have a positive self image. Having struggled for years I speak from experience when I say that not only does self hatred lead you to make poor decisions, but it changes who you are on the inside. It makes you less attractive to others, it leaves behind negativity and negativity duplicates itself without your permission. You should never allow something like that to take hold in your heart.
10. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Your feelings and opinions matter. Don't ever let someone tell you that they don't.
11. Cleaning up after yourself may be annoying and unpleasant, but cleaning up after someone else is even worse. Learn to take care of that at an early age so it becomes habit, trying to teach yourself later in life is really hard.
12. Take care of the things that you have. It does not matter if it was cheap or expensive, given to you or you paid for it. Take pride in having nice things, and caring for the things you have. If you don't you will end up with nothing.
13. Spend time with your family whenever you get the chance. They are important, and they may not always be here. Cherish the time you have with them. Make memories together and never blow them off for no reason. Sleep can wait, your friends can wait, television is not that important.
14. Technology is wonderful, but it does not replace quality time. You still need to make eye contact, have in person conversations, and pay attention. Turn the TV off, put the cell phone away and turn off the games. They will wait.
15. Respect your elders. You don't really need a reason, just do it.
16. Don't rush to grow up. You are not going to miss out on anything by staying a child a little longer, but you will miss out if you decide you don't want to be one anymore. I know how hard it is to wait for things, but trust me, anything worth having is worth waiting for.
17. Take the nap. One day you will wish you had, like me. But instead you will be awake with your 3 year old who refuses to take one wondering why you ever wanted to skip nap time when you were his age. You are keeping me from napping... just take the nap!
18. It's ok to get messy. As long as you are not wearing your nice clothes and we are not on the way out the door. Play outside, touch dirt, get paint in your hair and play in the rain. I am not telling you to eat other peoples gum off the ground or anything, but don't be afraid of a little dirt.
19. Be gentle to animals. They can not tell you what they have been through. They deserve love and respect just like humans. Never torture or intentionally hurt an animal. It is not funny, it is cruel. They have memories and pain just like we do.
20. Always keep your word. If you make a promise you stand by it. If for some reason you can't you make sure that there is a good reason, and that you are honest and forthcoming about it.
21. Try your best, but it is ok to fail. You are not always going to be the winner. You will not always be the best. Sometimes you may come dead last, but as long as you put forth every effort you could, it was good enough. Try again. There is no shame in taking more than one shot at something. The only shame to be had is in giving up. That is when you become a failure.
22. Try new things. Do things you don't want to. You will be surprised to find there are things you really like that you never would have thought you would. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. It will grow you as a person and make you more relateable and approachable.
23. Laugh often. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others. Laugh at life's little moments. Nobody likes someone who is always serious, and laughing is good for your soul.
24. It is ok to cry. The world is an emotional place. Do not be ashamed to show your emotions to others, but do not allow them to rule you either. Find a happy medium, and remember logic when making decisions.
25. Love whole heartedly. It's important to give your heart away, but that does not mean that everyone you give it to will be gentle with it, or worthy of it. Don't allow fear of being hurt stop you from loving life and loving others.
26. It is important to share. Share what you have with those who have less. Share with your friends, Share the word of God, share your possessions and share your joy.
27. Life will hurt you. When it does I will be here. I may not be happy about your decisions, I may not agree with you. I will not tell you what you want to hear in order to spare your feelings, but I will Always Always Always hold out my arms to you and hold you until it stops hurting.
28. You will always be my little babies. JT, you are my first born, to me you will always be my handsome. When you are a man I will still look in your eyes and see the day that my world changed. The day that I stopped being Stacey and became Mommy. To me your eyes will always belong to a 6lb 15 oz blonde haired, blue eyed baby boy. Ellie, I am sure that you will test my patience more as an adult than you do as a toddler, but there will never be a day that you will not be my little girl. I will want to protect you and smother you with love and advice until the day I die. I will do my best to keep your Daddy from running off every boyfriend you ever have, but I make no promises. Dont hold either of these against me. It is how I am designed and one day you will understand.
29. One day you will be grown and getting married. When that day comes I hope you remember that relationships are not easy. They take a lot more work than you are expecting and there will be days when you want to give up. A marriage is a commitment that you make, and if you are both willing than no matter how hard things get you can make it. No love is perfect. No person is perfect. Your father and I have had our good share of rough days and we have only been together for 7 years. I can only imagine that there will be more in the years before you read this. If you give yourself a way out, its always an option. Human nature is to take the easy road.
30. You will never understand why I say the things I say, and do the things I do until you become a parent. Your whole world changes in the blink of an eye and suddenly you will realize that so many things make sense. Your hearts will grow and your views will change. I expect us to fight and disagree, just as I did with your grandpa.
31. Never forget that I am proud of you. I was proud of your first steps and your first laughs. Proud of you as you learn and proud of you as you grow. You will never have to do something monumental in order to impress me. The only thing I want from you is for you to be a good person and to be happy. That alone will make me proud.
32. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. They would be lying. You can do whatever you want to do. You can be whatever it is that you wish. I hope that those things are good things, but be prepared that doing good takes more effort than the bad.
33. Be curious about the world. Ask questions, and don't allow others to keep knowledge away from you. If something feels wrong, it usually is. Know what you are getting into, because ignorance is not always bliss.
34. Do not allow money to buy your happiness or your loyalty.
35. You are in control of your actions, your emotions and your life. Only you can make decisions for yourself. Chose to be happy. Chose to be kind. Chose to be good. Chose to be trustworthy and friendly, to be outgoing and exploratory, to be faithful and serving, to be a survivor and never a victim, to be a positive person and to believe in yourself and others. Chose to LIVE and not let life pass you by worrying about what others think say and do.
I know there will be more that I need to say. More that I need to teach. I hope to do so in a manner so that they will remember. So that they will listen. I wish I had, rather than being so stubborn. There is nothing in my past that I regret. I am happy with who I am today and I know that all of my past experiences have shaped and molded me. I do however hope to spare my children from some of the messes that I had to clean up, and the awful feeling it is to know that you are the reason for someone else's pain. In time they will know all of these things, and more, but for now I can relax knowing that I still have time where they really are just my babies. That I can rock them, hold them, kiss away the boo-boos and distract them when I need to. I just wish time moved as slowly watching them as it did when I was in gym class in high school.
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