It's been a fabulous week. Honestly. I have been under a lot of stress lately, with court looming over my head and a 3 hour glucose test to take, my thyroid is off and we had some things to straighten out with health insurance to insure that my pregnancy and delivery were going to be covered. Lots of money threatening to be owed and very little I could do except submit paperwork . . and wait. . . and have blood work done, which if you know anything about me means tears.
Insurance is taken care of and the glucose test is tomorrow... (insert groaning and shuttering here). Court though was my most feared and dreaded part of all this stress. To simplify- VCU was suing me for a semester of classes that I did not attend. I attempted to withdraw from the classes and somewhere along the line paperwork was not filed properly. VCU states that it was my responsibility, I argued that I did my part. Unfortunately the e-mails needed to prove that were deleted from their system and unrecoverable, so I had to do my best to provide enough evidence for a judge to agree with me. It was tough, and I cried alot, and I yelled at my husband a few times. The whole process started almost a year ago. In September I won the original case, Commonwealth of Virginia decided to appeal and drag me through months of more paperwork, emails, calls and drives to Richmond, but the date was today. After several months of panic attacks and lost sleep I have won.
After all was said and done a grand total of almost $14,000 was at stake. I was so relieved to simply have this trial over, having shook the entire time and felt like I was going to hurl all over the witnesses, that I was crying before it registered to me that I had actually won. I shook hands with the attorney and walked out of the room with tears streaming down my face. I have learned a very valuable lesson though. Never ever ever trust that something is taken care of by word of someone without keeping proof when your butt and salary are on the line.
So far this week we have received some good news on the part of my little sister, who as most of you know was recently paralyzed from the waist down during a surgery on her back. She has made a few minor improvements, and at this point any and all improvements are considered a huge step and a great sign that one day she may recover from this. I know so many of you have been keeping her in your prayers and I am tremendously grateful to each of you for your support. I believe that she will carry on with her life, and that this speed bump will not stop her from whatever she puts her stubborn mind to.
While driving north on Wednesday (the day I had Ian take off work because I THOUGHT that was the day of court, luckily he caught my error at 11 pm Tuesday) the rear wheel bearing blew on Ian. Just over $500 later we can pick the car up tomorrow. They had to replace the whole spindle and he was very lucky to not have wrecked our car as it jerked him across the lane on 95. I am thankful that he is safe, and also that he was the driver that day and not me. Being a service technician his field requires that he drive a lot. Driving all over VA and MD daily he was able to handle the car and pull into a shop. He did still receive great news that day, but that is news I will let him share.
Overall, despite a few small rearrangements in plans, I am a much less stressed person this evening. With any grace I will be receiving good news on the Glucose test and since I already received confirmation on the insurance that we are good to go I can finally stop stressing about so many other things and get ready to have this baby. Maybe now I can stop dreaming (or having nightmares) about court and blood work and diabetic menus and instead dream about more fun things, like vacations, and what Porter will look like and yummy food. mmmmm I should Pinterest some goodies.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
One of those days.
Maybe it's because they are 2 and 3. Maybe it's because I am in my third trimester and they are aware that a baby is about to forever infringe on Mommy Territory. Maybe it's because Ian has been working late so often, leaving me with little alone time. It could possibly just be me. Whatever the reason, my kids are driving me nuts.
They are so stinkin' cute. They are sweet and they want to snuggle... and fight and scream and tell me no, and tear down every toy they own, and not eat whatever it is that I make them, and touch me NON STOP. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that aside, I also woke up with a notification from my pregnancy app informing me that I have approximately 10 weeks left before Porter makes his debut, and that my uterus is larger than a basketball at this point. As if I didn't already know that since I have not seen my feet in about 12 weeks, which is cool since they are swollen and achy and I can't reach them to paint my toes anyways. Not to mention those averages are geared towards first time mothers, and this is not my first rodeo, making mine what.. the size of the universe?
Don't get me wrong. I am much happier being a stay at home mom than I would be going to work, and I would never ever trade places with a working mom. Respect to those of you who do it, but it's not for me. Sometimes though it's the stay at home part that gets to you. You are all couped up in your house (which, with it being winter and not getting as much air through it, sometimes smells stale.. or terrible- something that stands out to you when you have the smelling capacity of a hound dog) and you can either do 2 things some days... Go crazy trying to keep it clean with animals and children running and screaming and knocking things over and shedding.. OR .. Sit and stare at the mess that you are going to have to waddle around to clean up. It's truly an attractive sight. The waddling I mean.
It's amazing how much space a 2 and a half pound baby inside of you can take up, and how much energy is needed to handle normal tasks, like putting on your own shoes, so I switched to my purple slippers. Don't care if they match, don't care that they are obviously hard soled slippers. They go on with little effort and my feet are going to swell while I walk anyways, so what's it matter.
Oh yeah.. Back to the kids I already birthed--- Seriously, what language do I have to speak for them to understand that I don't always want to be touched by sticky fingers and kissed with snotty noses . . Or, in Ellie's case, That the kitchen floor is not a proper place to drop a deuce. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It's like I am raising monkeys some days. I have no idea how they get into some of the things they reach. Without trying to sound paranoid, I some days legitimately think they wake up with a plan to break me down.
And then there's the dog. She has been so much better lately. (Notice the lack of Reha inspired blogs lately) She is starting to listen, and I don't have to lock her away every time I have company. Aside from some trash, and cat food cans the only thing she has even destroyed lately are some food bowls. . . I guess that deserves some clarification. She broke the middle out of her ceramic dog bowl. A full year and she decides it was time for a new one. Rather than running to the store to buy one we started using a metal mixing bowl, whose sole purpose before Reha's meal delivery was Ian's cereal bowl. This was decided after she shredded two separate tupperware containers. This idiot dog put a hole in it. How is this possible you ask? Great question, we would like to know the same. She has already chipped both of her K9's, we assume on the grate of the dog cage, but I am not positive on that. So with only two chipped teeth (and by chipped I mean half the tooth is missing) how did she manage it? Also, how did she demolish several unopened cans of cat food? Ate right through them and licked the food out, resulting in some awful smelling gas on her part I might add.
Today, of all days, the day that I have been fighting off panic that I have such little time to accomplish a mile and half long list of things I want done BEFORE Porter comes, Reha decides to escape out the back door while I am in the tub. Thankfully she is dumb and always goes to the same places, and all my neighbors know she belongs here. Two of my neighbors come to return her and I am forced to open the door in a bath towel. Fabulous.Then I discovered she ate the rest of my chili cheese dog before escaping. I sincerely hope it burns her hind end on the way out.
In an effort to show my day some sort of mercy, my sister (who spent the evening in the emergency room with some breathing difficulties and a terrible chest cold) took both of my children to the store to get her prescriptions filled. What do they do? Of course they both fall asleep, which means they will want to stay awake extra late tonight and I have already contemplated locking them in their rooms... and watching something with a half naked Channing Tatum. . what am I talking about Channing Tatum doesn't even own an entire outfit.. He relishes showing off his rock hard abs. . and tonight I shall enjoy every moment of it.
Rather than wallowing in my own stress I have decided to Thank God for a few things. . like chocolate, drive thru pharmacies, steam cleaners, Gold Canyon Candles (seriously amazing. A million times better than Yankee Candles, and I have a friend who sells them if you don't believe me), and being able to buy a second vehicle this week.
On that note, I am on my way to raid the freezer, and I hope everyone else had a better day than I.
They are so stinkin' cute. They are sweet and they want to snuggle... and fight and scream and tell me no, and tear down every toy they own, and not eat whatever it is that I make them, and touch me NON STOP. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that aside, I also woke up with a notification from my pregnancy app informing me that I have approximately 10 weeks left before Porter makes his debut, and that my uterus is larger than a basketball at this point. As if I didn't already know that since I have not seen my feet in about 12 weeks, which is cool since they are swollen and achy and I can't reach them to paint my toes anyways. Not to mention those averages are geared towards first time mothers, and this is not my first rodeo, making mine what.. the size of the universe?
Don't get me wrong. I am much happier being a stay at home mom than I would be going to work, and I would never ever trade places with a working mom. Respect to those of you who do it, but it's not for me. Sometimes though it's the stay at home part that gets to you. You are all couped up in your house (which, with it being winter and not getting as much air through it, sometimes smells stale.. or terrible- something that stands out to you when you have the smelling capacity of a hound dog) and you can either do 2 things some days... Go crazy trying to keep it clean with animals and children running and screaming and knocking things over and shedding.. OR .. Sit and stare at the mess that you are going to have to waddle around to clean up. It's truly an attractive sight. The waddling I mean.
It's amazing how much space a 2 and a half pound baby inside of you can take up, and how much energy is needed to handle normal tasks, like putting on your own shoes, so I switched to my purple slippers. Don't care if they match, don't care that they are obviously hard soled slippers. They go on with little effort and my feet are going to swell while I walk anyways, so what's it matter.
Oh yeah.. Back to the kids I already birthed--- Seriously, what language do I have to speak for them to understand that I don't always want to be touched by sticky fingers and kissed with snotty noses . . Or, in Ellie's case, That the kitchen floor is not a proper place to drop a deuce. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It's like I am raising monkeys some days. I have no idea how they get into some of the things they reach. Without trying to sound paranoid, I some days legitimately think they wake up with a plan to break me down.
And then there's the dog. She has been so much better lately. (Notice the lack of Reha inspired blogs lately) She is starting to listen, and I don't have to lock her away every time I have company. Aside from some trash, and cat food cans the only thing she has even destroyed lately are some food bowls. . . I guess that deserves some clarification. She broke the middle out of her ceramic dog bowl. A full year and she decides it was time for a new one. Rather than running to the store to buy one we started using a metal mixing bowl, whose sole purpose before Reha's meal delivery was Ian's cereal bowl. This was decided after she shredded two separate tupperware containers. This idiot dog put a hole in it. How is this possible you ask? Great question, we would like to know the same. She has already chipped both of her K9's, we assume on the grate of the dog cage, but I am not positive on that. So with only two chipped teeth (and by chipped I mean half the tooth is missing) how did she manage it? Also, how did she demolish several unopened cans of cat food? Ate right through them and licked the food out, resulting in some awful smelling gas on her part I might add.
Today, of all days, the day that I have been fighting off panic that I have such little time to accomplish a mile and half long list of things I want done BEFORE Porter comes, Reha decides to escape out the back door while I am in the tub. Thankfully she is dumb and always goes to the same places, and all my neighbors know she belongs here. Two of my neighbors come to return her and I am forced to open the door in a bath towel. Fabulous.Then I discovered she ate the rest of my chili cheese dog before escaping. I sincerely hope it burns her hind end on the way out.
In an effort to show my day some sort of mercy, my sister (who spent the evening in the emergency room with some breathing difficulties and a terrible chest cold) took both of my children to the store to get her prescriptions filled. What do they do? Of course they both fall asleep, which means they will want to stay awake extra late tonight and I have already contemplated locking them in their rooms... and watching something with a half naked Channing Tatum. . what am I talking about Channing Tatum doesn't even own an entire outfit.. He relishes showing off his rock hard abs. . and tonight I shall enjoy every moment of it.
Rather than wallowing in my own stress I have decided to Thank God for a few things. . like chocolate, drive thru pharmacies, steam cleaners, Gold Canyon Candles (seriously amazing. A million times better than Yankee Candles, and I have a friend who sells them if you don't believe me), and being able to buy a second vehicle this week.
On that note, I am on my way to raid the freezer, and I hope everyone else had a better day than I.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
lazy days
I admit it, there are days where nothing but Netflix marathons are accomplished in my house. Some mixture of Dora, Diego and a few other shows like Pingu (a Swedish cartoon with no talking about some penguins that live in igloos), Power Rangers, this stupid crayon show, Curious George, occasionally Godzilla or Bananas in Pyjamas, Martha Speaks, some Woody Woodpecker and Oscar's Oasis (another cartoon without talking but its about a lizard in the dessert and JT thinks it is HILARIOUS).
Of course if Ellie had her say so we would never do anything but watch Dora and Diego,, fortunately for my sanity JT overrides and he is the one who knows how to work the xbox controller so he generally wins. While television may be rotting their brains at some points they have also learned a variety of useful and entertaining information from a few of the shows. They love to watch Team Umi Zoomi which is not on Netflix, as well as a few other educational shows.
In the past week I have encountered a wide variety of their knowledge in action. For instance:
Ellie told me that she needed to get out of the car because a Puma was going to get her. Mainly she just wanted out of her carseat, as she has a severe aversion to it after spending a whole weekend driving here and there . Later in the same day she looked me in the face and said "Mommy, you carry me? I can't step on the bal-canos (Volcanoes)." JT then chimes in and says.. "yeah, cause they go HUH-BOOOM"
A few days later Ellie told Ian in the morning to close our bedroom door because the dinosaurs were coming. I mean honestly child, can you at least chose realistic animals???
JT demonstrates his knowledge in a slightly different manner. . Generally by riding around on his dino head on a stick with his cowboy hat on screaming to the top of his lungs "I a cowboy, YEEHAW, Giddie up horsie" or "mommy I a superhero, I has powers." followed by pressing some imaginary picture on his shirt and running through the house or jumping around kicking. Today however he taught me something new..
Ellie, the lovely child she is, dumped half a bag of Goldfish on my floor. . thankfully I had just used my new Dyson and I was not willing to waste a pound of yummy Goldfish. As I am yelling at Ellie to clean them up JT backs up to the doorway and runs full force and jumps into the pile on the floor screaming "CANNON BALL!!!"
Now how do you expect me to keep a straight face after that?? Naturally my neighbor Andrea, who is a self proclaimed Goldfish addict, and has no children yet, has a little bit less self control and is literally bent over in the doorway laughing so hard that I can't even hear her. So JT sees this as an invitation to repeat. I need to vacuum again.
Ellie has also learned a bit of Spanish, extended her vocabulary and I heard her count to 10 yesterday. JT has learned some more words, lots of animals and shapes, and somewhere he picked up how to work the laptop. Together they have learned a few songs, like this one.. Which Ellie sings in the car non stop.
They really are great kids, and if my Daddy taught me anything in life it was that you have children for 2 reasons: Slave Labor, and your own personal amusement. Trust me my children are both.
Of course if Ellie had her say so we would never do anything but watch Dora and Diego,, fortunately for my sanity JT overrides and he is the one who knows how to work the xbox controller so he generally wins. While television may be rotting their brains at some points they have also learned a variety of useful and entertaining information from a few of the shows. They love to watch Team Umi Zoomi which is not on Netflix, as well as a few other educational shows.
In the past week I have encountered a wide variety of their knowledge in action. For instance:
Ellie told me that she needed to get out of the car because a Puma was going to get her. Mainly she just wanted out of her carseat, as she has a severe aversion to it after spending a whole weekend driving here and there . Later in the same day she looked me in the face and said "Mommy, you carry me? I can't step on the bal-canos (Volcanoes)." JT then chimes in and says.. "yeah, cause they go HUH-BOOOM"
A few days later Ellie told Ian in the morning to close our bedroom door because the dinosaurs were coming. I mean honestly child, can you at least chose realistic animals???
JT demonstrates his knowledge in a slightly different manner. . Generally by riding around on his dino head on a stick with his cowboy hat on screaming to the top of his lungs "I a cowboy, YEEHAW, Giddie up horsie" or "mommy I a superhero, I has powers." followed by pressing some imaginary picture on his shirt and running through the house or jumping around kicking. Today however he taught me something new..
Ellie, the lovely child she is, dumped half a bag of Goldfish on my floor. . thankfully I had just used my new Dyson and I was not willing to waste a pound of yummy Goldfish. As I am yelling at Ellie to clean them up JT backs up to the doorway and runs full force and jumps into the pile on the floor screaming "CANNON BALL!!!"
Now how do you expect me to keep a straight face after that?? Naturally my neighbor Andrea, who is a self proclaimed Goldfish addict, and has no children yet, has a little bit less self control and is literally bent over in the doorway laughing so hard that I can't even hear her. So JT sees this as an invitation to repeat. I need to vacuum again.
Ellie has also learned a bit of Spanish, extended her vocabulary and I heard her count to 10 yesterday. JT has learned some more words, lots of animals and shapes, and somewhere he picked up how to work the laptop. Together they have learned a few songs, like this one.. Which Ellie sings in the car non stop.
They really are great kids, and if my Daddy taught me anything in life it was that you have children for 2 reasons: Slave Labor, and your own personal amusement. Trust me my children are both.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Welcome to life; A pamphlet of disillusionment.
I know I have said this before, but I really wish that there was a class in high school that taught you what adulthood was really like. If I had to study and pass a class that shared life's realities with me I think I would be a much better rounded person. Of course it would be like a 16 year old being talked to about speeding tickets.. we would have assumed that none of these things would ever happen to us... Not that I would know about getting a speeding ticket, (currently knocking on wood as I type one handed) I have only been pulled over once and it was for an out headlight. . Ian on the other hand.. speeder.
I have decided that one day I will volunteer at a local school to teach this class. It will be called "Welcome to Life, Where Your Opinions and Feelings Only Count If You Pay Your Bills On Time"
and here is the midterm:
1. Bill Collectors will call you :
a. Monday through Friday
b. Anytime day or night regardless of what time you went to bed, or if your child was up until 4 am vomiting.
c. Never, if you pay your bills before the due date.
d. You mean if I forget to turn something in people will hassle me for it rather than just let me slide?
2. Children will throw a fit:
a. When you are home.
b. Out in public in a busy store when you are running late, have to pee and realize that even though you thought you were finished shopping you forget both of the items you actually came to the store for, which are conveniently located in the back, and there is only 1 register open.
c. In the middle of a parking lot
d. As soon as your infant falls asleep for a much needed nap time when you have a bazillion things to do.
3. You will fight with your spouse/ significant other:
a. Immediately before a birthday party, family function or important gathering.
b. On a holiday
c. when you are way too tired to deal with this.
d.never, we will always talk patiently and work things out before going to bed. I won't even bother letting you chose this because you are delusional and it's a LIE.
4. Your bank account will overdraft at some point because :
a. Your spouse will conveniently forget they spent $50 on something you think is stupid.
b. You did not realize that a bill had not actually cleared your account and went out to dinner thinking you had the funds.
c. Gas stations don't post for several days when you fill up.
d. You thought that bill that comes out automatically was scheduled for the 15th, not the 10th.
e. you have no idea, but now you owe $275 in overdraft fees, because a $1.29 drink just cost you an additional $35, better have been the best damn Pepsi you ever had!
5. You will catch the worst cold of your life:
a. Conveniently on a weekend
b. When you have no vacation days left for the year
c. When you have something important to do at work
d. When your spouse is out of town, leaving you with the kids and family coming into town next week.
e. When both of the kids have been vomiting and the baby is teething, allowing you absolutely no down time.
f. When the doctor can't fit you in for another week.
g. When there is nothing for colds or pain relief in the house and the kids are finally asleep and the store is closed.
6. Tax season:
a. Will be exciting because you can finally pay off those credit cards and past due bills.
b. Will be dreaded because it will be gone 3 days later when all the above clear your account.
c. Will be stressful, since as soon as you finish and submit them you get another letter in the mail marked "Important Tax Document"
d. Will suck since you end up owing this year.
7. Your friends will:
a. Always be your friends and be there when you need them
b. Let you down without meaning to
c. Forget you exist once you have children
d. Start a bunch of drama that you thought was over in the 10th grade, but apparently even though you own a house we are all still 12
e. What friends? I haven't left the house without being covered in snot, breast milk or dog hair in 3 years.
f. Move far far away.
**** Next Semester we will cover the following:
I have decided that one day I will volunteer at a local school to teach this class. It will be called "Welcome to Life, Where Your Opinions and Feelings Only Count If You Pay Your Bills On Time"
and here is the midterm:
Midterm Exam: Things you will need to know, unlike how to divide fractions and the chemical makeup of rocks.
(select as many as apply)
1. Bill Collectors will call you :
a. Monday through Friday
b. Anytime day or night regardless of what time you went to bed, or if your child was up until 4 am vomiting.
c. Never, if you pay your bills before the due date.
d. You mean if I forget to turn something in people will hassle me for it rather than just let me slide?
2. Children will throw a fit:
a. When you are home.
b. Out in public in a busy store when you are running late, have to pee and realize that even though you thought you were finished shopping you forget both of the items you actually came to the store for, which are conveniently located in the back, and there is only 1 register open.
c. In the middle of a parking lot
d. As soon as your infant falls asleep for a much needed nap time when you have a bazillion things to do.
3. You will fight with your spouse/ significant other:
a. Immediately before a birthday party, family function or important gathering.
b. On a holiday
c. when you are way too tired to deal with this.
d.
4. Your bank account will overdraft at some point because :
a. Your spouse will conveniently forget they spent $50 on something you think is stupid.
b. You did not realize that a bill had not actually cleared your account and went out to dinner thinking you had the funds.
c. Gas stations don't post for several days when you fill up.
d. You thought that bill that comes out automatically was scheduled for the 15th, not the 10th.
e. you have no idea, but now you owe $275 in overdraft fees, because a $1.29 drink just cost you an additional $35, better have been the best damn Pepsi you ever had!
5. You will catch the worst cold of your life:
a. Conveniently on a weekend
b. When you have no vacation days left for the year
c. When you have something important to do at work
d. When your spouse is out of town, leaving you with the kids and family coming into town next week.
e. When both of the kids have been vomiting and the baby is teething, allowing you absolutely no down time.
f. When the doctor can't fit you in for another week.
g. When there is nothing for colds or pain relief in the house and the kids are finally asleep and the store is closed.
6. Tax season:
a. Will be exciting because you can finally pay off those credit cards and past due bills.
b. Will be dreaded because it will be gone 3 days later when all the above clear your account.
c. Will be stressful, since as soon as you finish and submit them you get another letter in the mail marked "Important Tax Document"
d. Will suck since you end up owing this year.
7. Your friends will:
a. Always be your friends and be there when you need them
b. Let you down without meaning to
c. Forget you exist once you have children
d. Start a bunch of drama that you thought was over in the 10th grade, but apparently even though you own a house we are all still 12
e. What friends? I haven't left the house without being covered in snot, breast milk or dog hair in 3 years.
f. Move far far away.
**** Next Semester we will cover the following:
-Failed relationships
-How voting works and the months of political mumbo jumbo that you will endure before any sort of election, which is always
- Why buying a house is about as hard as shoving a 400 lb person in your Civic trunk.
- Why your Honda is no longer cool
- Moving back in with your parents
- Mysterious charges on your bank statement
-Alcohol Poisoning and hangovers
- Personal Property tax (also known as "damn, how did I forget about that?"
-How to remove a boot from your vehicle in a bar parking lot when you forget about Personal Property Taxes
- Drug Dealing neighbors
-Paying your own car insurance, and how getting a ticket affects this.
For Extra Credit:
Go home and ask your parents who cleans the oven, the litter box and what a meal plan is.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Almost There
26 weeks. 6.5-ish months. 182 days ( give or take a few). That is how far pregnant I am. Considering there is only 3 months left in this pregnancy, by my count 12 weeks since I was early with both JT (induced) and Ellie (a wonderful 4 am water- breaking wake up call).
I have a million and one things going on these days and in the grand scheme of life I have literally a blink of an eye left before my body delivers a change to my entire world, as well as the world of everyone in my house. There's still a list of necessities to purchase, half a house to clean and organize, and then there's the whole setting up my house for the baby part- crib, going through clothes and washing them, setting up a swing, gathering my nursing stuff, packing bags and a few thousand other small tasks that I have on just as many mental lists. You know--- nothing a nesting woman unleashed on her house can't cover, as long as she can walk.
I have to be honest though, I am fairly content with this pregnancy. After I got through my aversion to food in general and was able to keep down most everything, I actually began to enjoy it. For those of you with children already I know that this sounds crazy. For those of you who have heard horror stories, I must apologize.. some of them may have even come from me, but honestly I enjoy being pregnant. I love the flutters and the movements. I love the growing belly, the weird urges and the cool facts.. Like how finger prints are made, and when the baby can hear outside voices etc.
Sure, there are plenty of things I don't like about being pregnant. . For instance, the fact that I have had to replace my shoes every pregnancy because my feet grow. They tell you about ligament stretching and hip widening blah blah blah.. they don't tell you that your feet will never again fit into those expensive shoes you finally convinced your husband to let you buy. . . which may or may not be still in my closet 3 years later.. don't judge me.. I have delusional fantasies. I also dislike the swelling, which by the way, seasons do not really make a difference for most women. So, February or July your fingers at some point will look like sausages and your wedding band that slid on perfectly 2 days ago may wake you up at 3 a.m. cutting off circulation to your finger and scaring you half to death. ( Side note : Can someone please remind me to go to the jewelry store and have mine cut off before that happens again?)
You know what else I dislike about being pregnant? Heartburn. I am aware that child birth pain according to the bible was a punishment to women for sin, pretty sure God could have stopped at heartburn. Seriously. It's like having a blow torch inside your throat, and can be triggered by anything. And I mean anything. You go all day without it, and suddenly the last sip of water you take before bed triggers it. BOOM... hello inferno, good luck sleeping tonight.
There is this myth that spicy and acidic foods are the main triggers, but honestly, I think that is a lie designed by health food advocates. I don't even know what triggers mine, besides generalizing it as any sustenance that I consume. Oh, I almost forgot, the growing miracle that insists on shoving my stomach into my mouth at random intervals throughout the day, that could potentially have something to do with it. Oh, there are all these "tricks" to help prevent heartburn, like not reclining for 45 minutes after eating anything.. is that even possible when you are pregnant? You would never ever recline.. which by the way is another issue.. after eating you're so bloated that you can't sit straight.. and that's after eating a snack.. Dinner makes me feel like an oompa loompa.
Back to the joys of pregnancy. Actually... excuse me, I have to go take some more Zantac. We will discuss this further at another point. When my esophagus is not capable of making s'mores and I can think straight.
I have a million and one things going on these days and in the grand scheme of life I have literally a blink of an eye left before my body delivers a change to my entire world, as well as the world of everyone in my house. There's still a list of necessities to purchase, half a house to clean and organize, and then there's the whole setting up my house for the baby part- crib, going through clothes and washing them, setting up a swing, gathering my nursing stuff, packing bags and a few thousand other small tasks that I have on just as many mental lists. You know--- nothing a nesting woman unleashed on her house can't cover, as long as she can walk.
I have to be honest though, I am fairly content with this pregnancy. After I got through my aversion to food in general and was able to keep down most everything, I actually began to enjoy it. For those of you with children already I know that this sounds crazy. For those of you who have heard horror stories, I must apologize.. some of them may have even come from me, but honestly I enjoy being pregnant. I love the flutters and the movements. I love the growing belly, the weird urges and the cool facts.. Like how finger prints are made, and when the baby can hear outside voices etc.
Sure, there are plenty of things I don't like about being pregnant. . For instance, the fact that I have had to replace my shoes every pregnancy because my feet grow. They tell you about ligament stretching and hip widening blah blah blah.. they don't tell you that your feet will never again fit into those expensive shoes you finally convinced your husband to let you buy. . . which may or may not be still in my closet 3 years later.. don't judge me.. I have delusional fantasies. I also dislike the swelling, which by the way, seasons do not really make a difference for most women. So, February or July your fingers at some point will look like sausages and your wedding band that slid on perfectly 2 days ago may wake you up at 3 a.m. cutting off circulation to your finger and scaring you half to death. ( Side note : Can someone please remind me to go to the jewelry store and have mine cut off before that happens again?)
You know what else I dislike about being pregnant? Heartburn. I am aware that child birth pain according to the bible was a punishment to women for sin, pretty sure God could have stopped at heartburn. Seriously. It's like having a blow torch inside your throat, and can be triggered by anything. And I mean anything. You go all day without it, and suddenly the last sip of water you take before bed triggers it. BOOM... hello inferno, good luck sleeping tonight.
There is this myth that spicy and acidic foods are the main triggers, but honestly, I think that is a lie designed by health food advocates. I don't even know what triggers mine, besides generalizing it as any sustenance that I consume. Oh, I almost forgot, the growing miracle that insists on shoving my stomach into my mouth at random intervals throughout the day, that could potentially have something to do with it. Oh, there are all these "tricks" to help prevent heartburn, like not reclining for 45 minutes after eating anything.. is that even possible when you are pregnant? You would never ever recline.. which by the way is another issue.. after eating you're so bloated that you can't sit straight.. and that's after eating a snack.. Dinner makes me feel like an oompa loompa.
Back to the joys of pregnancy. Actually... excuse me, I have to go take some more Zantac. We will discuss this further at another point. When my esophagus is not capable of making s'mores and I can think straight.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Through the Eyes of a 3 Year Old
Confession: there's still a Christmas tree on my back deck.
Don't judge... I at least took the lights off before it made it out of
my house, and in all fairness its been a bit crazy over the last few
weeks. We have been out of town 3 times, with a million and one
things going on, and Ian has had weird work hours.
With that said, I have been complaining to Ian about not ever
seeing deer in my back yard. I was honestly looking forward to the
frequent visits since there is not only a creek running through our
yard, but also our property backs up to Lee Drive, which as most
of you know is a popular park running between Laffayette Blvd and
Lansdowne Rd. I was greatly disappointed that its been 10 months
since we bought our house and there have been zero sightings. I
have considered salt licks and several other ideas for drawing them
to our fence line. Ian likes to rub it in that he hears them regularly..
Sunday morning when we had a light dusting I was standing at
my back door admiring how pretty the woods were when I saw
some movement a few feet back into the woods, it was then that
I saw them.. several large doe a smaller deer and a big buck.
I called JT over to show him, as we often admire the birds and
squirrels together, and I am not sure he has ever seen deer before.
It took him a moment, but when they finally caught his attention he
screamed something incoherent.
At first I was confused, and slowly I started to understand him
talking about presents and the word Santa.. For a few minutes I still
could not put 2 and 2 together, and I had to break his heart and tell
him Christmas was not for a while... then it clicked..
My son witnessed "magic" thanks to our lack of thorough un-
decorating. (it's a word.. go with it). Not only was it snowing, but
having never seen real deer, they looked like reindeer to him.. and
there was a Christmas tree.... still in its stand I might add. All of this
could only mean one thing.. Santa was in fact in our back yard.
I did not have it in my heart to tell him the truth at this time. The
truth being, mommy and daddy are lazy and the decorations are
still in the laundry room, and those are regular ole' deer, nothing
magical.. and frankly its cold as balls outside so it snowed. So for
now... JT got to see Santa, in February. What I would give to have
Don't judge... I at least took the lights off before it made it out of
my house, and in all fairness its been a bit crazy over the last few
weeks. We have been out of town 3 times, with a million and one
things going on, and Ian has had weird work hours.
With that said, I have been complaining to Ian about not ever
seeing deer in my back yard. I was honestly looking forward to the
frequent visits since there is not only a creek running through our
yard, but also our property backs up to Lee Drive, which as most
of you know is a popular park running between Laffayette Blvd and
Lansdowne Rd. I was greatly disappointed that its been 10 months
since we bought our house and there have been zero sightings. I
have considered salt licks and several other ideas for drawing them
to our fence line. Ian likes to rub it in that he hears them regularly..
Sunday morning when we had a light dusting I was standing at
my back door admiring how pretty the woods were when I saw
some movement a few feet back into the woods, it was then that
I saw them.. several large doe a smaller deer and a big buck.
I called JT over to show him, as we often admire the birds and
squirrels together, and I am not sure he has ever seen deer before.
It took him a moment, but when they finally caught his attention he
screamed something incoherent.
At first I was confused, and slowly I started to understand him
talking about presents and the word Santa.. For a few minutes I still
could not put 2 and 2 together, and I had to break his heart and tell
him Christmas was not for a while... then it clicked..
My son witnessed "magic" thanks to our lack of thorough un-
decorating. (it's a word.. go with it). Not only was it snowing, but
having never seen real deer, they looked like reindeer to him.. and
there was a Christmas tree.... still in its stand I might add. All of this
could only mean one thing.. Santa was in fact in our back yard.
I did not have it in my heart to tell him the truth at this time. The
truth being, mommy and daddy are lazy and the decorations are
still in the laundry room, and those are regular ole' deer, nothing
magical.. and frankly its cold as balls outside so it snowed. So for
now... JT got to see Santa, in February. What I would give to have
that kind of reasoning, and luck.. Santa doesn't leave the North
Pole for just anyone.
Pole for just anyone.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The price of lost sleep
Warning: this blog was vengefully thought through at 8:05 am.
Anyone who is married, ever has been married, or is in a long term relationship will admit that their significant other has at least one thing that could drive a saint bonkers. If they have yet to find it, they have not lived together long enough.
My husband is a wonderful man. Many of you have met him. He gives me everything I ask for. He loves me, even when I don't think I deserve his love. He is affectionate and sweet and a great father, he is funny, and sometimes down right maddening, but I love him with all I am.
With all that being said let's get down to business.. Ian is a deep sleeper. We are talking so deep that we have had full conversations, he has gotten out of bed and walked into another room, kicked me in the face.. I will explain momentarily... and even argued with me all while sleeping.
When Ian and I first began living together I learned this lesson the hard way. One night, approximately 3 am, I was rudely awakened by a swift kick to the face. Imagine how angry I was, laying in bed all cozy, dreaming some totally off the wall dream that could never possibly occur in real life, and WHAM.. right in the jaw. Sitting up, confused and ready to start yelling I find Ian on all fours digging in our bed. Yup. . digging. Ok, I no longer feel the urge to yell, but my rate of confusion is much much higher.
" Ian, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
" I am looking for something"
"What on earth are you looking for?"
"It doesn't matter."
"What do you mean it doesn't matter, what are you looking for."
At this point he sits back on his heels, turns around to face me and while looking me straight in the face gives me an exasperated look and responds with " The ABA"
" What in hell is the ABA and why are you looking for it in our bed?"
"Go back to bed Stacey, It doesn't matter you're not a member"
FOR REAL?!?!
"Ian, I am getting really pissed. You just kicked me in the face, what is the ABA?"
"The American Bowlers Association"
" So help me God Ian, GO BACK TO BED"
The following morning Ian has absolutely no recollection of these events. In similar events, he once used my ringing cell phone to search between the bed and the wall for "reverse." Climbed into bed with JT in the middle of the night for no reason, Ellie was still in a crib at this point so I was relieved that he bypassed her room, although he did open her door. He repeatedly fights me for the pillow that I sleep on, has gotten out of bed and started screaming at me occasionally leaving me in tears before climbing back in bed and resuming his snoring, and once even propped himself up and stared at me with the creepiest grin on his face I have ever seen, leaving me with the heebie jeebies.
A man who can sleep through all this activity still thinks that a sissy alarm clock is somehow going to wake him up. Every morning beginning at 7:30 am there is a series of beep beep beep's and BOOMP BOOMP BOOMP's that are a miserably failed attempt at waking him up. He can sleep through them like a baby, leaving me screaming at him and ripping the pillow out from under his peacefully sleeping head just for him to press a stupid snooze button. Lucky for me, 9 minutes later we get to go through it again. Sometimes he even leaves a phone downstairs, so I get to lay in bed glaring at him while it goes off for half an hour.
There is this alarm called Mr. Clocky. It has wheels, and after you press the snooze button it rolls itself off the table and hides itself somewhere in the room so the next time it goes off you have to get up and search for it. I considered spending the whatever money on it until I realized a few things.
1. I would inevitably be the one getting up and searching for it every morning.. mission get Ian out of bed failed.
2. the children would think it was a toy and it would end up going off in one of their closets. These children like their father can sleep though anything short of a bomb, unless of course you open their bedroom doors, in which case your hopes and dreams of getting anything done (like a few more minutes of sleep) are dashed quicker than you can turn around and run.
3. Reha would demolish it.
But look, it's actually kind of cute.
Until then, I am taking suggestions. And this is payback for the many mornings of lost sleep.
Anyone who is married, ever has been married, or is in a long term relationship will admit that their significant other has at least one thing that could drive a saint bonkers. If they have yet to find it, they have not lived together long enough.
My husband is a wonderful man. Many of you have met him. He gives me everything I ask for. He loves me, even when I don't think I deserve his love. He is affectionate and sweet and a great father, he is funny, and sometimes down right maddening, but I love him with all I am.
With all that being said let's get down to business.. Ian is a deep sleeper. We are talking so deep that we have had full conversations, he has gotten out of bed and walked into another room, kicked me in the face.. I will explain momentarily... and even argued with me all while sleeping.
When Ian and I first began living together I learned this lesson the hard way. One night, approximately 3 am, I was rudely awakened by a swift kick to the face. Imagine how angry I was, laying in bed all cozy, dreaming some totally off the wall dream that could never possibly occur in real life, and WHAM.. right in the jaw. Sitting up, confused and ready to start yelling I find Ian on all fours digging in our bed. Yup. . digging. Ok, I no longer feel the urge to yell, but my rate of confusion is much much higher.
" Ian, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
" I am looking for something"
"What on earth are you looking for?"
"It doesn't matter."
"What do you mean it doesn't matter, what are you looking for."
At this point he sits back on his heels, turns around to face me and while looking me straight in the face gives me an exasperated look and responds with " The ABA"
" What in hell is the ABA and why are you looking for it in our bed?"
"Go back to bed Stacey, It doesn't matter you're not a member"
FOR REAL?!?!
"Ian, I am getting really pissed. You just kicked me in the face, what is the ABA?"
"The American Bowlers Association"
" So help me God Ian, GO BACK TO BED"
The following morning Ian has absolutely no recollection of these events. In similar events, he once used my ringing cell phone to search between the bed and the wall for "reverse." Climbed into bed with JT in the middle of the night for no reason, Ellie was still in a crib at this point so I was relieved that he bypassed her room, although he did open her door. He repeatedly fights me for the pillow that I sleep on, has gotten out of bed and started screaming at me occasionally leaving me in tears before climbing back in bed and resuming his snoring, and once even propped himself up and stared at me with the creepiest grin on his face I have ever seen, leaving me with the heebie jeebies.
A man who can sleep through all this activity still thinks that a sissy alarm clock is somehow going to wake him up. Every morning beginning at 7:30 am there is a series of beep beep beep's and BOOMP BOOMP BOOMP's that are a miserably failed attempt at waking him up. He can sleep through them like a baby, leaving me screaming at him and ripping the pillow out from under his peacefully sleeping head just for him to press a stupid snooze button. Lucky for me, 9 minutes later we get to go through it again. Sometimes he even leaves a phone downstairs, so I get to lay in bed glaring at him while it goes off for half an hour.
There is this alarm called Mr. Clocky. It has wheels, and after you press the snooze button it rolls itself off the table and hides itself somewhere in the room so the next time it goes off you have to get up and search for it. I considered spending the whatever money on it until I realized a few things.
1. I would inevitably be the one getting up and searching for it every morning.. mission get Ian out of bed failed.
2. the children would think it was a toy and it would end up going off in one of their closets. These children like their father can sleep though anything short of a bomb, unless of course you open their bedroom doors, in which case your hopes and dreams of getting anything done (like a few more minutes of sleep) are dashed quicker than you can turn around and run.
3. Reha would demolish it.
But look, it's actually kind of cute.
I will continue to devise an evil plan to wake Ian up without having to continue our exhausting morning routine of
"Turn it off"
"Turn what off? why are you so mad?"
"Your alarm has been going off for 20 minutes!! How do you not hear that? the whole house is awake now!"Until then, I am taking suggestions. And this is payback for the many mornings of lost sleep.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Hello Hormones
Pregnancy hormones have a way of getting the best of you. I mean here you are sitting in your living room minding your own business when all of a sudden your husband gets smacked in the face with a hormonal meltdown.
Luckily for Ian we have been through this process before and he is well aware of how to handle it. He knows that ignoring it will do no good, and might even piss me off, and telling me I am ridiculous will in fact set me off further and will turn into a huge fight over nothing.
Last night when my latest episode of estrogen decided to strike, I was sitting on the couch trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. During this pregnancy I have been experiencing something very new to me, in that nothing tastes good. At first I thought it was because I had been so sick and had developed a few aversions. After the sickness wore off ( at least to the point of being able to keep down something other than toast ) I learned that in fact the issue was my mouth and not my stomach. It seemed that everything I could think to eat sounded gross. I quickly resorted to baked potatoes and more toast, but these get old very soon when it's all you can eat for weeks on end. Finally I discovered that there is an actual medical term for it; "dysguesia" which means an altered sense of taste. In severe cases all food leaves a bad taste in your mouth and even water has an after taste. Thank GOD I am not in fact the only person who has ever dealt with this. That only helps so far as to comfort me out of thinking I am crazy, and does nothing for solving the issue of what to sustain my own life with as well as that of the baby's.
I have discovered one single flavor that does not repulse me besides the very bland toast and plain baked potatoes, and that is lemon. Not generally a fan, however the last few months the smell and taste is heavenly. Considering that last night in my internal food debate I decided to order in some seafood that I could drown in lemon... until the one place that offers seafood that delivers to my house (my sister took the car to work) had sent home their only on clock delivery person shortly before I called. Not wanting Pizza or pasta I tried to order Thai.. they closed early. I finally settled with Chinese, knowing I could at least keep it down, however it was not what I wanted, and fell so far short on my taste bud registry that I decided it was a waste of money after a few bites, but ate it anyways.
In the wait for food my stomach had begun to hurt so badly from hunger that I curled up on the couch and began to cry. This is where Ian stepped in. He sat in front of me on the floor and rubbed my head as I unravelled.
" I don't understand! I wanted another baby so bad, and this one doesn't like me. It's so hard this time and I can't even eat anything. I just want to be able to eat."
" Hunny, the baby does not hate you. You won't even remember this in a few months. Think about all you went through with Ellie and JT. You were so sick you couldn't get up the stairs. You had to go to the hospital because you were dehydrated, you couldn't even keep down water. And look, you don't even remember it being that bad. You wanted to do it again."
" I just want to eat. It's never going to taste good again. I am going to be miserable forever."
" Baby you will make it through this just like you did the last 2. "
" It doesn't feel like I will"
At this point Ellie is in my face asking me what happened. Ian explaining to her that my belly hurts, she begins to rub me and shush me. I on the other hand continue to cry hysterically and tell Ian all about how I am going to never want food again. How I am going to have to eat potatoes and toast for the rest of my life and how much I miss the taste of food. How I just want to taste something yummy again, like vegetables and fruit. The taste of seasonings and chicken. How I miss cooking and baking and how much it all repulses me right now. All in the meantime leaving a tear soaked couch cushion under my face. A spot so large that had I not known it was my own tears I would have questioned if someone had peed there. Also springing to my mind my father's constant jab to me as a child when we walked by a water fountain asking me if I needed to refill. ( ok, so I was a cry baby. )I got a drink after that, not sure if it was because I feel there may be some truth to it, or if I was in fact thirsty.
To be honest with you I have not even been able to grocery shop in weeks save for the necessities because even shopping for the food is gross. How do you shop and meal plan when the food you are buying makes you want to hurl just putting it in the cart. The worst part is I have several friends who are at the same point in pregnancy as I am or slightly further and they are all enjoying wonderful dishes, and having a blast going to eat with friends and experiencing food cravings. I ... I sit here dreaming about the taste of coffee and silently convincing myself that the muffin I had earlier in fact tasted as good as I wanted it to. . . It didn't, and every time I burp I taste it still, but I will take victory in being able to hold down a 600 calorie muffin without the help of Zofran.
Until food tastes good again, continue to post all your yummy treats so I can taste vicariously through you.
Luckily for Ian we have been through this process before and he is well aware of how to handle it. He knows that ignoring it will do no good, and might even piss me off, and telling me I am ridiculous will in fact set me off further and will turn into a huge fight over nothing.
Last night when my latest episode of estrogen decided to strike, I was sitting on the couch trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. During this pregnancy I have been experiencing something very new to me, in that nothing tastes good. At first I thought it was because I had been so sick and had developed a few aversions. After the sickness wore off ( at least to the point of being able to keep down something other than toast ) I learned that in fact the issue was my mouth and not my stomach. It seemed that everything I could think to eat sounded gross. I quickly resorted to baked potatoes and more toast, but these get old very soon when it's all you can eat for weeks on end. Finally I discovered that there is an actual medical term for it; "dysguesia" which means an altered sense of taste. In severe cases all food leaves a bad taste in your mouth and even water has an after taste. Thank GOD I am not in fact the only person who has ever dealt with this. That only helps so far as to comfort me out of thinking I am crazy, and does nothing for solving the issue of what to sustain my own life with as well as that of the baby's.
I have discovered one single flavor that does not repulse me besides the very bland toast and plain baked potatoes, and that is lemon. Not generally a fan, however the last few months the smell and taste is heavenly. Considering that last night in my internal food debate I decided to order in some seafood that I could drown in lemon... until the one place that offers seafood that delivers to my house (my sister took the car to work) had sent home their only on clock delivery person shortly before I called. Not wanting Pizza or pasta I tried to order Thai.. they closed early. I finally settled with Chinese, knowing I could at least keep it down, however it was not what I wanted, and fell so far short on my taste bud registry that I decided it was a waste of money after a few bites, but ate it anyways.
In the wait for food my stomach had begun to hurt so badly from hunger that I curled up on the couch and began to cry. This is where Ian stepped in. He sat in front of me on the floor and rubbed my head as I unravelled.
" I don't understand! I wanted another baby so bad, and this one doesn't like me. It's so hard this time and I can't even eat anything. I just want to be able to eat."
" Hunny, the baby does not hate you. You won't even remember this in a few months. Think about all you went through with Ellie and JT. You were so sick you couldn't get up the stairs. You had to go to the hospital because you were dehydrated, you couldn't even keep down water. And look, you don't even remember it being that bad. You wanted to do it again."
" I just want to eat. It's never going to taste good again. I am going to be miserable forever."
" Baby you will make it through this just like you did the last 2. "
" It doesn't feel like I will"
At this point Ellie is in my face asking me what happened. Ian explaining to her that my belly hurts, she begins to rub me and shush me. I on the other hand continue to cry hysterically and tell Ian all about how I am going to never want food again. How I am going to have to eat potatoes and toast for the rest of my life and how much I miss the taste of food. How I just want to taste something yummy again, like vegetables and fruit. The taste of seasonings and chicken. How I miss cooking and baking and how much it all repulses me right now. All in the meantime leaving a tear soaked couch cushion under my face. A spot so large that had I not known it was my own tears I would have questioned if someone had peed there. Also springing to my mind my father's constant jab to me as a child when we walked by a water fountain asking me if I needed to refill. ( ok, so I was a cry baby. )I got a drink after that, not sure if it was because I feel there may be some truth to it, or if I was in fact thirsty.
To be honest with you I have not even been able to grocery shop in weeks save for the necessities because even shopping for the food is gross. How do you shop and meal plan when the food you are buying makes you want to hurl just putting it in the cart. The worst part is I have several friends who are at the same point in pregnancy as I am or slightly further and they are all enjoying wonderful dishes, and having a blast going to eat with friends and experiencing food cravings. I ... I sit here dreaming about the taste of coffee and silently convincing myself that the muffin I had earlier in fact tasted as good as I wanted it to. . . It didn't, and every time I burp I taste it still, but I will take victory in being able to hold down a 600 calorie muffin without the help of Zofran.
Until food tastes good again, continue to post all your yummy treats so I can taste vicariously through you.
Monday, November 26, 2012
oh November!
So, where have I been?? Very good question. I have been busying myself with so many different things this November that honestly even I had to think about that answer for a few. . And as with all good ponderings there is a FABULOUS story to tell you about what I have remembered about this crazy month.
For starters, I have been partially couch ridden with some of the lovely woes that accompany pregnancy. If you have been pregnant, you need no further explanation, and if you have not, well... Google can be your best friend and your worst enemy. . it's really about luck of the draw. Also, I have been preparing my house for the holidays, like most of you.
Thanksgiving this year, as most of you smart-phone-toting Americans would know, fell on November 22. This glorious day of way too many calories and yummy goodness happens to be another day of importance in my house. . my birthday. So what does this pregnant lady with 2 toddlers, 2 dogs, 1 cat, a sister and husband decide to do on such a day. . . Host 20 odd family members in her house. Ok, look. If you got through that last sentence you have already established that my sanity is not intact.. don't judge me.
Most of November I spent either preparing or freaking out about not having prepared for this huge event. I did take a night of "me time" to attend opening weekend of Breaking Dawn with my friends Andrea and Sarah. What a night, a much needed night of laughing. To begin, walking to the car to meet Andrea (we are neighbors, it really is all green and such to ride share when we are going the same place) I nearly walk smack dab into a tree... in my front yard. Not as if I was unaware that tree was there... I complain about it all the time, and admittedly have walked into it before.We have nicknamed it the Octo-tree, since it reproduces all over our yard. Andrea of course being the awesome friend she is laughed hysterically at me. We drive across town to meet our friend Sarah whom we will be grabbing a bite to eat with in the 21+ lounge at the theatre. We did this for 2 reasons. . 1. they are not all impregnated and can drink yummy beverages before hand. 2. we got to skip the line of teenage girls and head instead to our reserved seats after the previews had already started.
During dinner we joked a lot about life. . marriage, dating, my children (both of them are currently childless by choice, and adore JT and Ellie) and my crazy household, right up until it was time to get boxes. Sarah, unknowingly ordered an entire pizza. Andrea and I knew, we just chose not to tell her. . the pizza is really yummy and the movie was long. she might need a snack. Upon delivery of the boxes, Sarah slightly embarrasses herself in front of the waiter. . who happened to be cute, and overhear her remark about such fact as he was literally right behind her head taking something off the table. Seeing Sarah blush is fun. She turns into the same girl I knew in high school. . . just about 32 shades pinker. Fortunately this was not even the end of poor Sarah's uncomfortable encounters that night.
About 10 minutes into the movie, a random drunk guy parks himself next to Sarah on what looks to be like a love seat with an armrest separating the 2 seats that is her reserved spot. We are unsure if he is supposed to be sitting there or not, but he leans in extremely close to her face and says " Baby, I will be back in a minute." More awkwardly.. he does not in fact proceed to go anywhere. He remains seated all up in her personal space for the next half an hour before finally scampering off somewhere. Andrea and I send Sarah the "what on EARTH" look, and drunk guy returns. He honestly felt that his alcohol stench and mere presence were not enough that he had to announce to her that he was back. . again in her personal space. Luckily about 2 minutes later he was curled up nearly in the fetal position facing away from her and knocked out cold for the rest of the movie.
On our way out the door, we see drunk boy apologizing to what we figured was his actual girlfriend, not sure where she was during the movie, as she tries to sober him enough to get him down the flight of stairs. .
After a fun night away from life, I returned to my crazy house. I am pretty sure my children are like hound dogs and have sniffed out my weakness this month and plotted against me. There have been attitudes and house wrecking flying left and right in my house. There was the Facebook pictures of the food dye incident. . Brand new box of food dye, and my children combined to paint a wall, tye-dye 2 dog cages and drip a clear path from the laundry room to the dining room wall. It's like follow the rainbow on my carpet. . Thank heavens we decided to get a steam cleaner with one of our housewarming presents. . Thanks Bob!!
JT has decided to be an artist, with my house as his canvas. Never having drawn on anything but paper he decided in one week to pin his sister on the floor and draw all over her body; back, stomach, face, legs. . you name it. A day or so later he tackled 2 of my living room walls with a red marker, the next day he got my bedroom. This time with permanent fabric marker. after deciding that mommy and daddy needed a headboard, he decorated our comforter. SWEET. Next came the paint. Having most of my craft supplies in a corner desk and drawer unit in my bedroom, we generally keep the door locked for my sanity and their safety. For some reason we have been slacking in that department and I should have learned my lesson after the markers, but of course I didn't. After completing the dishes without interruption I set off to find my children and whatever they had discovered, thinking my door was locked and like usual I would be finding them standing on bins somewhere in their toy room. . that was until I saw my door wide open and heard giggling. . damn.
A brand new large bottle of white acrylic paint is smeared on the side of my dresser, all over Ellie from head to toe, and she is eating a paint brush.Ellie still showing signs of food dye drips on her legs is becoming an awesome piece of work. JT immediately tries to hide between the dresser and wall, but cant fit, so just sticks his head in, in a moment of "if I can't see you, you can't see me: mentality. Luckily, and I better start knocking on wood and praying to Jesus. . they have not ruined anything.
Ian decided the weekend before Thanksgiving to chop down 2 of the trees in the front yard, had I known that poor tree was going down I might have let it get me. the second of now missing trees was a beautiful smoke tree. Granted it was placed inconveniently, taking up any area of the yard that might be usable as it sat so low to the ground, and was planted smack dab in the center of the house blocking our view of the street, it was a beautiful tree. Sadly Ian did not share my feelings and was unaware that I would have a pregnant meltdown outside after it was laying on the ground. His only response to his actions, and my unreasonable attachment to a tree was " we can plant more trees." He tries. . really he does.
My mom was wonderful enough to come over 2 times in the week and half before Thanksgiving to help me clear my house of clutter and get some things in order. I being the "Oh I can handle this" followed by meltdown lady that I am, decided to completely swap 2 rooms of my house 2 days prior to Thanksgiving. Why you ask? Well it seemed logical at the time. My sister needed more space, but as there was just no place to put the things that were crowding her room, and the children never used their playroom because they don't like to be upstairs without me, I figured that it would make sense to swap them. This would not only force me to rid the toy room of some toys since the space is smaller, but would hopefully keep it clean more since I can check in on them and make sure they are not getting into trouble. It would also force the pile of goodwill items to actually go to goodwill and the attic pile to make it to its final destination. All while giving my sister an actual closet and room to stretch her legs, and eventually put a bed.
Yeah I really did not anticipate it being that difficult. It seemed cut and dry. It wasn't. It was long and tiring and lots of up and down the stairs and I don't want to's. Finally though it was all coming together and Andrea came over to help out. She really is a fabulous friend. We went through some toys and got rid of an entire over-flowing bin of toys. We were even able to get the toy room in working order so that my nieces and nephews could play in there the next day. It's amazing. Now I just need to help my sister get settled in upstairs and we should be good to go.
My house by the way looked pretty darn good for our get together. Ian finished cleaning the yard, there was very little "just shove that there and I will deal with it later", and I even had enough time to get a birthday breakfast and fire. Ian did a great job of making up for the last few years of crappy birthdays by making this one fabulous. He even made it fabulous through the remainder of the weekend. I received a few foot rubs, back rubs, hunny I can get it's, and he cleaned up the house for me. I got a Birthday Card this year, major improvement, and he agreed to family portraits without a fight. He even cleaned up the entire box of baking soda the children decided to grace the dog cage with. I have to admit, it crossed my mind that he is sucking up to get the sheep skin slippers he has been asking for every year.
With November drawing to an end, and Christmas just around the corner I am sure there will be more craziness to follow. I did forget to mention a few things. My dear friend Katie had her baby. Cute as a button. Since we share a birthday a few of our friends came together to celebrate with us and it was a lot of fun. My Dad paid for me to have my hair done as a birthday present, which Andrea babysat for, she discovered the joys of watching stupid cartoons with a 3 year old and has a new found distaste for Curious George. . She feels he is not in fact curious but just a jerk. Ellie and JT have learned some new phrases. . Ellie now says Bieber Fever, nom nom nom and follows up the name Channing Tatum with the sound. . mmm mmm. JT has discovered sarcasm. When I told him he had to sit in time out until Daddy came home ( he was just around the corner) he looked me straight in the eye, raised his voice an octave or two and said " WHAAAAT?!?!"
He has also discovered logic and reasoning. Like his "I'll walk" comment after Daddy told him he could not run to me every time he did not like what he was told, he also made a clever conclusion when it came to getting in trouble. Ellie broke into 4 bottles of finger paint in the toy room. I blame Ian for not moving a bin out containing the paints and some nails and screws that I had asked him to get, he blames me for leaving it where the kids could get it in the first place.Touche. Either way it was a mess. In the process of cleaning up JT comes into the room, inquisitive as always. After we explain that we are cleaning up the mess we ask if he had anything to do with it. Ian immediately assumed since he had a smear of purple on his arm, but I defend him by saying there is paint everywhere and it's not on his hands. He could have rubbed against something. He takes one look at his sister who is pouting in time out, and looks his daddy straight in the face with a smirk across his lips and shakes his head. . "NOPE"
Ian informed him plausible deniablility will be out the door soon. . Ellie is getting really good at full sentences. Soon little guy she will be ratting you out. Enjoy it while you can.
For starters, I have been partially couch ridden with some of the lovely woes that accompany pregnancy. If you have been pregnant, you need no further explanation, and if you have not, well... Google can be your best friend and your worst enemy. . it's really about luck of the draw. Also, I have been preparing my house for the holidays, like most of you.
Thanksgiving this year, as most of you smart-phone-toting Americans would know, fell on November 22. This glorious day of way too many calories and yummy goodness happens to be another day of importance in my house. . my birthday. So what does this pregnant lady with 2 toddlers, 2 dogs, 1 cat, a sister and husband decide to do on such a day. . . Host 20 odd family members in her house. Ok, look. If you got through that last sentence you have already established that my sanity is not intact.. don't judge me.
Most of November I spent either preparing or freaking out about not having prepared for this huge event. I did take a night of "me time" to attend opening weekend of Breaking Dawn with my friends Andrea and Sarah. What a night, a much needed night of laughing. To begin, walking to the car to meet Andrea (we are neighbors, it really is all green and such to ride share when we are going the same place) I nearly walk smack dab into a tree... in my front yard. Not as if I was unaware that tree was there... I complain about it all the time, and admittedly have walked into it before.We have nicknamed it the Octo-tree, since it reproduces all over our yard. Andrea of course being the awesome friend she is laughed hysterically at me. We drive across town to meet our friend Sarah whom we will be grabbing a bite to eat with in the 21+ lounge at the theatre. We did this for 2 reasons. . 1. they are not all impregnated and can drink yummy beverages before hand. 2. we got to skip the line of teenage girls and head instead to our reserved seats after the previews had already started.
During dinner we joked a lot about life. . marriage, dating, my children (both of them are currently childless by choice, and adore JT and Ellie) and my crazy household, right up until it was time to get boxes. Sarah, unknowingly ordered an entire pizza. Andrea and I knew, we just chose not to tell her. . the pizza is really yummy and the movie was long. she might need a snack. Upon delivery of the boxes, Sarah slightly embarrasses herself in front of the waiter. . who happened to be cute, and overhear her remark about such fact as he was literally right behind her head taking something off the table. Seeing Sarah blush is fun. She turns into the same girl I knew in high school. . . just about 32 shades pinker. Fortunately this was not even the end of poor Sarah's uncomfortable encounters that night.
About 10 minutes into the movie, a random drunk guy parks himself next to Sarah on what looks to be like a love seat with an armrest separating the 2 seats that is her reserved spot. We are unsure if he is supposed to be sitting there or not, but he leans in extremely close to her face and says " Baby, I will be back in a minute." More awkwardly.. he does not in fact proceed to go anywhere. He remains seated all up in her personal space for the next half an hour before finally scampering off somewhere. Andrea and I send Sarah the "what on EARTH" look, and drunk guy returns. He honestly felt that his alcohol stench and mere presence were not enough that he had to announce to her that he was back. . again in her personal space. Luckily about 2 minutes later he was curled up nearly in the fetal position facing away from her and knocked out cold for the rest of the movie.
On our way out the door, we see drunk boy apologizing to what we figured was his actual girlfriend, not sure where she was during the movie, as she tries to sober him enough to get him down the flight of stairs. .
After a fun night away from life, I returned to my crazy house. I am pretty sure my children are like hound dogs and have sniffed out my weakness this month and plotted against me. There have been attitudes and house wrecking flying left and right in my house. There was the Facebook pictures of the food dye incident. . Brand new box of food dye, and my children combined to paint a wall, tye-dye 2 dog cages and drip a clear path from the laundry room to the dining room wall. It's like follow the rainbow on my carpet. . Thank heavens we decided to get a steam cleaner with one of our housewarming presents. . Thanks Bob!!
JT has decided to be an artist, with my house as his canvas. Never having drawn on anything but paper he decided in one week to pin his sister on the floor and draw all over her body; back, stomach, face, legs. . you name it. A day or so later he tackled 2 of my living room walls with a red marker, the next day he got my bedroom. This time with permanent fabric marker. after deciding that mommy and daddy needed a headboard, he decorated our comforter. SWEET. Next came the paint. Having most of my craft supplies in a corner desk and drawer unit in my bedroom, we generally keep the door locked for my sanity and their safety. For some reason we have been slacking in that department and I should have learned my lesson after the markers, but of course I didn't. After completing the dishes without interruption I set off to find my children and whatever they had discovered, thinking my door was locked and like usual I would be finding them standing on bins somewhere in their toy room. . that was until I saw my door wide open and heard giggling. . damn.
A brand new large bottle of white acrylic paint is smeared on the side of my dresser, all over Ellie from head to toe, and she is eating a paint brush.Ellie still showing signs of food dye drips on her legs is becoming an awesome piece of work. JT immediately tries to hide between the dresser and wall, but cant fit, so just sticks his head in, in a moment of "if I can't see you, you can't see me: mentality. Luckily, and I better start knocking on wood and praying to Jesus. . they have not ruined anything.
Ian decided the weekend before Thanksgiving to chop down 2 of the trees in the front yard, had I known that poor tree was going down I might have let it get me. the second of now missing trees was a beautiful smoke tree. Granted it was placed inconveniently, taking up any area of the yard that might be usable as it sat so low to the ground, and was planted smack dab in the center of the house blocking our view of the street, it was a beautiful tree. Sadly Ian did not share my feelings and was unaware that I would have a pregnant meltdown outside after it was laying on the ground. His only response to his actions, and my unreasonable attachment to a tree was " we can plant more trees." He tries. . really he does.
My mom was wonderful enough to come over 2 times in the week and half before Thanksgiving to help me clear my house of clutter and get some things in order. I being the "Oh I can handle this" followed by meltdown lady that I am, decided to completely swap 2 rooms of my house 2 days prior to Thanksgiving. Why you ask? Well it seemed logical at the time. My sister needed more space, but as there was just no place to put the things that were crowding her room, and the children never used their playroom because they don't like to be upstairs without me, I figured that it would make sense to swap them. This would not only force me to rid the toy room of some toys since the space is smaller, but would hopefully keep it clean more since I can check in on them and make sure they are not getting into trouble. It would also force the pile of goodwill items to actually go to goodwill and the attic pile to make it to its final destination. All while giving my sister an actual closet and room to stretch her legs, and eventually put a bed.
Yeah I really did not anticipate it being that difficult. It seemed cut and dry. It wasn't. It was long and tiring and lots of up and down the stairs and I don't want to's. Finally though it was all coming together and Andrea came over to help out. She really is a fabulous friend. We went through some toys and got rid of an entire over-flowing bin of toys. We were even able to get the toy room in working order so that my nieces and nephews could play in there the next day. It's amazing. Now I just need to help my sister get settled in upstairs and we should be good to go.
My house by the way looked pretty darn good for our get together. Ian finished cleaning the yard, there was very little "just shove that there and I will deal with it later", and I even had enough time to get a birthday breakfast and fire. Ian did a great job of making up for the last few years of crappy birthdays by making this one fabulous. He even made it fabulous through the remainder of the weekend. I received a few foot rubs, back rubs, hunny I can get it's, and he cleaned up the house for me. I got a Birthday Card this year, major improvement, and he agreed to family portraits without a fight. He even cleaned up the entire box of baking soda the children decided to grace the dog cage with. I have to admit, it crossed my mind that he is sucking up to get the sheep skin slippers he has been asking for every year.
With November drawing to an end, and Christmas just around the corner I am sure there will be more craziness to follow. I did forget to mention a few things. My dear friend Katie had her baby. Cute as a button. Since we share a birthday a few of our friends came together to celebrate with us and it was a lot of fun. My Dad paid for me to have my hair done as a birthday present, which Andrea babysat for, she discovered the joys of watching stupid cartoons with a 3 year old and has a new found distaste for Curious George. . She feels he is not in fact curious but just a jerk. Ellie and JT have learned some new phrases. . Ellie now says Bieber Fever, nom nom nom and follows up the name Channing Tatum with the sound. . mmm mmm. JT has discovered sarcasm. When I told him he had to sit in time out until Daddy came home ( he was just around the corner) he looked me straight in the eye, raised his voice an octave or two and said " WHAAAAT?!?!"
He has also discovered logic and reasoning. Like his "I'll walk" comment after Daddy told him he could not run to me every time he did not like what he was told, he also made a clever conclusion when it came to getting in trouble. Ellie broke into 4 bottles of finger paint in the toy room. I blame Ian for not moving a bin out containing the paints and some nails and screws that I had asked him to get, he blames me for leaving it where the kids could get it in the first place.Touche. Either way it was a mess. In the process of cleaning up JT comes into the room, inquisitive as always. After we explain that we are cleaning up the mess we ask if he had anything to do with it. Ian immediately assumed since he had a smear of purple on his arm, but I defend him by saying there is paint everywhere and it's not on his hands. He could have rubbed against something. He takes one look at his sister who is pouting in time out, and looks his daddy straight in the face with a smirk across his lips and shakes his head. . "NOPE"
Ian informed him plausible deniablility will be out the door soon. . Ellie is getting really good at full sentences. Soon little guy she will be ratting you out. Enjoy it while you can.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Terrible pre- 2's
As many of you know I have always wanted 3 boys. My justification being that I wished to not deal with periods ( mine was a pain in the butt enough to deal with I don't need another one to worry about) or Barbie shoes, or hormones, or long hair, because Ian likes mine long and I do nothing with it except throw it in a ponytail and go, but I just don't think I can do the same for my daughters. All logical reasons for preferring boys who destroy stuff and get dirty.
God had another plan for me. I am not sure if Ellie is supposed to be a lesson in patience, or a lesson that you can't always get what you want. Either way, both are working.
Ellie Lorraine Thomas, she is the most adorable, quirky, lovable little girl I have ever met, full of little bits of personality strong enough to be a full grown lady, all packed into chunky thighs and wacky hair. Granted I am biased. She to date is 1 year 9 months and 13 days old. She has the largest attitude I have ever seen on a toddler. JT was so easy. The worst of his attitude consists of a fake cry on his way to time out, picking on his sister and a "mean face".
Oh brother is Ell Raine DIFFERENT!
She rolls her eyes, and even worse cuts them at me. For instance if she is told to "knock it off" when Daddy is not around she will cut her eyes at me and let out an exacerbated sigh. REALLY? She was unhappy with me the other day for telling her she was not allowed to do something, and she gave me a full blown eye roll. These have been going on for about 3-4 months now. She loves loves loves to pick on JT. She thinks it's hilarious to take whatever cup her brother has- the moment he is not looking- and with the largest grin she can conjure, take a nice long drink, always exactly long enough for him to notice, and then tuck said cup under her arm and run. The goal is making it to the laundry room where she will laugh and return it without an issue. If she does not make it that far, her capture is always announced abruptly with a blood curdling scream. Her squeal is just enough to induce migraines.
Nothing brings Ellie joy like hearing JT scream her name across the house in anger. Personally, I have to admit, it is amusing. He gets a little pink in the cheeks and balls up his fists. His whole little body tenses and he screams her name in his scruffy mad voice, followed by running in whatever direction she left with his stuff. Nose scrunched, lips curled back and angry as hell. It is at this moment that she starts to giggle uncontrollably, sometimes to the point of tripping herself and running into things.
Now that JT is getting older he feels the need to lecture her. This lead to one of the funniest sights of my parenting thus far, as I imagined myself and my older brother when we were teenagers. JT stood in the living room with his finger pointing at Ellie, tearing her a new one about how she should not touch his things. It was his cup and his toy and she is not allowed to do that. "wanna go to time-out? Need a fankin'?" (spanking) Ellie responded by putting her hand on her hip, rolling her eyes at him, turning on her heel and sighing. She marched half way across the room before turning back around to cut her eyes at him once more, and sealed the attitude sandwich with a " Go way"
Where does she even get this material? Holy crap is it hereditary? Oh no, she's not even 2 and I don't know how I am going to make it to teenagers. The best part is that she follows her attitude up with a big cheesy grin, a hug and when she gets in trouble she always responds with "yes ma'am." even to her Daddy.
Oh who are we kidding. Ian never yells at her. . She is Daddy's Little Princess. . . Oh God, It IS hereditary.
Welcome to adulthood. pt 1
There are a few things that I wish were at least mentioned before I became an adult. For instance how expensive milk is. I mean granted there would have been no way to warn me exactly how much milk 2 toddlers could consume, but its just one of those random things that throw you off guard in the store. . the American average for September 2012 is $3.47 a gallon, just FYI.
I decided that milk prices are just one of those insignificant subjects that would have been nice to be prepared for, and I decided that there needed to be a list (feel free to add) of others.
1. You will eventually get past the excitement of driving and rationalize not running errands so you don't have to drive 3 miles down the road.
2. Laundry is never ending, and once you get married, you get to do twice as much.
3. You will end up with more things in your house that you have no idea where they came from than you own as a teenager.
4. Not only do you pay for the water to come to your house, but you pay for it to leave too. . hmm, seems a little fishy to me
5. All the good cartoons stopped playing by the time you were 10. . All of today's have some sort of agenda. ( you can however find Dinosaurs on Netflix. just sayin' )
6. Power Rangers will still be around, and it will get worse. (there are currently 18 seasons if anyone cares to know)
7. Dust is made up of mostly dead skin cells. . . yeah. .
8. Your house will not be decorated anywhere near what you think it will.
9. After children you will at least once leave the house just so you can go to the bathroom without interruption.
10. Law and Order SVU marathons will still be happening. And you will find at least 1 episode each time that you have not seen yet. Not sure how it's possible but it is.
11. You will eventually run into an ex, and one of you will be wearing something stupid.
12. Everything you had to listen to in History, Civics and Government classes. . actually important. . Wish you would have paid attention now huh?
13. As cool of a parent you think you will be, as soon as you hear some young teenagers (or younger unfortunately) use filthy language, and obscene gestures in public, or wear shorts with less fabric than a pair of Boy short underwear, you will immediately turn into "one of those" parents. It will shock you and you will have an out of body experience, kind of like your grandmother just inhabited your body.
14. Food you used to like will no longer taste good, and food you used to hate will become favorites. .
15. You will never forget the words to Disney movies songs. . and you may even be caught humming them at inappropriate moments.
16. There is nothing in the world that will make you happier than the little moments with your child. The ones where they learn the words to their first song, or you catch them singing the ABC's while playing. The one's where they randomly walk up and hug your leg so hard you think you might fall over. These can never be replaced.
17. You will unwillingly know the theme song to very very dumb shows. . I'm just a kid whose 4, each day I grow some more. . .
18. Cooking. . . yeah. . . that's not really so fun all the time.
19. When you are suddenly smelling nail polish and you have not painted your nails in months. . be concerned, be very concerned.
20. Couch cushions are able to be repaired, laptop cords and chargers those cost a lot more. ( if you happen to be in the market for a laptop charger it's gonna cost you about $60 or more)
21. Laughing off some of your in-laws efforts to help is much better for your marriage than getting worked up over it. Especially when your husbands grandmother sends you advice on constipation once a month. .
22. Sometimes, even your children will get on your nerves.
23. Even after your children sleep through the night, your definition of a full nights sleep is completely different than it once was.
24. One day you will be standing in your kitchen and realize exactly what your father meant when he used to complain about your whining. It's incredibly annoying.
25. Sometimes your husband should just give in and let you set the tent up in the living room. . He really will need to discover a sense of adventure, or at least pretend adventure.
This is far from a comprehensive list, and feel free to add some of your own on the comments. . I would love to hear them! We will be doing more of these in the future.
I decided that milk prices are just one of those insignificant subjects that would have been nice to be prepared for, and I decided that there needed to be a list (feel free to add) of others.
1. You will eventually get past the excitement of driving and rationalize not running errands so you don't have to drive 3 miles down the road.
2. Laundry is never ending, and once you get married, you get to do twice as much.
3. You will end up with more things in your house that you have no idea where they came from than you own as a teenager.
4. Not only do you pay for the water to come to your house, but you pay for it to leave too. . hmm, seems a little fishy to me
5. All the good cartoons stopped playing by the time you were 10. . All of today's have some sort of agenda. ( you can however find Dinosaurs on Netflix. just sayin' )
6. Power Rangers will still be around, and it will get worse. (there are currently 18 seasons if anyone cares to know)
7. Dust is made up of mostly dead skin cells. . . yeah. .
8. Your house will not be decorated anywhere near what you think it will.
9. After children you will at least once leave the house just so you can go to the bathroom without interruption.
10. Law and Order SVU marathons will still be happening. And you will find at least 1 episode each time that you have not seen yet. Not sure how it's possible but it is.
11. You will eventually run into an ex, and one of you will be wearing something stupid.
12. Everything you had to listen to in History, Civics and Government classes. . actually important. . Wish you would have paid attention now huh?
13. As cool of a parent you think you will be, as soon as you hear some young teenagers (or younger unfortunately) use filthy language, and obscene gestures in public, or wear shorts with less fabric than a pair of Boy short underwear, you will immediately turn into "one of those" parents. It will shock you and you will have an out of body experience, kind of like your grandmother just inhabited your body.
14. Food you used to like will no longer taste good, and food you used to hate will become favorites. .
15. You will never forget the words to Disney movies songs. . and you may even be caught humming them at inappropriate moments.
16. There is nothing in the world that will make you happier than the little moments with your child. The ones where they learn the words to their first song, or you catch them singing the ABC's while playing. The one's where they randomly walk up and hug your leg so hard you think you might fall over. These can never be replaced.
17. You will unwillingly know the theme song to very very dumb shows. . I'm just a kid whose 4, each day I grow some more. . .
18. Cooking. . . yeah. . . that's not really so fun all the time.
19. When you are suddenly smelling nail polish and you have not painted your nails in months. . be concerned, be very concerned.
20. Couch cushions are able to be repaired, laptop cords and chargers those cost a lot more. ( if you happen to be in the market for a laptop charger it's gonna cost you about $60 or more)
21. Laughing off some of your in-laws efforts to help is much better for your marriage than getting worked up over it. Especially when your husbands grandmother sends you advice on constipation once a month. .
22. Sometimes, even your children will get on your nerves.
23. Even after your children sleep through the night, your definition of a full nights sleep is completely different than it once was.
24. One day you will be standing in your kitchen and realize exactly what your father meant when he used to complain about your whining. It's incredibly annoying.
25. Sometimes your husband should just give in and let you set the tent up in the living room. . He really will need to discover a sense of adventure, or at least pretend adventure.
This is far from a comprehensive list, and feel free to add some of your own on the comments. . I would love to hear them! We will be doing more of these in the future.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Pregnant humor
OK, call me crazy. I actually enjoy being pregnant. I know that with pregnancy comes nausea, and I get more than my fair share. I know that there are aches and pains, and after my hip separated too far and I could barely walk the last month of my pregnancy with Ellie, trust me I am fully aware of them. I know that there are headaches and food aversions (currently experiencing them for the first time) But after you put all the little annoyances aside you have to think about this.
There is a human being living inside of you. A tiny little person, with fingers and toes and eyes and a heart. And you are the vessel in which it has been chosen to grow. Nothing more beautiful can happen in life.
There are a million cool facts about being pregnant that absolutely amaze me. For instance: No 2 Fingerprints can be the same because they are formed on fingers and toes by the movements that each child makes while in the womb, starting, sometimes, as early as 6 weeks. There is the fact that the first sense a fetus develops is the sense of touch, which is why we respond emotionally the strongest to it. The areas to develop first are the most sensitive as adults, this is followed quickly by the sense of smell, which accounts for some of the excitement that a baby makes when certain foods or scents are around. Before birth a baby can perceive light and dark, can hear voices and music, can dream.
Then there are all the silly things that happen when you are pregnant. . like peeing yourself in public. . . guilty. Or, the interactions with strangers. I mean what other time in your life do complete strangers find it totally ok to walk up and touch you. . It's weird. I sometimes wonder how people would respond if I just randomly walked up and starting rubbing a mans stomach, or better. . . what if I just walked up and placed my hands on an old ladies face, looked her straight in the eye and said "Congrats for living to be ancient" I mean honestly. . who is ok with that??? I not only have no idea if you are one of those people who "forgets" to wash after using the bathroom, or if you have been sick recently, but also. . I am not sure what randomly touching a pregnant belly is supposed to do. . It's already growing. . no stoppin' it. . . why are you touching me? I LOVE the advice I get from people. like while I was pregnant with Ellie I would walk around somewhere and countless times get stopped to ask if my next baby was a boy or a girl. . After finding out that I was having a girl I would often here the following statement " Oh, wonderful. One of each. Now you can stop." I once responded to a group of 40 something women with "My goal is 12 boys. I am just going to keep going until I get them, this one doesn't even count" Admittedly I was a bit on the snarky side that day, and have not in fact admitted that to anyone until now. Not my best moment, but hey, hormones are fun like that.
I found this on Pinterest about 6 months ago and thought it was hilariously inappropriate. . Sort of like some of the things people say to you while you are pregnant, and how personal they can get.
I, being a sufferer of some pretty awful morning sickness have unfortunately been a source of amusement to my children so far this pregnancy. They have quite quickly picked up on the things that turn my stomach. For instance, poop. Having a toddler who is only partially potty trained I encounter that on a fairly regular basis. I manage to pass it off to anyone who is around pretty well, but sometimes there is just no way of getting around it. Both JT and Ellie start mimicking my loud and embarrassing gagging noise. Sometimes for fun they do it in unison while I am driving down the road and laugh hysterically. Much to nobodies surprise Ian finds it just as funny.
As with any mommy-to-be my favorite part is guessing what my baby will look like, will my baby be a boy or a girl, and what will they like. What will they dislike, what activities will they enjoy. What kind of stupid things can I make them wear and later blackmail them with. For instance pictures like these. .
There is a human being living inside of you. A tiny little person, with fingers and toes and eyes and a heart. And you are the vessel in which it has been chosen to grow. Nothing more beautiful can happen in life.
There are a million cool facts about being pregnant that absolutely amaze me. For instance: No 2 Fingerprints can be the same because they are formed on fingers and toes by the movements that each child makes while in the womb, starting, sometimes, as early as 6 weeks. There is the fact that the first sense a fetus develops is the sense of touch, which is why we respond emotionally the strongest to it. The areas to develop first are the most sensitive as adults, this is followed quickly by the sense of smell, which accounts for some of the excitement that a baby makes when certain foods or scents are around. Before birth a baby can perceive light and dark, can hear voices and music, can dream.
Then there are all the silly things that happen when you are pregnant. . like peeing yourself in public. . . guilty. Or, the interactions with strangers. I mean what other time in your life do complete strangers find it totally ok to walk up and touch you. . It's weird. I sometimes wonder how people would respond if I just randomly walked up and starting rubbing a mans stomach, or better. . . what if I just walked up and placed my hands on an old ladies face, looked her straight in the eye and said "Congrats for living to be ancient" I mean honestly. . who is ok with that??? I not only have no idea if you are one of those people who "forgets" to wash after using the bathroom, or if you have been sick recently, but also. . I am not sure what randomly touching a pregnant belly is supposed to do. . It's already growing. . no stoppin' it. . . why are you touching me? I LOVE the advice I get from people. like while I was pregnant with Ellie I would walk around somewhere and countless times get stopped to ask if my next baby was a boy or a girl. . After finding out that I was having a girl I would often here the following statement " Oh, wonderful. One of each. Now you can stop." I once responded to a group of 40 something women with "My goal is 12 boys. I am just going to keep going until I get them, this one doesn't even count" Admittedly I was a bit on the snarky side that day, and have not in fact admitted that to anyone until now. Not my best moment, but hey, hormones are fun like that.
I found this on Pinterest about 6 months ago and thought it was hilariously inappropriate. . Sort of like some of the things people say to you while you are pregnant, and how personal they can get.
I, being a sufferer of some pretty awful morning sickness have unfortunately been a source of amusement to my children so far this pregnancy. They have quite quickly picked up on the things that turn my stomach. For instance, poop. Having a toddler who is only partially potty trained I encounter that on a fairly regular basis. I manage to pass it off to anyone who is around pretty well, but sometimes there is just no way of getting around it. Both JT and Ellie start mimicking my loud and embarrassing gagging noise. Sometimes for fun they do it in unison while I am driving down the road and laugh hysterically. Much to nobodies surprise Ian finds it just as funny.
As with any mommy-to-be my favorite part is guessing what my baby will look like, will my baby be a boy or a girl, and what will they like. What will they dislike, what activities will they enjoy. What kind of stupid things can I make them wear and later blackmail them with. For instance pictures like these. .
But honestly, I am totally excited to be pregnant again. While looking forward to having some more energy again, I know that the beautiful baby inside of me will grow up to be an awesome kid that brings me immense joy and plenty of laughs.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Reha and the Doggie Police
Friday started out like any other potentially great and fantastic day. Sadly, that was short lived. Like any other Friday I went to clean for the family I clean for. Picked up JT and my sister from my mom's, where they stayed the night last night, and grabbed something to eat. On my way back we stopped at 5 and Below. . I ended up with the vacuum sealed storage bags. (don't be mad Courtney, I tried to resist.) I finally gave in and bought them after trying to convince myself to go back through and again get rid of some of the kids baby clothes since I made a deal with Ian that I would only save 1 tote worth for each child.. well they are both full. However he made no restrictions on how I could get said clothes in the bin and I feel that secretly I am cheating the system. It's all very thrilling if you are like me. . . with slight hoarder tendencies that I am actively resisting.. . except when it comes to baby clothes.. they are so little and they smell so good, and they are adorable. Don't judge!
Upon my return to my house I noticed something wrong. My front door was sitting slightly open. Who knows what's coming? I bet most of you do. Here. . I will even let you have a minute to think it over just in case you haven't figured it out yet.. .
Dun-dun Dun-dun Dun-dun DUN Dun-dun Dun-dun DUN Dun-dun Dun-dun..
Time up.
So after stepping inside with both children, my sister, and my friend Sarah who met us at the house, I immediately smell dirty diaper and rotten food. AWESOME. . Freakin escape artist. I honestly feel dread, pure anger, and amusement all at once. I mean should I consider signing Reha up as a rescue Dog? or just donate her to the circus? She can honestly get out of anything. Including her plastic crate. FABULOUS!
If any of you are vets, or vet techs I am in the market for Doggie Xanax. . .seriously.
I look in her crate and have no idea how she managed this one. The door is still latched at the top, and I can't for the life of me figure out how this big OAF of a dog maneuvered out of a partially latched door. . but in the process she knocked Cookies crate over. Honestly amusing, because Cookie is not only antsy because she wants to go to the bathroom, but every time she moves it rocks her crate back and forth. LOL
After realizing Reha is not in the house I open the door and head for the neighbors. You know the nice lady 2 doors down who occasionally rescues Reha and throws her in the back yard.. . and then a sight at the end of the street stops me. .
ANIMAL CONTROL
with Reha climbing in. WELL S**T this is not going to go over well.
Reha apparently decided to chase an outdoor cat. . Right into a culvert pipe (the metal pipes that are under ditches etc.) where she conveniently got stuck. The owner of the cat decided to call animal control. We will not be making friends anytime soon. I will NOT be baking them Christmas cookies.
Screaming down the road like an idiot hoping they can hear me I let them know that the A-hole dog they are holding in fact belongs to me. Then I got 50 questioned about her health. She currently has a few spots of missing fur on her side from over scratching, as a result of fleas. We have treated the yard and the animals and the house and have resulted to calling in the experts because these darn things come back every time we think we have finally gotten rid of them with a new spray or method or steam cleaning or tearing the house apart with the vacuum. If you know me at all, you know that none of my animals are starved for anything. They are all well fed, well cared for and completely loved. And being accused of keeping an "unsterile environment" and "not properly feeding" my dogs is extremely offensive. I exercised great restraint by not letting the wonderful man standing in front of me where he could go with his notions.
After bringing her home and putting her inside I was granted not just one but 3 summons to appear in court later this month. The first, for failing to keep my dog on my property, the second, for being unable to produce either of my dogs rabies vaccination papers... I am pretty awful about paperwork... my "filing system" consists of a basket on the table. . . it has any bill or important document I may need in it. Yeah, I know, not a great system. . I am working on it, ok? The third of which was for failing to register either of my animals in Spotsylvania county. WHICH, by the way I think is OUTRAGEOUS!
Needless to say there have been a few discussions since our lovely Doggie Police visit and Reha is officially sporting her shock collar again. It is getting lots of use, and we have agreed to both be more diligent about her behavior.All of this happens on the last day of the week that consisted of returning to town at 3:45 am on Monday, a severe lack of sleep, a rough week in the world of my sister, Ellie repeating me when I was in pain and dropping the "F" bomb, and lots and lots of errand running, and another one of my Victoria Secret bras meeting the ultimate fate that is Reha's stomach. I am determined that next week will be better. I am sure of it. Mainly because I know that God would not subject me to 2 fun filled weeks like this in a row. To top off my lovely Friday I get a phone call from my dad saying that I received another summons on his door. This one thankfully I already was prepared for, but did not save me from a half heart attack and the compulsion to slam my head against the steering wheel repeatedly. . The smug lawyer from my VCU collections case ( the one where they failed to file my paperwork properly and are charging me for a semester of classes I never attended) which I won by the way!!! Is appealing my case. I have to be back in court in December for that one. I plan on being uber prepared and a lot less nervous this time around.
Either way, we could use some of those positive thoughts you guys love to send us! Love you guys. Thanks for being such awesome loyal readers. Stay tuned.. there is some big news coming your way very soon!
Upon my return to my house I noticed something wrong. My front door was sitting slightly open. Who knows what's coming? I bet most of you do. Here. . I will even let you have a minute to think it over just in case you haven't figured it out yet.. .
Dun-dun Dun-dun Dun-dun DUN Dun-dun Dun-dun DUN Dun-dun Dun-dun..
Time up.
So after stepping inside with both children, my sister, and my friend Sarah who met us at the house, I immediately smell dirty diaper and rotten food. AWESOME. . Freakin escape artist. I honestly feel dread, pure anger, and amusement all at once. I mean should I consider signing Reha up as a rescue Dog? or just donate her to the circus? She can honestly get out of anything. Including her plastic crate. FABULOUS!
If any of you are vets, or vet techs I am in the market for Doggie Xanax. . .seriously.
I look in her crate and have no idea how she managed this one. The door is still latched at the top, and I can't for the life of me figure out how this big OAF of a dog maneuvered out of a partially latched door. . but in the process she knocked Cookies crate over. Honestly amusing, because Cookie is not only antsy because she wants to go to the bathroom, but every time she moves it rocks her crate back and forth. LOL
After realizing Reha is not in the house I open the door and head for the neighbors. You know the nice lady 2 doors down who occasionally rescues Reha and throws her in the back yard.. . and then a sight at the end of the street stops me. .
ANIMAL CONTROL
with Reha climbing in. WELL S**T this is not going to go over well.
Reha apparently decided to chase an outdoor cat. . Right into a culvert pipe (the metal pipes that are under ditches etc.) where she conveniently got stuck. The owner of the cat decided to call animal control. We will not be making friends anytime soon. I will NOT be baking them Christmas cookies.
Screaming down the road like an idiot hoping they can hear me I let them know that the A-hole dog they are holding in fact belongs to me. Then I got 50 questioned about her health. She currently has a few spots of missing fur on her side from over scratching, as a result of fleas. We have treated the yard and the animals and the house and have resulted to calling in the experts because these darn things come back every time we think we have finally gotten rid of them with a new spray or method or steam cleaning or tearing the house apart with the vacuum. If you know me at all, you know that none of my animals are starved for anything. They are all well fed, well cared for and completely loved. And being accused of keeping an "unsterile environment" and "not properly feeding" my dogs is extremely offensive. I exercised great restraint by not letting the wonderful man standing in front of me where he could go with his notions.
After bringing her home and putting her inside I was granted not just one but 3 summons to appear in court later this month. The first, for failing to keep my dog on my property, the second, for being unable to produce either of my dogs rabies vaccination papers... I am pretty awful about paperwork... my "filing system" consists of a basket on the table. . . it has any bill or important document I may need in it. Yeah, I know, not a great system. . I am working on it, ok? The third of which was for failing to register either of my animals in Spotsylvania county. WHICH, by the way I think is OUTRAGEOUS!
Needless to say there have been a few discussions since our lovely Doggie Police visit and Reha is officially sporting her shock collar again. It is getting lots of use, and we have agreed to both be more diligent about her behavior.All of this happens on the last day of the week that consisted of returning to town at 3:45 am on Monday, a severe lack of sleep, a rough week in the world of my sister, Ellie repeating me when I was in pain and dropping the "F" bomb, and lots and lots of errand running, and another one of my Victoria Secret bras meeting the ultimate fate that is Reha's stomach. I am determined that next week will be better. I am sure of it. Mainly because I know that God would not subject me to 2 fun filled weeks like this in a row. To top off my lovely Friday I get a phone call from my dad saying that I received another summons on his door. This one thankfully I already was prepared for, but did not save me from a half heart attack and the compulsion to slam my head against the steering wheel repeatedly. . The smug lawyer from my VCU collections case ( the one where they failed to file my paperwork properly and are charging me for a semester of classes I never attended) which I won by the way!!! Is appealing my case. I have to be back in court in December for that one. I plan on being uber prepared and a lot less nervous this time around.
Either way, we could use some of those positive thoughts you guys love to send us! Love you guys. Thanks for being such awesome loyal readers. Stay tuned.. there is some big news coming your way very soon!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
In the mind of Ellie
I would love to understand what is going on inside little minds. I mean honestly what do my children think about? What do babies dream? What on EARTH goes through my Dobermans head when she does some of the stupid things she does?
This week one mind in particular is intriguing to me. . Ellie's.
In the last few weeks she has had a vocabulary explosion. There are so many new words and phrases... For instance, on our way out the door 2 weekends ago for the Color Run in Richmond at 6 am, Ellie knocked over a 6ft folding table that was leaning against the wall in my hallway for later that night. Not sure how to respond at first she looked at me, then Ian and finally my mother in law. With all of us returning her empty stare patiently waiting to see what she would do, she gasps very loudly, drops her jaw, points and says.. "WOW, did you just see that?!"
We could do nothing but laugh at her as she continued out the door looking back several times.
A few of her other learned phrases or words consist of ; yogurt, diaper, I did, want, sandwich, yeah, don't want it, ew gross, Reha, dresses, wanna come, Kaiser (the neighbors German Shepard and the only thing I have found that she is scared of) outside, don't touch, mine, come here, bath, teeth, hold me, window down as well as a few others. Obviously not all of which are as clear as they will be one day, but for the most part audible and to more than just me.
She was standing in my room this morning around 5 am after being awoken by who knows what. In the dim lighting of my bedroom she notices some trash on the floor, some sort of ripped paper or wrapper, and bends down makes a very clear tisking noise and puts her hand on her hips and says "bad Reha" and walks over to smack the dog. Clearly she is noticing a pattern of Reha's recent misbehavior, and understands that Reha gets disciplined the same way they do. Although for Reha time outs last a bit longer and are in a cage, she does get smacked when she deliberately does things she knows not to do. . for instance tearing my sister's bra to shreds, or pooping in the middle of the toy room immediately after coming inside. But what amazes me the most is the clear connection in her little mind that any mess is Reha's fault.
Prime Example. This evening Ellie attempted to walk up the stairs while holding a McDonalds childrens cup of tea. When her efforts failed and she spilled her drink on 3 different stairs my sister started talking to her about it. She looked down and said "look, Reha did it."
Either she really believes that Reha is capable of making messes even when out of sight, or she is getting really good at the age of 1 and a half at weiseling her way out of trouble. Either way I feel that there is a conversation ahead for this little one. . . and it involves taking responsibility for your actions. .
She has also mastered the fine art of repeating words and phrases, while fun for me now, since I can make her say silly things, and get her to sweet talk her daddy for me, it also brings a bit of trouble with it, as my sister is not as awesome at curtailing certain words from audible levels as I am. This resulted in Ellie and JT both screaming "AH TITS" the other day. In all honesty I had to walk away, I could not allow them to see my obvious laughter and encourage that phrase.
So as a family we are back to watching our language (we were slipping) and laughing at Ellie's mental conections. I am hoping that she grows out of her own mischief stage soon though. She learned that her brother does not like to be growled at, and that it really irritates Mommy when she empties the bins that I just filled. In the meantime excuse the extra mess and the squeeling children.
This week one mind in particular is intriguing to me. . Ellie's.
In the last few weeks she has had a vocabulary explosion. There are so many new words and phrases... For instance, on our way out the door 2 weekends ago for the Color Run in Richmond at 6 am, Ellie knocked over a 6ft folding table that was leaning against the wall in my hallway for later that night. Not sure how to respond at first she looked at me, then Ian and finally my mother in law. With all of us returning her empty stare patiently waiting to see what she would do, she gasps very loudly, drops her jaw, points and says.. "WOW, did you just see that?!"
We could do nothing but laugh at her as she continued out the door looking back several times.
A few of her other learned phrases or words consist of ; yogurt, diaper, I did, want, sandwich, yeah, don't want it, ew gross, Reha, dresses, wanna come, Kaiser (the neighbors German Shepard and the only thing I have found that she is scared of) outside, don't touch, mine, come here, bath, teeth, hold me, window down as well as a few others. Obviously not all of which are as clear as they will be one day, but for the most part audible and to more than just me.
She was standing in my room this morning around 5 am after being awoken by who knows what. In the dim lighting of my bedroom she notices some trash on the floor, some sort of ripped paper or wrapper, and bends down makes a very clear tisking noise and puts her hand on her hips and says "bad Reha" and walks over to smack the dog. Clearly she is noticing a pattern of Reha's recent misbehavior, and understands that Reha gets disciplined the same way they do. Although for Reha time outs last a bit longer and are in a cage, she does get smacked when she deliberately does things she knows not to do. . for instance tearing my sister's bra to shreds, or pooping in the middle of the toy room immediately after coming inside. But what amazes me the most is the clear connection in her little mind that any mess is Reha's fault.
Prime Example. This evening Ellie attempted to walk up the stairs while holding a McDonalds childrens cup of tea. When her efforts failed and she spilled her drink on 3 different stairs my sister started talking to her about it. She looked down and said "look, Reha did it."
Either she really believes that Reha is capable of making messes even when out of sight, or she is getting really good at the age of 1 and a half at weiseling her way out of trouble. Either way I feel that there is a conversation ahead for this little one. . . and it involves taking responsibility for your actions. .
She has also mastered the fine art of repeating words and phrases, while fun for me now, since I can make her say silly things, and get her to sweet talk her daddy for me, it also brings a bit of trouble with it, as my sister is not as awesome at curtailing certain words from audible levels as I am. This resulted in Ellie and JT both screaming "AH TITS" the other day. In all honesty I had to walk away, I could not allow them to see my obvious laughter and encourage that phrase.
So as a family we are back to watching our language (we were slipping) and laughing at Ellie's mental conections. I am hoping that she grows out of her own mischief stage soon though. She learned that her brother does not like to be growled at, and that it really irritates Mommy when she empties the bins that I just filled. In the meantime excuse the extra mess and the squeeling children.
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