Clearly God has a sense of humor. I have known this for years, as often I have tried to do something, only for it to turn out totally wrong.. For instance. . . My best friend was raised by her grandmother. Memaw was the type of woman who did not even check the mail without her hair and makeup done. Story has it that when her daughter was in labor with my friend, Memaw took the time to curl her hair before driving her to the hospital.
I drove home from college in a middle of the night rush the day before she passed away. In that rush I conveniently forgot to pack any pants. I stuck around for the funeral, and therefore needed to buy something nice to wear. I bought this really cute black skirt that she would have loved, I matched it with a plain top and a pair of sequined slip ons. After the funeral we went to the cemetery, where my dad started to giggle and handed me his suit jacket. Confused, I took it as he whispered in my ear that the skirt of choice for that day was completely see through, and the entire packed funeral home had seen my rear end. Memaw did request that something funny happen at her funeral, lucky for me I was her target.
Today I prayed for patience. Not sure why but mine was slipping pretty close to the line of downright pissed off and needing to scream. In an effort to not turn into the worlds worst mother ( obviously I can't be that bad, my kids are still alive but hormones have a way of making you think some pretty awful things about yourself ) I have sent my children in the other room and googled Fat Amy video clips. I have heard however that when asking God for Patience what you are really asking for is practice, so you can learn to handle it on your own. That is just what I got today.
My children have screamed and cried and thrown fits. They have pretended not to know things they clearly know, and not to hear things they clearly heard and just ignored. Thankfully there were no potty accidents today, but there were a few slipped bad words ( on their part, not even mine! ) they have had a few knock down fights over a balloon, lots of running in the house and not doing what they are supposed to. Here are a few highlight of my day.
-Ellie decided that rather than eat her yogurt that she literally knocked her brother to the ground over, she would instead take it and fingerpaint the walls and my table.
- JT decided he would conveniently forget how to count. After knowing how to count to at least 10 and most of the time 20 for over a year, today he no longer knows what the number 3 is, or that 6 and 7 come before 8 not after 10.
- Since I was apparently not quick enough at getting my children a drink, I walked into the kitchen to find them taking turns drinking out of a 2 litre of orange soda.
- After being told repeatedly to go in the toy room and clean up the toys, Ellie strolls out of the toy room in nothing but a superhero cape. I have yet to find out where her underwear went, although I located her shirt and pants. She refuses to put any of it back on and therefore is running around completely naked at this point.
- Both of my children, who know fully well that they are not allowed to take the cushions off the couch and jump on them, have been caught numerous times doing just that as soon as I leave the room, including as I type this. I give in.
- I couldnt figure out where Ellie kept getting paper towels since she cant reach the roll, until I found her digging them out of the trash and dipping them in the dog water.
- Both of the kids have found that Porter's carseat is a great place to hide from each other, and since with the base attached it is quite heavy for me to carry up the stairs it sits off to the side of the living room.
- I learned today that Reha is in fact ok with the children attempting to ride her. I have heard the term "Giddie Up Horsie" at least 50 times today. Doberman, Horse.. apparently all the same to toddlers.
I have surrendered. I shall make dinner, dip into the candy stash that I hid from my entire house, and watch something with Adam Sandler in it tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, and if my children happen to be in the same mood I may end up screaming... or locking them in their rooms and watching terrible television. Nothing makes you feel better about your life like an episode of Maury.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
a little observation
WOW. I don't even know where to start here. When did sharing your opinion become such a crime? Where is all this hate even coming from? Over the last few days I have silently followed many posts on the matter of Gay Rights and Gun Control. I have kept my opinion out of it, while I do have one I am not really in the mood to defend myself so publicly. I would be happy to have a one on one conversation with anyone about it, but as I have witnessed, making a social media declaration has lead to a lot of harsh words and immaturity.
Firstly, I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that it does not have to be the same as mine. I think that everyone sees things differently, and that is what makes us individuals. That is why we must learn tolerance and love. Does your best friend, your father, your spouse etc. think the exact same thing as you on every subject? NO silly, you would be clones, not real people. I would not like it if someone told me that my opinion is wrong because its an opinion, just as you would be equally offended if the same were said to you. Obviously from some of the strong reactions I have witnessed.
Secondly, have you ever heard the saying "If you can't say anything nice, than don't say anything at all?" Don't get me wrong, I think you should be able to voice your opinion the same as anyone else, but there is a line.. and a not so thin one either, between voicing your opinion and looking like an idiot. Don't attack someone else for seeing things differently. Don't resort to name calling and childish behavior and arguments, especially when it is right there for hundred of people to observe. This does not convince anyone to agree with you, it just makes you look like you are 12. Be an adult. You are one in age ( at least most of you) be one in action.
Thirdly, Social Media is meant to share your daily ins and outs, pictures, things you support etc. If you don't even like someone in real life WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THEM ON FACEBOOK? It's simple. Either don't accept their friendship (or request them as a friend) and if you have already done so sadistically, go to their page and unclick the box that says "Friends". It's done and you don't have to read about their lives or share yours with them. This will not however prevent them from seeing your comments on mutual friends pages.. sorry for the elementary explanation of this, but apparently it was over the heads of a few people today.
I am a lover of all people, and it takes a lot for me to dislike someone. I appreciate everyone's input and I respect the rights of others to say and do as they please, just as I expect them to respect that it is my right to do so. If you feel someone is wrong, by all means speak your mind..I am not asking that you agree with everyone, but remember that doing so does not mean that you have to turn to terrible language, insults and brainless accusations,you don't have to agree to be civil and respectful, . I would really like to think that none of my friends --- in everyday life or on Facebook--- are child molesters, rapists or into beastiality.. YET... according to Facebook today I know at least 8 of them. WHAT?!?!?
Come on people.. grow a brain, and I am not referring to anything off of the movie Waiting... I know where some of your minds are... I have seen your posts too.
Firstly, I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that it does not have to be the same as mine. I think that everyone sees things differently, and that is what makes us individuals. That is why we must learn tolerance and love. Does your best friend, your father, your spouse etc. think the exact same thing as you on every subject? NO silly, you would be clones, not real people. I would not like it if someone told me that my opinion is wrong because its an opinion, just as you would be equally offended if the same were said to you. Obviously from some of the strong reactions I have witnessed.
Secondly, have you ever heard the saying "If you can't say anything nice, than don't say anything at all?" Don't get me wrong, I think you should be able to voice your opinion the same as anyone else, but there is a line.. and a not so thin one either, between voicing your opinion and looking like an idiot. Don't attack someone else for seeing things differently. Don't resort to name calling and childish behavior and arguments, especially when it is right there for hundred of people to observe. This does not convince anyone to agree with you, it just makes you look like you are 12. Be an adult. You are one in age ( at least most of you) be one in action.
Thirdly, Social Media is meant to share your daily ins and outs, pictures, things you support etc. If you don't even like someone in real life WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THEM ON FACEBOOK? It's simple. Either don't accept their friendship (or request them as a friend) and if you have already done so sadistically, go to their page and unclick the box that says "Friends". It's done and you don't have to read about their lives or share yours with them. This will not however prevent them from seeing your comments on mutual friends pages.. sorry for the elementary explanation of this, but apparently it was over the heads of a few people today.
I am a lover of all people, and it takes a lot for me to dislike someone. I appreciate everyone's input and I respect the rights of others to say and do as they please, just as I expect them to respect that it is my right to do so. If you feel someone is wrong, by all means speak your mind..I am not asking that you agree with everyone, but remember that doing so does not mean that you have to turn to terrible language, insults and brainless accusations,you don't have to agree to be civil and respectful, . I would really like to think that none of my friends --- in everyday life or on Facebook--- are child molesters, rapists or into beastiality.. YET... according to Facebook today I know at least 8 of them. WHAT?!?!?
Come on people.. grow a brain, and I am not referring to anything off of the movie Waiting... I know where some of your minds are... I have seen your posts too.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
My Lesson Plan for Parenting.
The closer I get to delivering baby #3 the further I fall in love with #1 and #2. I didn't think it was possible for my heart to grow any larger for them than it already was, especially with all of my other organs currently misplaced and short on space. I was wrong.
Every day they grow more. They are using full sentences and talking clearly. Ellie is officially potty trained and I don't have to follow behind her every few minutes to make sure she is not peeing on the steps... or pooping in the kitchen... again. The faster they grow the more I realize that there are so many things that I have to teach them. They need to know a million things about the world, and with each day that passes they come closer and closer to experiencing life for themselves.
I both fear and anticipate the day that they get to go off and meet the world, the real world, with their own eyes and minds, but before they can do that there are some very important things they need to know.
1. Nothing you can do will ever make me love you less. You are going to make mistakes, you will hurt me and disappoint me, I will heal and I will always be your Mommy.
2. Be kind to others. This sounds cliche, but its not. It's important to be kind and loving. It's important not to hurt others, they will be hurt enough by the world, don't add to their pain, take away from it.
3. Never be a bully. Never point out someones flaws and use it to hurt them. You too are flawed. You are not any better than them, and God does not want you to judge anyone. That is for Him and Him alone. You should stand up for anyone being picked on, even if it places you in the line of fire.
4. You are Beautiful just the way God made you and I grew you. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body, and accentuating your beauty, but nothing about you needs to be removed or enlarged. Do not hide your individual beauty from the world. (unless it is in an inappropriate place, in which case you should save that for your spouse.)
5. Your father and I are not naive. We too have done things that we are not proud of, things we knew were wrong and things we thought we got away with and didn't. That does not mean that we will be the types of parents to let you get away with whatever. You will have rules, and we will have standards. If you fail to abide by them there will be consequences.
6. Use your manners. Please, Thankyou, Bless You, Excuse Me, Sorry, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir etc. These are not only polite, but contagious. In a world of rude and disrespectful people it will not only make you stand out as a good person, but using your manners will distinguish you from people with little character.
7. Be an honest person. Nobody likes to be lied to, and if you lie to others, you open the door to be lied to. Be honest and never allow someone to believe something that you know not to be true. Lying by omission is lying.
8. It does not matter what others are doing, it matters that you do what you feel is the right thing to do. You will feel pressure to do and say things that you know are wrong, things that you know we would not approve of. Doing these things anyways will only result in you feeling badly about yourself and will not lead down any path that you will want to take.
9. Have a positive self image. Having struggled for years I speak from experience when I say that not only does self hatred lead you to make poor decisions, but it changes who you are on the inside. It makes you less attractive to others, it leaves behind negativity and negativity duplicates itself without your permission. You should never allow something like that to take hold in your heart.
10. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Your feelings and opinions matter. Don't ever let someone tell you that they don't.
11. Cleaning up after yourself may be annoying and unpleasant, but cleaning up after someone else is even worse. Learn to take care of that at an early age so it becomes habit, trying to teach yourself later in life is really hard.
12. Take care of the things that you have. It does not matter if it was cheap or expensive, given to you or you paid for it. Take pride in having nice things, and caring for the things you have. If you don't you will end up with nothing.
13. Spend time with your family whenever you get the chance. They are important, and they may not always be here. Cherish the time you have with them. Make memories together and never blow them off for no reason. Sleep can wait, your friends can wait, television is not that important.
14. Technology is wonderful, but it does not replace quality time. You still need to make eye contact, have in person conversations, and pay attention. Turn the TV off, put the cell phone away and turn off the games. They will wait.
15. Respect your elders. You don't really need a reason, just do it.
16. Don't rush to grow up. You are not going to miss out on anything by staying a child a little longer, but you will miss out if you decide you don't want to be one anymore. I know how hard it is to wait for things, but trust me, anything worth having is worth waiting for.
17. Take the nap. One day you will wish you had, like me. But instead you will be awake with your 3 year old who refuses to take one wondering why you ever wanted to skip nap time when you were his age. You are keeping me from napping... just take the nap!
18. It's ok to get messy. As long as you are not wearing your nice clothes and we are not on the way out the door. Play outside, touch dirt, get paint in your hair and play in the rain. I am not telling you to eat other peoples gum off the ground or anything, but don't be afraid of a little dirt.
19. Be gentle to animals. They can not tell you what they have been through. They deserve love and respect just like humans. Never torture or intentionally hurt an animal. It is not funny, it is cruel. They have memories and pain just like we do.
20. Always keep your word. If you make a promise you stand by it. If for some reason you can't you make sure that there is a good reason, and that you are honest and forthcoming about it.
21. Try your best, but it is ok to fail. You are not always going to be the winner. You will not always be the best. Sometimes you may come dead last, but as long as you put forth every effort you could, it was good enough. Try again. There is no shame in taking more than one shot at something. The only shame to be had is in giving up. That is when you become a failure.
22. Try new things. Do things you don't want to. You will be surprised to find there are things you really like that you never would have thought you would. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. It will grow you as a person and make you more relateable and approachable.
23. Laugh often. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others. Laugh at life's little moments. Nobody likes someone who is always serious, and laughing is good for your soul.
24. It is ok to cry. The world is an emotional place. Do not be ashamed to show your emotions to others, but do not allow them to rule you either. Find a happy medium, and remember logic when making decisions.
25. Love whole heartedly. It's important to give your heart away, but that does not mean that everyone you give it to will be gentle with it, or worthy of it. Don't allow fear of being hurt stop you from loving life and loving others.
26. It is important to share. Share what you have with those who have less. Share with your friends, Share the word of God, share your possessions and share your joy.
27. Life will hurt you. When it does I will be here. I may not be happy about your decisions, I may not agree with you. I will not tell you what you want to hear in order to spare your feelings, but I will Always Always Always hold out my arms to you and hold you until it stops hurting.
28. You will always be my little babies. JT, you are my first born, to me you will always be my handsome. When you are a man I will still look in your eyes and see the day that my world changed. The day that I stopped being Stacey and became Mommy. To me your eyes will always belong to a 6lb 15 oz blonde haired, blue eyed baby boy. Ellie, I am sure that you will test my patience more as an adult than you do as a toddler, but there will never be a day that you will not be my little girl. I will want to protect you and smother you with love and advice until the day I die. I will do my best to keep your Daddy from running off every boyfriend you ever have, but I make no promises. Dont hold either of these against me. It is how I am designed and one day you will understand.
29. One day you will be grown and getting married. When that day comes I hope you remember that relationships are not easy. They take a lot more work than you are expecting and there will be days when you want to give up. A marriage is a commitment that you make, and if you are both willing than no matter how hard things get you can make it. No love is perfect. No person is perfect. Your father and I have had our good share of rough days and we have only been together for 7 years. I can only imagine that there will be more in the years before you read this. If you give yourself a way out, its always an option. Human nature is to take the easy road.
30. You will never understand why I say the things I say, and do the things I do until you become a parent. Your whole world changes in the blink of an eye and suddenly you will realize that so many things make sense. Your hearts will grow and your views will change. I expect us to fight and disagree, just as I did with your grandpa.
31. Never forget that I am proud of you. I was proud of your first steps and your first laughs. Proud of you as you learn and proud of you as you grow. You will never have to do something monumental in order to impress me. The only thing I want from you is for you to be a good person and to be happy. That alone will make me proud.
32. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. They would be lying. You can do whatever you want to do. You can be whatever it is that you wish. I hope that those things are good things, but be prepared that doing good takes more effort than the bad.
33. Be curious about the world. Ask questions, and don't allow others to keep knowledge away from you. If something feels wrong, it usually is. Know what you are getting into, because ignorance is not always bliss.
34. Do not allow money to buy your happiness or your loyalty.
35. You are in control of your actions, your emotions and your life. Only you can make decisions for yourself. Chose to be happy. Chose to be kind. Chose to be good. Chose to be trustworthy and friendly, to be outgoing and exploratory, to be faithful and serving, to be a survivor and never a victim, to be a positive person and to believe in yourself and others. Chose to LIVE and not let life pass you by worrying about what others think say and do.
I know there will be more that I need to say. More that I need to teach. I hope to do so in a manner so that they will remember. So that they will listen. I wish I had, rather than being so stubborn. There is nothing in my past that I regret. I am happy with who I am today and I know that all of my past experiences have shaped and molded me. I do however hope to spare my children from some of the messes that I had to clean up, and the awful feeling it is to know that you are the reason for someone else's pain. In time they will know all of these things, and more, but for now I can relax knowing that I still have time where they really are just my babies. That I can rock them, hold them, kiss away the boo-boos and distract them when I need to. I just wish time moved as slowly watching them as it did when I was in gym class in high school.
Every day they grow more. They are using full sentences and talking clearly. Ellie is officially potty trained and I don't have to follow behind her every few minutes to make sure she is not peeing on the steps... or pooping in the kitchen... again. The faster they grow the more I realize that there are so many things that I have to teach them. They need to know a million things about the world, and with each day that passes they come closer and closer to experiencing life for themselves.
I both fear and anticipate the day that they get to go off and meet the world, the real world, with their own eyes and minds, but before they can do that there are some very important things they need to know.
1. Nothing you can do will ever make me love you less. You are going to make mistakes, you will hurt me and disappoint me, I will heal and I will always be your Mommy.
2. Be kind to others. This sounds cliche, but its not. It's important to be kind and loving. It's important not to hurt others, they will be hurt enough by the world, don't add to their pain, take away from it.
3. Never be a bully. Never point out someones flaws and use it to hurt them. You too are flawed. You are not any better than them, and God does not want you to judge anyone. That is for Him and Him alone. You should stand up for anyone being picked on, even if it places you in the line of fire.
4. You are Beautiful just the way God made you and I grew you. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body, and accentuating your beauty, but nothing about you needs to be removed or enlarged. Do not hide your individual beauty from the world. (unless it is in an inappropriate place, in which case you should save that for your spouse.)
5. Your father and I are not naive. We too have done things that we are not proud of, things we knew were wrong and things we thought we got away with and didn't. That does not mean that we will be the types of parents to let you get away with whatever. You will have rules, and we will have standards. If you fail to abide by them there will be consequences.
6. Use your manners. Please, Thankyou, Bless You, Excuse Me, Sorry, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir etc. These are not only polite, but contagious. In a world of rude and disrespectful people it will not only make you stand out as a good person, but using your manners will distinguish you from people with little character.
7. Be an honest person. Nobody likes to be lied to, and if you lie to others, you open the door to be lied to. Be honest and never allow someone to believe something that you know not to be true. Lying by omission is lying.
8. It does not matter what others are doing, it matters that you do what you feel is the right thing to do. You will feel pressure to do and say things that you know are wrong, things that you know we would not approve of. Doing these things anyways will only result in you feeling badly about yourself and will not lead down any path that you will want to take.
9. Have a positive self image. Having struggled for years I speak from experience when I say that not only does self hatred lead you to make poor decisions, but it changes who you are on the inside. It makes you less attractive to others, it leaves behind negativity and negativity duplicates itself without your permission. You should never allow something like that to take hold in your heart.
10. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Your feelings and opinions matter. Don't ever let someone tell you that they don't.
11. Cleaning up after yourself may be annoying and unpleasant, but cleaning up after someone else is even worse. Learn to take care of that at an early age so it becomes habit, trying to teach yourself later in life is really hard.
12. Take care of the things that you have. It does not matter if it was cheap or expensive, given to you or you paid for it. Take pride in having nice things, and caring for the things you have. If you don't you will end up with nothing.
13. Spend time with your family whenever you get the chance. They are important, and they may not always be here. Cherish the time you have with them. Make memories together and never blow them off for no reason. Sleep can wait, your friends can wait, television is not that important.
14. Technology is wonderful, but it does not replace quality time. You still need to make eye contact, have in person conversations, and pay attention. Turn the TV off, put the cell phone away and turn off the games. They will wait.
15. Respect your elders. You don't really need a reason, just do it.
16. Don't rush to grow up. You are not going to miss out on anything by staying a child a little longer, but you will miss out if you decide you don't want to be one anymore. I know how hard it is to wait for things, but trust me, anything worth having is worth waiting for.
17. Take the nap. One day you will wish you had, like me. But instead you will be awake with your 3 year old who refuses to take one wondering why you ever wanted to skip nap time when you were his age. You are keeping me from napping... just take the nap!
18. It's ok to get messy. As long as you are not wearing your nice clothes and we are not on the way out the door. Play outside, touch dirt, get paint in your hair and play in the rain. I am not telling you to eat other peoples gum off the ground or anything, but don't be afraid of a little dirt.
19. Be gentle to animals. They can not tell you what they have been through. They deserve love and respect just like humans. Never torture or intentionally hurt an animal. It is not funny, it is cruel. They have memories and pain just like we do.
20. Always keep your word. If you make a promise you stand by it. If for some reason you can't you make sure that there is a good reason, and that you are honest and forthcoming about it.
21. Try your best, but it is ok to fail. You are not always going to be the winner. You will not always be the best. Sometimes you may come dead last, but as long as you put forth every effort you could, it was good enough. Try again. There is no shame in taking more than one shot at something. The only shame to be had is in giving up. That is when you become a failure.
22. Try new things. Do things you don't want to. You will be surprised to find there are things you really like that you never would have thought you would. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. It will grow you as a person and make you more relateable and approachable.
23. Laugh often. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others. Laugh at life's little moments. Nobody likes someone who is always serious, and laughing is good for your soul.
24. It is ok to cry. The world is an emotional place. Do not be ashamed to show your emotions to others, but do not allow them to rule you either. Find a happy medium, and remember logic when making decisions.
25. Love whole heartedly. It's important to give your heart away, but that does not mean that everyone you give it to will be gentle with it, or worthy of it. Don't allow fear of being hurt stop you from loving life and loving others.
26. It is important to share. Share what you have with those who have less. Share with your friends, Share the word of God, share your possessions and share your joy.
27. Life will hurt you. When it does I will be here. I may not be happy about your decisions, I may not agree with you. I will not tell you what you want to hear in order to spare your feelings, but I will Always Always Always hold out my arms to you and hold you until it stops hurting.
28. You will always be my little babies. JT, you are my first born, to me you will always be my handsome. When you are a man I will still look in your eyes and see the day that my world changed. The day that I stopped being Stacey and became Mommy. To me your eyes will always belong to a 6lb 15 oz blonde haired, blue eyed baby boy. Ellie, I am sure that you will test my patience more as an adult than you do as a toddler, but there will never be a day that you will not be my little girl. I will want to protect you and smother you with love and advice until the day I die. I will do my best to keep your Daddy from running off every boyfriend you ever have, but I make no promises. Dont hold either of these against me. It is how I am designed and one day you will understand.
29. One day you will be grown and getting married. When that day comes I hope you remember that relationships are not easy. They take a lot more work than you are expecting and there will be days when you want to give up. A marriage is a commitment that you make, and if you are both willing than no matter how hard things get you can make it. No love is perfect. No person is perfect. Your father and I have had our good share of rough days and we have only been together for 7 years. I can only imagine that there will be more in the years before you read this. If you give yourself a way out, its always an option. Human nature is to take the easy road.
30. You will never understand why I say the things I say, and do the things I do until you become a parent. Your whole world changes in the blink of an eye and suddenly you will realize that so many things make sense. Your hearts will grow and your views will change. I expect us to fight and disagree, just as I did with your grandpa.
31. Never forget that I am proud of you. I was proud of your first steps and your first laughs. Proud of you as you learn and proud of you as you grow. You will never have to do something monumental in order to impress me. The only thing I want from you is for you to be a good person and to be happy. That alone will make me proud.
32. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. They would be lying. You can do whatever you want to do. You can be whatever it is that you wish. I hope that those things are good things, but be prepared that doing good takes more effort than the bad.
33. Be curious about the world. Ask questions, and don't allow others to keep knowledge away from you. If something feels wrong, it usually is. Know what you are getting into, because ignorance is not always bliss.
34. Do not allow money to buy your happiness or your loyalty.
35. You are in control of your actions, your emotions and your life. Only you can make decisions for yourself. Chose to be happy. Chose to be kind. Chose to be good. Chose to be trustworthy and friendly, to be outgoing and exploratory, to be faithful and serving, to be a survivor and never a victim, to be a positive person and to believe in yourself and others. Chose to LIVE and not let life pass you by worrying about what others think say and do.
I know there will be more that I need to say. More that I need to teach. I hope to do so in a manner so that they will remember. So that they will listen. I wish I had, rather than being so stubborn. There is nothing in my past that I regret. I am happy with who I am today and I know that all of my past experiences have shaped and molded me. I do however hope to spare my children from some of the messes that I had to clean up, and the awful feeling it is to know that you are the reason for someone else's pain. In time they will know all of these things, and more, but for now I can relax knowing that I still have time where they really are just my babies. That I can rock them, hold them, kiss away the boo-boos and distract them when I need to. I just wish time moved as slowly watching them as it did when I was in gym class in high school.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
How Ellie Scared the Pants off her Mama.
This past weekend was one filled with family time. We don't really have many weekends around here that are not jammed full of things to do, so we like to take advantage when we can. We decided to go downtown Saturday, to pay a visit to a friend who owns a jewelry store. Ian needed a watch fixed and my mom had a ring there that was being repaired. While we were waiting, the kids were playing a version of Ring Around the Rosie.
Ellie, being the patience tester that she is was not in the mood to listen. The moment that Ian walked into a store, leaving me outside with both children, Ellie decided to take off running towards a group of St. Patrick's Day celebrators. Picture me- 7.5 months pregnant running down the streets after a toddler who can clearly move faster than her short chubby legs should allow- with JT following after us leaving my purse sitting on the ground where we started.
A few minutes after Ian came back outside we were standing there talking with the kids walking around and around on a grate in the sidewalk, when Ellie decided to take off between 2 of the parallel parked cars and into the road. Of course there are 10-15 people staring with their mouths open as Ian runs full speed into the street to catch her. Ellie thought it was hilarious, and did exactly what she does every other time we chase her- runs faster. She made it about 3/4 of the way into the lane before Ian caught her. She received her first public spanking. We are blessed that there happen to be no cars coming at the time.
I held it together long enough to explain to her that she could really be hurt. That she was not to EVER do that again and that it was not funny, it was scary. I was proud of myself for not losing it. I gave her a hug, told her I loved her and showed her that the cars were driving by and that they could not see her because she was too little. Then JT gave her a hug and told her that what she did was "too dangerous." His utter concern for her safety has always touched me. He is a great big brother.
That is when I lost it. Standing in the middle of downtown, tears streaming down my face trying to hold back sobs and a million things are racing in my mind.
What would I do if I lost her? She may be a pain in my rear end, and there are days where I am convinced that she will be the sole reason for my loss of sanity, but she is irreplaceable. I admire my cousin for her strength to keep going after she last her little girl last year. I tear up every time I think about how hard that must be for her every single day, and how much strength it must take to look her little boy in the eyes after losing a child. She may not know it, but she is my hero.
How on EARTH could I bond with our son who is coming in a few short weeks if something were to happen to her? That is not nearly enough time to grieve, how could I show a new child love if I were to lose one?
My little sister just lost the use of her legs, what if that were to happen to Ellie? How would you explain something like that to a 2 year old? It has been hard enough for my sister and she is 10, a toddlers brain is not capable of processing that kind of information.
Good GOD we are BLESSED. I may have a thousand little complaints, about the house not being clean, or not seeing my husband enough. About wanting to do things that I am not capable of doing right now, aches and pains that I wish I did not have, but on the other hand... I have 2 beautiful and healthy children, another on the way. We have a house and animals, we love each other and we have all of our basic needs met. We have everything we need and most of the things we want. We are blessed to have mostly positive attitudes and be healthy and happy. I would do well to remember that more often.
Needless to say, Ellie gave this momma a good scare. We went for frozen yogurt at Sammy T's after that, and even though it was beautiful outside and noisy inside, we sat at one of the aluminum tables and enjoyed ourselves within the confines of the tiny store instead of allowing any roads to be too close for comfort. I will not be braving any more trips without a stroller or cart that will require waiting for any length of time, especially outside where people are driving around. And I am thankful that Porter is almost here so that I will have the double stroller at all times again and I can strap her in to that 5 point harness, and breathe a little easier.
My children are my world. without them I have no idea what kind of person I would be, where I would be in life and what I would be doing daily, but that little scare made me even more grateful for everything I do have, including the ability to stay home with them daily, and raise them the way I think they should be raised and discipline them the way I think they should be disciplined. It also made me realize that my husband is by far the most fabulous man I have met. (aside from my Daddy of course, because if you know him, you already know he is awesome, and if you don't know him you should. He is super cool and you are missing out) I could not ask for a better husband, and I appreciate his ability to watch me cry in the middle of downtown, give me a hug and tell me that I am still pretty when I am red and blotchy--- who can tell he has done this pregnancy thing a time or two??
Ellie, being the patience tester that she is was not in the mood to listen. The moment that Ian walked into a store, leaving me outside with both children, Ellie decided to take off running towards a group of St. Patrick's Day celebrators. Picture me- 7.5 months pregnant running down the streets after a toddler who can clearly move faster than her short chubby legs should allow- with JT following after us leaving my purse sitting on the ground where we started.
A few minutes after Ian came back outside we were standing there talking with the kids walking around and around on a grate in the sidewalk, when Ellie decided to take off between 2 of the parallel parked cars and into the road. Of course there are 10-15 people staring with their mouths open as Ian runs full speed into the street to catch her. Ellie thought it was hilarious, and did exactly what she does every other time we chase her- runs faster. She made it about 3/4 of the way into the lane before Ian caught her. She received her first public spanking. We are blessed that there happen to be no cars coming at the time.
I held it together long enough to explain to her that she could really be hurt. That she was not to EVER do that again and that it was not funny, it was scary. I was proud of myself for not losing it. I gave her a hug, told her I loved her and showed her that the cars were driving by and that they could not see her because she was too little. Then JT gave her a hug and told her that what she did was "too dangerous." His utter concern for her safety has always touched me. He is a great big brother.
That is when I lost it. Standing in the middle of downtown, tears streaming down my face trying to hold back sobs and a million things are racing in my mind.
What would I do if I lost her? She may be a pain in my rear end, and there are days where I am convinced that she will be the sole reason for my loss of sanity, but she is irreplaceable. I admire my cousin for her strength to keep going after she last her little girl last year. I tear up every time I think about how hard that must be for her every single day, and how much strength it must take to look her little boy in the eyes after losing a child. She may not know it, but she is my hero.
How on EARTH could I bond with our son who is coming in a few short weeks if something were to happen to her? That is not nearly enough time to grieve, how could I show a new child love if I were to lose one?
My little sister just lost the use of her legs, what if that were to happen to Ellie? How would you explain something like that to a 2 year old? It has been hard enough for my sister and she is 10, a toddlers brain is not capable of processing that kind of information.
Good GOD we are BLESSED. I may have a thousand little complaints, about the house not being clean, or not seeing my husband enough. About wanting to do things that I am not capable of doing right now, aches and pains that I wish I did not have, but on the other hand... I have 2 beautiful and healthy children, another on the way. We have a house and animals, we love each other and we have all of our basic needs met. We have everything we need and most of the things we want. We are blessed to have mostly positive attitudes and be healthy and happy. I would do well to remember that more often.
Needless to say, Ellie gave this momma a good scare. We went for frozen yogurt at Sammy T's after that, and even though it was beautiful outside and noisy inside, we sat at one of the aluminum tables and enjoyed ourselves within the confines of the tiny store instead of allowing any roads to be too close for comfort. I will not be braving any more trips without a stroller or cart that will require waiting for any length of time, especially outside where people are driving around. And I am thankful that Porter is almost here so that I will have the double stroller at all times again and I can strap her in to that 5 point harness, and breathe a little easier.
My children are my world. without them I have no idea what kind of person I would be, where I would be in life and what I would be doing daily, but that little scare made me even more grateful for everything I do have, including the ability to stay home with them daily, and raise them the way I think they should be raised and discipline them the way I think they should be disciplined. It also made me realize that my husband is by far the most fabulous man I have met. (aside from my Daddy of course, because if you know him, you already know he is awesome, and if you don't know him you should. He is super cool and you are missing out) I could not ask for a better husband, and I appreciate his ability to watch me cry in the middle of downtown, give me a hug and tell me that I am still pretty when I am red and blotchy--- who can tell he has done this pregnancy thing a time or two??
Friday, March 8, 2013
The Wonderful World of Google
Apparently there IS a downside to Google. Obviously Google is amazing, I mean do you remember how we found things out before Google?? The LIBRARY... (gasp!) Now I know there are a few people reading this who are younger than me, so let me clarify... That is a place you go to read books, yup, they make those in paper form. And Google was not always around, we used to have to look things up in Encyclopedias. OH the HORROR! I mean real social interaction, face to face, and we used to have to HAND WRITE those book reports. Can you imagine?
Now I can look up whatever I want to on my cell phone, while in the bathroom, in line at the grocery store or sitting on my couch. And Google knows everything. Like when your little brother does something silly, or you make a gingerbread house in German class in high school. Today I found out that Google also knows things like when someone who has the same name as you gets arrested for being a Meth dealer. SWEET.
Obviously it's not fair to look up yourself using your married name, you have to go maiden or go home. So, a 44 yr. old woman named Stacey Lynn Linkenhoker was arrested in 2009 in GA. She and her boyfriend apparently lived at a storage facility (I assume they ran the place, as most facilities of this nature do have live on site attendants) and were dealing drugs on the premises. It was part of a huge undercover sting and there were a bunch of other people dealing for them. She appears to have several other charges including Possession of Marijuana, Failure to comply with court drug orders, failure to appear and a few others. She was also on the run for a little while. She seems like a real winner.
Her mugshots are great too. You should look it up, it's rather interesting and provides some entertainment when you are having a rough day.
On the upside, I am not in my 40's and I don't live in GA so we can not get confused for one another. Nor have I ever done Meth. . A huge upside in my opinion.
I do love Google, and do not fault it for providing true and accurate (as well as occasionally skewed ) information. I feel that you have to take Google results with a grain of salt and decide for yourself if the link you click is a trustworthy one. But if you ever get bored you can look up all sorts of amazing things. . like who you were in your past life, and how peanut butter is made. Google away my friends.
Now I can look up whatever I want to on my cell phone, while in the bathroom, in line at the grocery store or sitting on my couch. And Google knows everything. Like when your little brother does something silly, or you make a gingerbread house in German class in high school. Today I found out that Google also knows things like when someone who has the same name as you gets arrested for being a Meth dealer. SWEET.
Obviously it's not fair to look up yourself using your married name, you have to go maiden or go home. So, a 44 yr. old woman named Stacey Lynn Linkenhoker was arrested in 2009 in GA. She and her boyfriend apparently lived at a storage facility (I assume they ran the place, as most facilities of this nature do have live on site attendants) and were dealing drugs on the premises. It was part of a huge undercover sting and there were a bunch of other people dealing for them. She appears to have several other charges including Possession of Marijuana, Failure to comply with court drug orders, failure to appear and a few others. She was also on the run for a little while. She seems like a real winner.
Her mugshots are great too. You should look it up, it's rather interesting and provides some entertainment when you are having a rough day.
On the upside, I am not in my 40's and I don't live in GA so we can not get confused for one another. Nor have I ever done Meth. . A huge upside in my opinion.
I do love Google, and do not fault it for providing true and accurate (as well as occasionally skewed ) information. I feel that you have to take Google results with a grain of salt and decide for yourself if the link you click is a trustworthy one. But if you ever get bored you can look up all sorts of amazing things. . like who you were in your past life, and how peanut butter is made. Google away my friends.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Holy Stress Relief
It's been a fabulous week. Honestly. I have been under a lot of stress lately, with court looming over my head and a 3 hour glucose test to take, my thyroid is off and we had some things to straighten out with health insurance to insure that my pregnancy and delivery were going to be covered. Lots of money threatening to be owed and very little I could do except submit paperwork . . and wait. . . and have blood work done, which if you know anything about me means tears.
Insurance is taken care of and the glucose test is tomorrow... (insert groaning and shuttering here). Court though was my most feared and dreaded part of all this stress. To simplify- VCU was suing me for a semester of classes that I did not attend. I attempted to withdraw from the classes and somewhere along the line paperwork was not filed properly. VCU states that it was my responsibility, I argued that I did my part. Unfortunately the e-mails needed to prove that were deleted from their system and unrecoverable, so I had to do my best to provide enough evidence for a judge to agree with me. It was tough, and I cried alot, and I yelled at my husband a few times. The whole process started almost a year ago. In September I won the original case, Commonwealth of Virginia decided to appeal and drag me through months of more paperwork, emails, calls and drives to Richmond, but the date was today. After several months of panic attacks and lost sleep I have won.
After all was said and done a grand total of almost $14,000 was at stake. I was so relieved to simply have this trial over, having shook the entire time and felt like I was going to hurl all over the witnesses, that I was crying before it registered to me that I had actually won. I shook hands with the attorney and walked out of the room with tears streaming down my face. I have learned a very valuable lesson though. Never ever ever trust that something is taken care of by word of someone without keeping proof when your butt and salary are on the line.
So far this week we have received some good news on the part of my little sister, who as most of you know was recently paralyzed from the waist down during a surgery on her back. She has made a few minor improvements, and at this point any and all improvements are considered a huge step and a great sign that one day she may recover from this. I know so many of you have been keeping her in your prayers and I am tremendously grateful to each of you for your support. I believe that she will carry on with her life, and that this speed bump will not stop her from whatever she puts her stubborn mind to.
While driving north on Wednesday (the day I had Ian take off work because I THOUGHT that was the day of court, luckily he caught my error at 11 pm Tuesday) the rear wheel bearing blew on Ian. Just over $500 later we can pick the car up tomorrow. They had to replace the whole spindle and he was very lucky to not have wrecked our car as it jerked him across the lane on 95. I am thankful that he is safe, and also that he was the driver that day and not me. Being a service technician his field requires that he drive a lot. Driving all over VA and MD daily he was able to handle the car and pull into a shop. He did still receive great news that day, but that is news I will let him share.
Overall, despite a few small rearrangements in plans, I am a much less stressed person this evening. With any grace I will be receiving good news on the Glucose test and since I already received confirmation on the insurance that we are good to go I can finally stop stressing about so many other things and get ready to have this baby. Maybe now I can stop dreaming (or having nightmares) about court and blood work and diabetic menus and instead dream about more fun things, like vacations, and what Porter will look like and yummy food. mmmmm I should Pinterest some goodies.
Insurance is taken care of and the glucose test is tomorrow... (insert groaning and shuttering here). Court though was my most feared and dreaded part of all this stress. To simplify- VCU was suing me for a semester of classes that I did not attend. I attempted to withdraw from the classes and somewhere along the line paperwork was not filed properly. VCU states that it was my responsibility, I argued that I did my part. Unfortunately the e-mails needed to prove that were deleted from their system and unrecoverable, so I had to do my best to provide enough evidence for a judge to agree with me. It was tough, and I cried alot, and I yelled at my husband a few times. The whole process started almost a year ago. In September I won the original case, Commonwealth of Virginia decided to appeal and drag me through months of more paperwork, emails, calls and drives to Richmond, but the date was today. After several months of panic attacks and lost sleep I have won.
After all was said and done a grand total of almost $14,000 was at stake. I was so relieved to simply have this trial over, having shook the entire time and felt like I was going to hurl all over the witnesses, that I was crying before it registered to me that I had actually won. I shook hands with the attorney and walked out of the room with tears streaming down my face. I have learned a very valuable lesson though. Never ever ever trust that something is taken care of by word of someone without keeping proof when your butt and salary are on the line.
So far this week we have received some good news on the part of my little sister, who as most of you know was recently paralyzed from the waist down during a surgery on her back. She has made a few minor improvements, and at this point any and all improvements are considered a huge step and a great sign that one day she may recover from this. I know so many of you have been keeping her in your prayers and I am tremendously grateful to each of you for your support. I believe that she will carry on with her life, and that this speed bump will not stop her from whatever she puts her stubborn mind to.
While driving north on Wednesday (the day I had Ian take off work because I THOUGHT that was the day of court, luckily he caught my error at 11 pm Tuesday) the rear wheel bearing blew on Ian. Just over $500 later we can pick the car up tomorrow. They had to replace the whole spindle and he was very lucky to not have wrecked our car as it jerked him across the lane on 95. I am thankful that he is safe, and also that he was the driver that day and not me. Being a service technician his field requires that he drive a lot. Driving all over VA and MD daily he was able to handle the car and pull into a shop. He did still receive great news that day, but that is news I will let him share.
Overall, despite a few small rearrangements in plans, I am a much less stressed person this evening. With any grace I will be receiving good news on the Glucose test and since I already received confirmation on the insurance that we are good to go I can finally stop stressing about so many other things and get ready to have this baby. Maybe now I can stop dreaming (or having nightmares) about court and blood work and diabetic menus and instead dream about more fun things, like vacations, and what Porter will look like and yummy food. mmmmm I should Pinterest some goodies.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
One of those days.
Maybe it's because they are 2 and 3. Maybe it's because I am in my third trimester and they are aware that a baby is about to forever infringe on Mommy Territory. Maybe it's because Ian has been working late so often, leaving me with little alone time. It could possibly just be me. Whatever the reason, my kids are driving me nuts.
They are so stinkin' cute. They are sweet and they want to snuggle... and fight and scream and tell me no, and tear down every toy they own, and not eat whatever it is that I make them, and touch me NON STOP. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that aside, I also woke up with a notification from my pregnancy app informing me that I have approximately 10 weeks left before Porter makes his debut, and that my uterus is larger than a basketball at this point. As if I didn't already know that since I have not seen my feet in about 12 weeks, which is cool since they are swollen and achy and I can't reach them to paint my toes anyways. Not to mention those averages are geared towards first time mothers, and this is not my first rodeo, making mine what.. the size of the universe?
Don't get me wrong. I am much happier being a stay at home mom than I would be going to work, and I would never ever trade places with a working mom. Respect to those of you who do it, but it's not for me. Sometimes though it's the stay at home part that gets to you. You are all couped up in your house (which, with it being winter and not getting as much air through it, sometimes smells stale.. or terrible- something that stands out to you when you have the smelling capacity of a hound dog) and you can either do 2 things some days... Go crazy trying to keep it clean with animals and children running and screaming and knocking things over and shedding.. OR .. Sit and stare at the mess that you are going to have to waddle around to clean up. It's truly an attractive sight. The waddling I mean.
It's amazing how much space a 2 and a half pound baby inside of you can take up, and how much energy is needed to handle normal tasks, like putting on your own shoes, so I switched to my purple slippers. Don't care if they match, don't care that they are obviously hard soled slippers. They go on with little effort and my feet are going to swell while I walk anyways, so what's it matter.
Oh yeah.. Back to the kids I already birthed--- Seriously, what language do I have to speak for them to understand that I don't always want to be touched by sticky fingers and kissed with snotty noses . . Or, in Ellie's case, That the kitchen floor is not a proper place to drop a deuce. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It's like I am raising monkeys some days. I have no idea how they get into some of the things they reach. Without trying to sound paranoid, I some days legitimately think they wake up with a plan to break me down.
And then there's the dog. She has been so much better lately. (Notice the lack of Reha inspired blogs lately) She is starting to listen, and I don't have to lock her away every time I have company. Aside from some trash, and cat food cans the only thing she has even destroyed lately are some food bowls. . . I guess that deserves some clarification. She broke the middle out of her ceramic dog bowl. A full year and she decides it was time for a new one. Rather than running to the store to buy one we started using a metal mixing bowl, whose sole purpose before Reha's meal delivery was Ian's cereal bowl. This was decided after she shredded two separate tupperware containers. This idiot dog put a hole in it. How is this possible you ask? Great question, we would like to know the same. She has already chipped both of her K9's, we assume on the grate of the dog cage, but I am not positive on that. So with only two chipped teeth (and by chipped I mean half the tooth is missing) how did she manage it? Also, how did she demolish several unopened cans of cat food? Ate right through them and licked the food out, resulting in some awful smelling gas on her part I might add.
Today, of all days, the day that I have been fighting off panic that I have such little time to accomplish a mile and half long list of things I want done BEFORE Porter comes, Reha decides to escape out the back door while I am in the tub. Thankfully she is dumb and always goes to the same places, and all my neighbors know she belongs here. Two of my neighbors come to return her and I am forced to open the door in a bath towel. Fabulous.Then I discovered she ate the rest of my chili cheese dog before escaping. I sincerely hope it burns her hind end on the way out.
In an effort to show my day some sort of mercy, my sister (who spent the evening in the emergency room with some breathing difficulties and a terrible chest cold) took both of my children to the store to get her prescriptions filled. What do they do? Of course they both fall asleep, which means they will want to stay awake extra late tonight and I have already contemplated locking them in their rooms... and watching something with a half naked Channing Tatum. . what am I talking about Channing Tatum doesn't even own an entire outfit.. He relishes showing off his rock hard abs. . and tonight I shall enjoy every moment of it.
Rather than wallowing in my own stress I have decided to Thank God for a few things. . like chocolate, drive thru pharmacies, steam cleaners, Gold Canyon Candles (seriously amazing. A million times better than Yankee Candles, and I have a friend who sells them if you don't believe me), and being able to buy a second vehicle this week.
On that note, I am on my way to raid the freezer, and I hope everyone else had a better day than I.
They are so stinkin' cute. They are sweet and they want to snuggle... and fight and scream and tell me no, and tear down every toy they own, and not eat whatever it is that I make them, and touch me NON STOP. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that aside, I also woke up with a notification from my pregnancy app informing me that I have approximately 10 weeks left before Porter makes his debut, and that my uterus is larger than a basketball at this point. As if I didn't already know that since I have not seen my feet in about 12 weeks, which is cool since they are swollen and achy and I can't reach them to paint my toes anyways. Not to mention those averages are geared towards first time mothers, and this is not my first rodeo, making mine what.. the size of the universe?
Don't get me wrong. I am much happier being a stay at home mom than I would be going to work, and I would never ever trade places with a working mom. Respect to those of you who do it, but it's not for me. Sometimes though it's the stay at home part that gets to you. You are all couped up in your house (which, with it being winter and not getting as much air through it, sometimes smells stale.. or terrible- something that stands out to you when you have the smelling capacity of a hound dog) and you can either do 2 things some days... Go crazy trying to keep it clean with animals and children running and screaming and knocking things over and shedding.. OR .. Sit and stare at the mess that you are going to have to waddle around to clean up. It's truly an attractive sight. The waddling I mean.
It's amazing how much space a 2 and a half pound baby inside of you can take up, and how much energy is needed to handle normal tasks, like putting on your own shoes, so I switched to my purple slippers. Don't care if they match, don't care that they are obviously hard soled slippers. They go on with little effort and my feet are going to swell while I walk anyways, so what's it matter.
Oh yeah.. Back to the kids I already birthed--- Seriously, what language do I have to speak for them to understand that I don't always want to be touched by sticky fingers and kissed with snotty noses . . Or, in Ellie's case, That the kitchen floor is not a proper place to drop a deuce. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It's like I am raising monkeys some days. I have no idea how they get into some of the things they reach. Without trying to sound paranoid, I some days legitimately think they wake up with a plan to break me down.
And then there's the dog. She has been so much better lately. (Notice the lack of Reha inspired blogs lately) She is starting to listen, and I don't have to lock her away every time I have company. Aside from some trash, and cat food cans the only thing she has even destroyed lately are some food bowls. . . I guess that deserves some clarification. She broke the middle out of her ceramic dog bowl. A full year and she decides it was time for a new one. Rather than running to the store to buy one we started using a metal mixing bowl, whose sole purpose before Reha's meal delivery was Ian's cereal bowl. This was decided after she shredded two separate tupperware containers. This idiot dog put a hole in it. How is this possible you ask? Great question, we would like to know the same. She has already chipped both of her K9's, we assume on the grate of the dog cage, but I am not positive on that. So with only two chipped teeth (and by chipped I mean half the tooth is missing) how did she manage it? Also, how did she demolish several unopened cans of cat food? Ate right through them and licked the food out, resulting in some awful smelling gas on her part I might add.
Today, of all days, the day that I have been fighting off panic that I have such little time to accomplish a mile and half long list of things I want done BEFORE Porter comes, Reha decides to escape out the back door while I am in the tub. Thankfully she is dumb and always goes to the same places, and all my neighbors know she belongs here. Two of my neighbors come to return her and I am forced to open the door in a bath towel. Fabulous.Then I discovered she ate the rest of my chili cheese dog before escaping. I sincerely hope it burns her hind end on the way out.
In an effort to show my day some sort of mercy, my sister (who spent the evening in the emergency room with some breathing difficulties and a terrible chest cold) took both of my children to the store to get her prescriptions filled. What do they do? Of course they both fall asleep, which means they will want to stay awake extra late tonight and I have already contemplated locking them in their rooms... and watching something with a half naked Channing Tatum. . what am I talking about Channing Tatum doesn't even own an entire outfit.. He relishes showing off his rock hard abs. . and tonight I shall enjoy every moment of it.
Rather than wallowing in my own stress I have decided to Thank God for a few things. . like chocolate, drive thru pharmacies, steam cleaners, Gold Canyon Candles (seriously amazing. A million times better than Yankee Candles, and I have a friend who sells them if you don't believe me), and being able to buy a second vehicle this week.
On that note, I am on my way to raid the freezer, and I hope everyone else had a better day than I.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
lazy days
I admit it, there are days where nothing but Netflix marathons are accomplished in my house. Some mixture of Dora, Diego and a few other shows like Pingu (a Swedish cartoon with no talking about some penguins that live in igloos), Power Rangers, this stupid crayon show, Curious George, occasionally Godzilla or Bananas in Pyjamas, Martha Speaks, some Woody Woodpecker and Oscar's Oasis (another cartoon without talking but its about a lizard in the dessert and JT thinks it is HILARIOUS).
Of course if Ellie had her say so we would never do anything but watch Dora and Diego,, fortunately for my sanity JT overrides and he is the one who knows how to work the xbox controller so he generally wins. While television may be rotting their brains at some points they have also learned a variety of useful and entertaining information from a few of the shows. They love to watch Team Umi Zoomi which is not on Netflix, as well as a few other educational shows.
In the past week I have encountered a wide variety of their knowledge in action. For instance:
Ellie told me that she needed to get out of the car because a Puma was going to get her. Mainly she just wanted out of her carseat, as she has a severe aversion to it after spending a whole weekend driving here and there . Later in the same day she looked me in the face and said "Mommy, you carry me? I can't step on the bal-canos (Volcanoes)." JT then chimes in and says.. "yeah, cause they go HUH-BOOOM"
A few days later Ellie told Ian in the morning to close our bedroom door because the dinosaurs were coming. I mean honestly child, can you at least chose realistic animals???
JT demonstrates his knowledge in a slightly different manner. . Generally by riding around on his dino head on a stick with his cowboy hat on screaming to the top of his lungs "I a cowboy, YEEHAW, Giddie up horsie" or "mommy I a superhero, I has powers." followed by pressing some imaginary picture on his shirt and running through the house or jumping around kicking. Today however he taught me something new..
Ellie, the lovely child she is, dumped half a bag of Goldfish on my floor. . thankfully I had just used my new Dyson and I was not willing to waste a pound of yummy Goldfish. As I am yelling at Ellie to clean them up JT backs up to the doorway and runs full force and jumps into the pile on the floor screaming "CANNON BALL!!!"
Now how do you expect me to keep a straight face after that?? Naturally my neighbor Andrea, who is a self proclaimed Goldfish addict, and has no children yet, has a little bit less self control and is literally bent over in the doorway laughing so hard that I can't even hear her. So JT sees this as an invitation to repeat. I need to vacuum again.
Ellie has also learned a bit of Spanish, extended her vocabulary and I heard her count to 10 yesterday. JT has learned some more words, lots of animals and shapes, and somewhere he picked up how to work the laptop. Together they have learned a few songs, like this one.. Which Ellie sings in the car non stop.
They really are great kids, and if my Daddy taught me anything in life it was that you have children for 2 reasons: Slave Labor, and your own personal amusement. Trust me my children are both.
Of course if Ellie had her say so we would never do anything but watch Dora and Diego,, fortunately for my sanity JT overrides and he is the one who knows how to work the xbox controller so he generally wins. While television may be rotting their brains at some points they have also learned a variety of useful and entertaining information from a few of the shows. They love to watch Team Umi Zoomi which is not on Netflix, as well as a few other educational shows.
In the past week I have encountered a wide variety of their knowledge in action. For instance:
Ellie told me that she needed to get out of the car because a Puma was going to get her. Mainly she just wanted out of her carseat, as she has a severe aversion to it after spending a whole weekend driving here and there . Later in the same day she looked me in the face and said "Mommy, you carry me? I can't step on the bal-canos (Volcanoes)." JT then chimes in and says.. "yeah, cause they go HUH-BOOOM"
A few days later Ellie told Ian in the morning to close our bedroom door because the dinosaurs were coming. I mean honestly child, can you at least chose realistic animals???
JT demonstrates his knowledge in a slightly different manner. . Generally by riding around on his dino head on a stick with his cowboy hat on screaming to the top of his lungs "I a cowboy, YEEHAW, Giddie up horsie" or "mommy I a superhero, I has powers." followed by pressing some imaginary picture on his shirt and running through the house or jumping around kicking. Today however he taught me something new..
Ellie, the lovely child she is, dumped half a bag of Goldfish on my floor. . thankfully I had just used my new Dyson and I was not willing to waste a pound of yummy Goldfish. As I am yelling at Ellie to clean them up JT backs up to the doorway and runs full force and jumps into the pile on the floor screaming "CANNON BALL!!!"
Now how do you expect me to keep a straight face after that?? Naturally my neighbor Andrea, who is a self proclaimed Goldfish addict, and has no children yet, has a little bit less self control and is literally bent over in the doorway laughing so hard that I can't even hear her. So JT sees this as an invitation to repeat. I need to vacuum again.
Ellie has also learned a bit of Spanish, extended her vocabulary and I heard her count to 10 yesterday. JT has learned some more words, lots of animals and shapes, and somewhere he picked up how to work the laptop. Together they have learned a few songs, like this one.. Which Ellie sings in the car non stop.
They really are great kids, and if my Daddy taught me anything in life it was that you have children for 2 reasons: Slave Labor, and your own personal amusement. Trust me my children are both.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Welcome to life; A pamphlet of disillusionment.
I know I have said this before, but I really wish that there was a class in high school that taught you what adulthood was really like. If I had to study and pass a class that shared life's realities with me I think I would be a much better rounded person. Of course it would be like a 16 year old being talked to about speeding tickets.. we would have assumed that none of these things would ever happen to us... Not that I would know about getting a speeding ticket, (currently knocking on wood as I type one handed) I have only been pulled over once and it was for an out headlight. . Ian on the other hand.. speeder.
I have decided that one day I will volunteer at a local school to teach this class. It will be called "Welcome to Life, Where Your Opinions and Feelings Only Count If You Pay Your Bills On Time"
and here is the midterm:
1. Bill Collectors will call you :
a. Monday through Friday
b. Anytime day or night regardless of what time you went to bed, or if your child was up until 4 am vomiting.
c. Never, if you pay your bills before the due date.
d. You mean if I forget to turn something in people will hassle me for it rather than just let me slide?
2. Children will throw a fit:
a. When you are home.
b. Out in public in a busy store when you are running late, have to pee and realize that even though you thought you were finished shopping you forget both of the items you actually came to the store for, which are conveniently located in the back, and there is only 1 register open.
c. In the middle of a parking lot
d. As soon as your infant falls asleep for a much needed nap time when you have a bazillion things to do.
3. You will fight with your spouse/ significant other:
a. Immediately before a birthday party, family function or important gathering.
b. On a holiday
c. when you are way too tired to deal with this.
d.never, we will always talk patiently and work things out before going to bed. I won't even bother letting you chose this because you are delusional and it's a LIE.
4. Your bank account will overdraft at some point because :
a. Your spouse will conveniently forget they spent $50 on something you think is stupid.
b. You did not realize that a bill had not actually cleared your account and went out to dinner thinking you had the funds.
c. Gas stations don't post for several days when you fill up.
d. You thought that bill that comes out automatically was scheduled for the 15th, not the 10th.
e. you have no idea, but now you owe $275 in overdraft fees, because a $1.29 drink just cost you an additional $35, better have been the best damn Pepsi you ever had!
5. You will catch the worst cold of your life:
a. Conveniently on a weekend
b. When you have no vacation days left for the year
c. When you have something important to do at work
d. When your spouse is out of town, leaving you with the kids and family coming into town next week.
e. When both of the kids have been vomiting and the baby is teething, allowing you absolutely no down time.
f. When the doctor can't fit you in for another week.
g. When there is nothing for colds or pain relief in the house and the kids are finally asleep and the store is closed.
6. Tax season:
a. Will be exciting because you can finally pay off those credit cards and past due bills.
b. Will be dreaded because it will be gone 3 days later when all the above clear your account.
c. Will be stressful, since as soon as you finish and submit them you get another letter in the mail marked "Important Tax Document"
d. Will suck since you end up owing this year.
7. Your friends will:
a. Always be your friends and be there when you need them
b. Let you down without meaning to
c. Forget you exist once you have children
d. Start a bunch of drama that you thought was over in the 10th grade, but apparently even though you own a house we are all still 12
e. What friends? I haven't left the house without being covered in snot, breast milk or dog hair in 3 years.
f. Move far far away.
**** Next Semester we will cover the following:
I have decided that one day I will volunteer at a local school to teach this class. It will be called "Welcome to Life, Where Your Opinions and Feelings Only Count If You Pay Your Bills On Time"
and here is the midterm:
Midterm Exam: Things you will need to know, unlike how to divide fractions and the chemical makeup of rocks.
(select as many as apply)
1. Bill Collectors will call you :
a. Monday through Friday
b. Anytime day or night regardless of what time you went to bed, or if your child was up until 4 am vomiting.
c. Never, if you pay your bills before the due date.
d. You mean if I forget to turn something in people will hassle me for it rather than just let me slide?
2. Children will throw a fit:
a. When you are home.
b. Out in public in a busy store when you are running late, have to pee and realize that even though you thought you were finished shopping you forget both of the items you actually came to the store for, which are conveniently located in the back, and there is only 1 register open.
c. In the middle of a parking lot
d. As soon as your infant falls asleep for a much needed nap time when you have a bazillion things to do.
3. You will fight with your spouse/ significant other:
a. Immediately before a birthday party, family function or important gathering.
b. On a holiday
c. when you are way too tired to deal with this.
d.
4. Your bank account will overdraft at some point because :
a. Your spouse will conveniently forget they spent $50 on something you think is stupid.
b. You did not realize that a bill had not actually cleared your account and went out to dinner thinking you had the funds.
c. Gas stations don't post for several days when you fill up.
d. You thought that bill that comes out automatically was scheduled for the 15th, not the 10th.
e. you have no idea, but now you owe $275 in overdraft fees, because a $1.29 drink just cost you an additional $35, better have been the best damn Pepsi you ever had!
5. You will catch the worst cold of your life:
a. Conveniently on a weekend
b. When you have no vacation days left for the year
c. When you have something important to do at work
d. When your spouse is out of town, leaving you with the kids and family coming into town next week.
e. When both of the kids have been vomiting and the baby is teething, allowing you absolutely no down time.
f. When the doctor can't fit you in for another week.
g. When there is nothing for colds or pain relief in the house and the kids are finally asleep and the store is closed.
6. Tax season:
a. Will be exciting because you can finally pay off those credit cards and past due bills.
b. Will be dreaded because it will be gone 3 days later when all the above clear your account.
c. Will be stressful, since as soon as you finish and submit them you get another letter in the mail marked "Important Tax Document"
d. Will suck since you end up owing this year.
7. Your friends will:
a. Always be your friends and be there when you need them
b. Let you down without meaning to
c. Forget you exist once you have children
d. Start a bunch of drama that you thought was over in the 10th grade, but apparently even though you own a house we are all still 12
e. What friends? I haven't left the house without being covered in snot, breast milk or dog hair in 3 years.
f. Move far far away.
**** Next Semester we will cover the following:
-Failed relationships
-How voting works and the months of political mumbo jumbo that you will endure before any sort of election, which is always
- Why buying a house is about as hard as shoving a 400 lb person in your Civic trunk.
- Why your Honda is no longer cool
- Moving back in with your parents
- Mysterious charges on your bank statement
-Alcohol Poisoning and hangovers
- Personal Property tax (also known as "damn, how did I forget about that?"
-How to remove a boot from your vehicle in a bar parking lot when you forget about Personal Property Taxes
- Drug Dealing neighbors
-Paying your own car insurance, and how getting a ticket affects this.
For Extra Credit:
Go home and ask your parents who cleans the oven, the litter box and what a meal plan is.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Almost There
26 weeks. 6.5-ish months. 182 days ( give or take a few). That is how far pregnant I am. Considering there is only 3 months left in this pregnancy, by my count 12 weeks since I was early with both JT (induced) and Ellie (a wonderful 4 am water- breaking wake up call).
I have a million and one things going on these days and in the grand scheme of life I have literally a blink of an eye left before my body delivers a change to my entire world, as well as the world of everyone in my house. There's still a list of necessities to purchase, half a house to clean and organize, and then there's the whole setting up my house for the baby part- crib, going through clothes and washing them, setting up a swing, gathering my nursing stuff, packing bags and a few thousand other small tasks that I have on just as many mental lists. You know--- nothing a nesting woman unleashed on her house can't cover, as long as she can walk.
I have to be honest though, I am fairly content with this pregnancy. After I got through my aversion to food in general and was able to keep down most everything, I actually began to enjoy it. For those of you with children already I know that this sounds crazy. For those of you who have heard horror stories, I must apologize.. some of them may have even come from me, but honestly I enjoy being pregnant. I love the flutters and the movements. I love the growing belly, the weird urges and the cool facts.. Like how finger prints are made, and when the baby can hear outside voices etc.
Sure, there are plenty of things I don't like about being pregnant. . For instance, the fact that I have had to replace my shoes every pregnancy because my feet grow. They tell you about ligament stretching and hip widening blah blah blah.. they don't tell you that your feet will never again fit into those expensive shoes you finally convinced your husband to let you buy. . . which may or may not be still in my closet 3 years later.. don't judge me.. I have delusional fantasies. I also dislike the swelling, which by the way, seasons do not really make a difference for most women. So, February or July your fingers at some point will look like sausages and your wedding band that slid on perfectly 2 days ago may wake you up at 3 a.m. cutting off circulation to your finger and scaring you half to death. ( Side note : Can someone please remind me to go to the jewelry store and have mine cut off before that happens again?)
You know what else I dislike about being pregnant? Heartburn. I am aware that child birth pain according to the bible was a punishment to women for sin, pretty sure God could have stopped at heartburn. Seriously. It's like having a blow torch inside your throat, and can be triggered by anything. And I mean anything. You go all day without it, and suddenly the last sip of water you take before bed triggers it. BOOM... hello inferno, good luck sleeping tonight.
There is this myth that spicy and acidic foods are the main triggers, but honestly, I think that is a lie designed by health food advocates. I don't even know what triggers mine, besides generalizing it as any sustenance that I consume. Oh, I almost forgot, the growing miracle that insists on shoving my stomach into my mouth at random intervals throughout the day, that could potentially have something to do with it. Oh, there are all these "tricks" to help prevent heartburn, like not reclining for 45 minutes after eating anything.. is that even possible when you are pregnant? You would never ever recline.. which by the way is another issue.. after eating you're so bloated that you can't sit straight.. and that's after eating a snack.. Dinner makes me feel like an oompa loompa.
Back to the joys of pregnancy. Actually... excuse me, I have to go take some more Zantac. We will discuss this further at another point. When my esophagus is not capable of making s'mores and I can think straight.
I have a million and one things going on these days and in the grand scheme of life I have literally a blink of an eye left before my body delivers a change to my entire world, as well as the world of everyone in my house. There's still a list of necessities to purchase, half a house to clean and organize, and then there's the whole setting up my house for the baby part- crib, going through clothes and washing them, setting up a swing, gathering my nursing stuff, packing bags and a few thousand other small tasks that I have on just as many mental lists. You know--- nothing a nesting woman unleashed on her house can't cover, as long as she can walk.
I have to be honest though, I am fairly content with this pregnancy. After I got through my aversion to food in general and was able to keep down most everything, I actually began to enjoy it. For those of you with children already I know that this sounds crazy. For those of you who have heard horror stories, I must apologize.. some of them may have even come from me, but honestly I enjoy being pregnant. I love the flutters and the movements. I love the growing belly, the weird urges and the cool facts.. Like how finger prints are made, and when the baby can hear outside voices etc.
Sure, there are plenty of things I don't like about being pregnant. . For instance, the fact that I have had to replace my shoes every pregnancy because my feet grow. They tell you about ligament stretching and hip widening blah blah blah.. they don't tell you that your feet will never again fit into those expensive shoes you finally convinced your husband to let you buy. . . which may or may not be still in my closet 3 years later.. don't judge me.. I have delusional fantasies. I also dislike the swelling, which by the way, seasons do not really make a difference for most women. So, February or July your fingers at some point will look like sausages and your wedding band that slid on perfectly 2 days ago may wake you up at 3 a.m. cutting off circulation to your finger and scaring you half to death. ( Side note : Can someone please remind me to go to the jewelry store and have mine cut off before that happens again?)
You know what else I dislike about being pregnant? Heartburn. I am aware that child birth pain according to the bible was a punishment to women for sin, pretty sure God could have stopped at heartburn. Seriously. It's like having a blow torch inside your throat, and can be triggered by anything. And I mean anything. You go all day without it, and suddenly the last sip of water you take before bed triggers it. BOOM... hello inferno, good luck sleeping tonight.
There is this myth that spicy and acidic foods are the main triggers, but honestly, I think that is a lie designed by health food advocates. I don't even know what triggers mine, besides generalizing it as any sustenance that I consume. Oh, I almost forgot, the growing miracle that insists on shoving my stomach into my mouth at random intervals throughout the day, that could potentially have something to do with it. Oh, there are all these "tricks" to help prevent heartburn, like not reclining for 45 minutes after eating anything.. is that even possible when you are pregnant? You would never ever recline.. which by the way is another issue.. after eating you're so bloated that you can't sit straight.. and that's after eating a snack.. Dinner makes me feel like an oompa loompa.
Back to the joys of pregnancy. Actually... excuse me, I have to go take some more Zantac. We will discuss this further at another point. When my esophagus is not capable of making s'mores and I can think straight.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Through the Eyes of a 3 Year Old
Confession: there's still a Christmas tree on my back deck.
Don't judge... I at least took the lights off before it made it out of
my house, and in all fairness its been a bit crazy over the last few
weeks. We have been out of town 3 times, with a million and one
things going on, and Ian has had weird work hours.
With that said, I have been complaining to Ian about not ever
seeing deer in my back yard. I was honestly looking forward to the
frequent visits since there is not only a creek running through our
yard, but also our property backs up to Lee Drive, which as most
of you know is a popular park running between Laffayette Blvd and
Lansdowne Rd. I was greatly disappointed that its been 10 months
since we bought our house and there have been zero sightings. I
have considered salt licks and several other ideas for drawing them
to our fence line. Ian likes to rub it in that he hears them regularly..
Sunday morning when we had a light dusting I was standing at
my back door admiring how pretty the woods were when I saw
some movement a few feet back into the woods, it was then that
I saw them.. several large doe a smaller deer and a big buck.
I called JT over to show him, as we often admire the birds and
squirrels together, and I am not sure he has ever seen deer before.
It took him a moment, but when they finally caught his attention he
screamed something incoherent.
At first I was confused, and slowly I started to understand him
talking about presents and the word Santa.. For a few minutes I still
could not put 2 and 2 together, and I had to break his heart and tell
him Christmas was not for a while... then it clicked..
My son witnessed "magic" thanks to our lack of thorough un-
decorating. (it's a word.. go with it). Not only was it snowing, but
having never seen real deer, they looked like reindeer to him.. and
there was a Christmas tree.... still in its stand I might add. All of this
could only mean one thing.. Santa was in fact in our back yard.
I did not have it in my heart to tell him the truth at this time. The
truth being, mommy and daddy are lazy and the decorations are
still in the laundry room, and those are regular ole' deer, nothing
magical.. and frankly its cold as balls outside so it snowed. So for
now... JT got to see Santa, in February. What I would give to have
Don't judge... I at least took the lights off before it made it out of
my house, and in all fairness its been a bit crazy over the last few
weeks. We have been out of town 3 times, with a million and one
things going on, and Ian has had weird work hours.
With that said, I have been complaining to Ian about not ever
seeing deer in my back yard. I was honestly looking forward to the
frequent visits since there is not only a creek running through our
yard, but also our property backs up to Lee Drive, which as most
of you know is a popular park running between Laffayette Blvd and
Lansdowne Rd. I was greatly disappointed that its been 10 months
since we bought our house and there have been zero sightings. I
have considered salt licks and several other ideas for drawing them
to our fence line. Ian likes to rub it in that he hears them regularly..
Sunday morning when we had a light dusting I was standing at
my back door admiring how pretty the woods were when I saw
some movement a few feet back into the woods, it was then that
I saw them.. several large doe a smaller deer and a big buck.
I called JT over to show him, as we often admire the birds and
squirrels together, and I am not sure he has ever seen deer before.
It took him a moment, but when they finally caught his attention he
screamed something incoherent.
At first I was confused, and slowly I started to understand him
talking about presents and the word Santa.. For a few minutes I still
could not put 2 and 2 together, and I had to break his heart and tell
him Christmas was not for a while... then it clicked..
My son witnessed "magic" thanks to our lack of thorough un-
decorating. (it's a word.. go with it). Not only was it snowing, but
having never seen real deer, they looked like reindeer to him.. and
there was a Christmas tree.... still in its stand I might add. All of this
could only mean one thing.. Santa was in fact in our back yard.
I did not have it in my heart to tell him the truth at this time. The
truth being, mommy and daddy are lazy and the decorations are
still in the laundry room, and those are regular ole' deer, nothing
magical.. and frankly its cold as balls outside so it snowed. So for
now... JT got to see Santa, in February. What I would give to have
that kind of reasoning, and luck.. Santa doesn't leave the North
Pole for just anyone.
Pole for just anyone.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The price of lost sleep
Warning: this blog was vengefully thought through at 8:05 am.
Anyone who is married, ever has been married, or is in a long term relationship will admit that their significant other has at least one thing that could drive a saint bonkers. If they have yet to find it, they have not lived together long enough.
My husband is a wonderful man. Many of you have met him. He gives me everything I ask for. He loves me, even when I don't think I deserve his love. He is affectionate and sweet and a great father, he is funny, and sometimes down right maddening, but I love him with all I am.
With all that being said let's get down to business.. Ian is a deep sleeper. We are talking so deep that we have had full conversations, he has gotten out of bed and walked into another room, kicked me in the face.. I will explain momentarily... and even argued with me all while sleeping.
When Ian and I first began living together I learned this lesson the hard way. One night, approximately 3 am, I was rudely awakened by a swift kick to the face. Imagine how angry I was, laying in bed all cozy, dreaming some totally off the wall dream that could never possibly occur in real life, and WHAM.. right in the jaw. Sitting up, confused and ready to start yelling I find Ian on all fours digging in our bed. Yup. . digging. Ok, I no longer feel the urge to yell, but my rate of confusion is much much higher.
" Ian, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
" I am looking for something"
"What on earth are you looking for?"
"It doesn't matter."
"What do you mean it doesn't matter, what are you looking for."
At this point he sits back on his heels, turns around to face me and while looking me straight in the face gives me an exasperated look and responds with " The ABA"
" What in hell is the ABA and why are you looking for it in our bed?"
"Go back to bed Stacey, It doesn't matter you're not a member"
FOR REAL?!?!
"Ian, I am getting really pissed. You just kicked me in the face, what is the ABA?"
"The American Bowlers Association"
" So help me God Ian, GO BACK TO BED"
The following morning Ian has absolutely no recollection of these events. In similar events, he once used my ringing cell phone to search between the bed and the wall for "reverse." Climbed into bed with JT in the middle of the night for no reason, Ellie was still in a crib at this point so I was relieved that he bypassed her room, although he did open her door. He repeatedly fights me for the pillow that I sleep on, has gotten out of bed and started screaming at me occasionally leaving me in tears before climbing back in bed and resuming his snoring, and once even propped himself up and stared at me with the creepiest grin on his face I have ever seen, leaving me with the heebie jeebies.
A man who can sleep through all this activity still thinks that a sissy alarm clock is somehow going to wake him up. Every morning beginning at 7:30 am there is a series of beep beep beep's and BOOMP BOOMP BOOMP's that are a miserably failed attempt at waking him up. He can sleep through them like a baby, leaving me screaming at him and ripping the pillow out from under his peacefully sleeping head just for him to press a stupid snooze button. Lucky for me, 9 minutes later we get to go through it again. Sometimes he even leaves a phone downstairs, so I get to lay in bed glaring at him while it goes off for half an hour.
There is this alarm called Mr. Clocky. It has wheels, and after you press the snooze button it rolls itself off the table and hides itself somewhere in the room so the next time it goes off you have to get up and search for it. I considered spending the whatever money on it until I realized a few things.
1. I would inevitably be the one getting up and searching for it every morning.. mission get Ian out of bed failed.
2. the children would think it was a toy and it would end up going off in one of their closets. These children like their father can sleep though anything short of a bomb, unless of course you open their bedroom doors, in which case your hopes and dreams of getting anything done (like a few more minutes of sleep) are dashed quicker than you can turn around and run.
3. Reha would demolish it.
But look, it's actually kind of cute.
Until then, I am taking suggestions. And this is payback for the many mornings of lost sleep.
Anyone who is married, ever has been married, or is in a long term relationship will admit that their significant other has at least one thing that could drive a saint bonkers. If they have yet to find it, they have not lived together long enough.
My husband is a wonderful man. Many of you have met him. He gives me everything I ask for. He loves me, even when I don't think I deserve his love. He is affectionate and sweet and a great father, he is funny, and sometimes down right maddening, but I love him with all I am.
With all that being said let's get down to business.. Ian is a deep sleeper. We are talking so deep that we have had full conversations, he has gotten out of bed and walked into another room, kicked me in the face.. I will explain momentarily... and even argued with me all while sleeping.
When Ian and I first began living together I learned this lesson the hard way. One night, approximately 3 am, I was rudely awakened by a swift kick to the face. Imagine how angry I was, laying in bed all cozy, dreaming some totally off the wall dream that could never possibly occur in real life, and WHAM.. right in the jaw. Sitting up, confused and ready to start yelling I find Ian on all fours digging in our bed. Yup. . digging. Ok, I no longer feel the urge to yell, but my rate of confusion is much much higher.
" Ian, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
" I am looking for something"
"What on earth are you looking for?"
"It doesn't matter."
"What do you mean it doesn't matter, what are you looking for."
At this point he sits back on his heels, turns around to face me and while looking me straight in the face gives me an exasperated look and responds with " The ABA"
" What in hell is the ABA and why are you looking for it in our bed?"
"Go back to bed Stacey, It doesn't matter you're not a member"
FOR REAL?!?!
"Ian, I am getting really pissed. You just kicked me in the face, what is the ABA?"
"The American Bowlers Association"
" So help me God Ian, GO BACK TO BED"
The following morning Ian has absolutely no recollection of these events. In similar events, he once used my ringing cell phone to search between the bed and the wall for "reverse." Climbed into bed with JT in the middle of the night for no reason, Ellie was still in a crib at this point so I was relieved that he bypassed her room, although he did open her door. He repeatedly fights me for the pillow that I sleep on, has gotten out of bed and started screaming at me occasionally leaving me in tears before climbing back in bed and resuming his snoring, and once even propped himself up and stared at me with the creepiest grin on his face I have ever seen, leaving me with the heebie jeebies.
A man who can sleep through all this activity still thinks that a sissy alarm clock is somehow going to wake him up. Every morning beginning at 7:30 am there is a series of beep beep beep's and BOOMP BOOMP BOOMP's that are a miserably failed attempt at waking him up. He can sleep through them like a baby, leaving me screaming at him and ripping the pillow out from under his peacefully sleeping head just for him to press a stupid snooze button. Lucky for me, 9 minutes later we get to go through it again. Sometimes he even leaves a phone downstairs, so I get to lay in bed glaring at him while it goes off for half an hour.
There is this alarm called Mr. Clocky. It has wheels, and after you press the snooze button it rolls itself off the table and hides itself somewhere in the room so the next time it goes off you have to get up and search for it. I considered spending the whatever money on it until I realized a few things.
1. I would inevitably be the one getting up and searching for it every morning.. mission get Ian out of bed failed.
2. the children would think it was a toy and it would end up going off in one of their closets. These children like their father can sleep though anything short of a bomb, unless of course you open their bedroom doors, in which case your hopes and dreams of getting anything done (like a few more minutes of sleep) are dashed quicker than you can turn around and run.
3. Reha would demolish it.
But look, it's actually kind of cute.
I will continue to devise an evil plan to wake Ian up without having to continue our exhausting morning routine of
"Turn it off"
"Turn what off? why are you so mad?"
"Your alarm has been going off for 20 minutes!! How do you not hear that? the whole house is awake now!"Until then, I am taking suggestions. And this is payback for the many mornings of lost sleep.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Hello Hormones
Pregnancy hormones have a way of getting the best of you. I mean here you are sitting in your living room minding your own business when all of a sudden your husband gets smacked in the face with a hormonal meltdown.
Luckily for Ian we have been through this process before and he is well aware of how to handle it. He knows that ignoring it will do no good, and might even piss me off, and telling me I am ridiculous will in fact set me off further and will turn into a huge fight over nothing.
Last night when my latest episode of estrogen decided to strike, I was sitting on the couch trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. During this pregnancy I have been experiencing something very new to me, in that nothing tastes good. At first I thought it was because I had been so sick and had developed a few aversions. After the sickness wore off ( at least to the point of being able to keep down something other than toast ) I learned that in fact the issue was my mouth and not my stomach. It seemed that everything I could think to eat sounded gross. I quickly resorted to baked potatoes and more toast, but these get old very soon when it's all you can eat for weeks on end. Finally I discovered that there is an actual medical term for it; "dysguesia" which means an altered sense of taste. In severe cases all food leaves a bad taste in your mouth and even water has an after taste. Thank GOD I am not in fact the only person who has ever dealt with this. That only helps so far as to comfort me out of thinking I am crazy, and does nothing for solving the issue of what to sustain my own life with as well as that of the baby's.
I have discovered one single flavor that does not repulse me besides the very bland toast and plain baked potatoes, and that is lemon. Not generally a fan, however the last few months the smell and taste is heavenly. Considering that last night in my internal food debate I decided to order in some seafood that I could drown in lemon... until the one place that offers seafood that delivers to my house (my sister took the car to work) had sent home their only on clock delivery person shortly before I called. Not wanting Pizza or pasta I tried to order Thai.. they closed early. I finally settled with Chinese, knowing I could at least keep it down, however it was not what I wanted, and fell so far short on my taste bud registry that I decided it was a waste of money after a few bites, but ate it anyways.
In the wait for food my stomach had begun to hurt so badly from hunger that I curled up on the couch and began to cry. This is where Ian stepped in. He sat in front of me on the floor and rubbed my head as I unravelled.
" I don't understand! I wanted another baby so bad, and this one doesn't like me. It's so hard this time and I can't even eat anything. I just want to be able to eat."
" Hunny, the baby does not hate you. You won't even remember this in a few months. Think about all you went through with Ellie and JT. You were so sick you couldn't get up the stairs. You had to go to the hospital because you were dehydrated, you couldn't even keep down water. And look, you don't even remember it being that bad. You wanted to do it again."
" I just want to eat. It's never going to taste good again. I am going to be miserable forever."
" Baby you will make it through this just like you did the last 2. "
" It doesn't feel like I will"
At this point Ellie is in my face asking me what happened. Ian explaining to her that my belly hurts, she begins to rub me and shush me. I on the other hand continue to cry hysterically and tell Ian all about how I am going to never want food again. How I am going to have to eat potatoes and toast for the rest of my life and how much I miss the taste of food. How I just want to taste something yummy again, like vegetables and fruit. The taste of seasonings and chicken. How I miss cooking and baking and how much it all repulses me right now. All in the meantime leaving a tear soaked couch cushion under my face. A spot so large that had I not known it was my own tears I would have questioned if someone had peed there. Also springing to my mind my father's constant jab to me as a child when we walked by a water fountain asking me if I needed to refill. ( ok, so I was a cry baby. )I got a drink after that, not sure if it was because I feel there may be some truth to it, or if I was in fact thirsty.
To be honest with you I have not even been able to grocery shop in weeks save for the necessities because even shopping for the food is gross. How do you shop and meal plan when the food you are buying makes you want to hurl just putting it in the cart. The worst part is I have several friends who are at the same point in pregnancy as I am or slightly further and they are all enjoying wonderful dishes, and having a blast going to eat with friends and experiencing food cravings. I ... I sit here dreaming about the taste of coffee and silently convincing myself that the muffin I had earlier in fact tasted as good as I wanted it to. . . It didn't, and every time I burp I taste it still, but I will take victory in being able to hold down a 600 calorie muffin without the help of Zofran.
Until food tastes good again, continue to post all your yummy treats so I can taste vicariously through you.
Luckily for Ian we have been through this process before and he is well aware of how to handle it. He knows that ignoring it will do no good, and might even piss me off, and telling me I am ridiculous will in fact set me off further and will turn into a huge fight over nothing.
Last night when my latest episode of estrogen decided to strike, I was sitting on the couch trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. During this pregnancy I have been experiencing something very new to me, in that nothing tastes good. At first I thought it was because I had been so sick and had developed a few aversions. After the sickness wore off ( at least to the point of being able to keep down something other than toast ) I learned that in fact the issue was my mouth and not my stomach. It seemed that everything I could think to eat sounded gross. I quickly resorted to baked potatoes and more toast, but these get old very soon when it's all you can eat for weeks on end. Finally I discovered that there is an actual medical term for it; "dysguesia" which means an altered sense of taste. In severe cases all food leaves a bad taste in your mouth and even water has an after taste. Thank GOD I am not in fact the only person who has ever dealt with this. That only helps so far as to comfort me out of thinking I am crazy, and does nothing for solving the issue of what to sustain my own life with as well as that of the baby's.
I have discovered one single flavor that does not repulse me besides the very bland toast and plain baked potatoes, and that is lemon. Not generally a fan, however the last few months the smell and taste is heavenly. Considering that last night in my internal food debate I decided to order in some seafood that I could drown in lemon... until the one place that offers seafood that delivers to my house (my sister took the car to work) had sent home their only on clock delivery person shortly before I called. Not wanting Pizza or pasta I tried to order Thai.. they closed early. I finally settled with Chinese, knowing I could at least keep it down, however it was not what I wanted, and fell so far short on my taste bud registry that I decided it was a waste of money after a few bites, but ate it anyways.
In the wait for food my stomach had begun to hurt so badly from hunger that I curled up on the couch and began to cry. This is where Ian stepped in. He sat in front of me on the floor and rubbed my head as I unravelled.
" I don't understand! I wanted another baby so bad, and this one doesn't like me. It's so hard this time and I can't even eat anything. I just want to be able to eat."
" Hunny, the baby does not hate you. You won't even remember this in a few months. Think about all you went through with Ellie and JT. You were so sick you couldn't get up the stairs. You had to go to the hospital because you were dehydrated, you couldn't even keep down water. And look, you don't even remember it being that bad. You wanted to do it again."
" I just want to eat. It's never going to taste good again. I am going to be miserable forever."
" Baby you will make it through this just like you did the last 2. "
" It doesn't feel like I will"
At this point Ellie is in my face asking me what happened. Ian explaining to her that my belly hurts, she begins to rub me and shush me. I on the other hand continue to cry hysterically and tell Ian all about how I am going to never want food again. How I am going to have to eat potatoes and toast for the rest of my life and how much I miss the taste of food. How I just want to taste something yummy again, like vegetables and fruit. The taste of seasonings and chicken. How I miss cooking and baking and how much it all repulses me right now. All in the meantime leaving a tear soaked couch cushion under my face. A spot so large that had I not known it was my own tears I would have questioned if someone had peed there. Also springing to my mind my father's constant jab to me as a child when we walked by a water fountain asking me if I needed to refill. ( ok, so I was a cry baby. )I got a drink after that, not sure if it was because I feel there may be some truth to it, or if I was in fact thirsty.
To be honest with you I have not even been able to grocery shop in weeks save for the necessities because even shopping for the food is gross. How do you shop and meal plan when the food you are buying makes you want to hurl just putting it in the cart. The worst part is I have several friends who are at the same point in pregnancy as I am or slightly further and they are all enjoying wonderful dishes, and having a blast going to eat with friends and experiencing food cravings. I ... I sit here dreaming about the taste of coffee and silently convincing myself that the muffin I had earlier in fact tasted as good as I wanted it to. . . It didn't, and every time I burp I taste it still, but I will take victory in being able to hold down a 600 calorie muffin without the help of Zofran.
Until food tastes good again, continue to post all your yummy treats so I can taste vicariously through you.
Monday, November 26, 2012
oh November!
So, where have I been?? Very good question. I have been busying myself with so many different things this November that honestly even I had to think about that answer for a few. . And as with all good ponderings there is a FABULOUS story to tell you about what I have remembered about this crazy month.
For starters, I have been partially couch ridden with some of the lovely woes that accompany pregnancy. If you have been pregnant, you need no further explanation, and if you have not, well... Google can be your best friend and your worst enemy. . it's really about luck of the draw. Also, I have been preparing my house for the holidays, like most of you.
Thanksgiving this year, as most of you smart-phone-toting Americans would know, fell on November 22. This glorious day of way too many calories and yummy goodness happens to be another day of importance in my house. . my birthday. So what does this pregnant lady with 2 toddlers, 2 dogs, 1 cat, a sister and husband decide to do on such a day. . . Host 20 odd family members in her house. Ok, look. If you got through that last sentence you have already established that my sanity is not intact.. don't judge me.
Most of November I spent either preparing or freaking out about not having prepared for this huge event. I did take a night of "me time" to attend opening weekend of Breaking Dawn with my friends Andrea and Sarah. What a night, a much needed night of laughing. To begin, walking to the car to meet Andrea (we are neighbors, it really is all green and such to ride share when we are going the same place) I nearly walk smack dab into a tree... in my front yard. Not as if I was unaware that tree was there... I complain about it all the time, and admittedly have walked into it before.We have nicknamed it the Octo-tree, since it reproduces all over our yard. Andrea of course being the awesome friend she is laughed hysterically at me. We drive across town to meet our friend Sarah whom we will be grabbing a bite to eat with in the 21+ lounge at the theatre. We did this for 2 reasons. . 1. they are not all impregnated and can drink yummy beverages before hand. 2. we got to skip the line of teenage girls and head instead to our reserved seats after the previews had already started.
During dinner we joked a lot about life. . marriage, dating, my children (both of them are currently childless by choice, and adore JT and Ellie) and my crazy household, right up until it was time to get boxes. Sarah, unknowingly ordered an entire pizza. Andrea and I knew, we just chose not to tell her. . the pizza is really yummy and the movie was long. she might need a snack. Upon delivery of the boxes, Sarah slightly embarrasses herself in front of the waiter. . who happened to be cute, and overhear her remark about such fact as he was literally right behind her head taking something off the table. Seeing Sarah blush is fun. She turns into the same girl I knew in high school. . . just about 32 shades pinker. Fortunately this was not even the end of poor Sarah's uncomfortable encounters that night.
About 10 minutes into the movie, a random drunk guy parks himself next to Sarah on what looks to be like a love seat with an armrest separating the 2 seats that is her reserved spot. We are unsure if he is supposed to be sitting there or not, but he leans in extremely close to her face and says " Baby, I will be back in a minute." More awkwardly.. he does not in fact proceed to go anywhere. He remains seated all up in her personal space for the next half an hour before finally scampering off somewhere. Andrea and I send Sarah the "what on EARTH" look, and drunk guy returns. He honestly felt that his alcohol stench and mere presence were not enough that he had to announce to her that he was back. . again in her personal space. Luckily about 2 minutes later he was curled up nearly in the fetal position facing away from her and knocked out cold for the rest of the movie.
On our way out the door, we see drunk boy apologizing to what we figured was his actual girlfriend, not sure where she was during the movie, as she tries to sober him enough to get him down the flight of stairs. .
After a fun night away from life, I returned to my crazy house. I am pretty sure my children are like hound dogs and have sniffed out my weakness this month and plotted against me. There have been attitudes and house wrecking flying left and right in my house. There was the Facebook pictures of the food dye incident. . Brand new box of food dye, and my children combined to paint a wall, tye-dye 2 dog cages and drip a clear path from the laundry room to the dining room wall. It's like follow the rainbow on my carpet. . Thank heavens we decided to get a steam cleaner with one of our housewarming presents. . Thanks Bob!!
JT has decided to be an artist, with my house as his canvas. Never having drawn on anything but paper he decided in one week to pin his sister on the floor and draw all over her body; back, stomach, face, legs. . you name it. A day or so later he tackled 2 of my living room walls with a red marker, the next day he got my bedroom. This time with permanent fabric marker. after deciding that mommy and daddy needed a headboard, he decorated our comforter. SWEET. Next came the paint. Having most of my craft supplies in a corner desk and drawer unit in my bedroom, we generally keep the door locked for my sanity and their safety. For some reason we have been slacking in that department and I should have learned my lesson after the markers, but of course I didn't. After completing the dishes without interruption I set off to find my children and whatever they had discovered, thinking my door was locked and like usual I would be finding them standing on bins somewhere in their toy room. . that was until I saw my door wide open and heard giggling. . damn.
A brand new large bottle of white acrylic paint is smeared on the side of my dresser, all over Ellie from head to toe, and she is eating a paint brush.Ellie still showing signs of food dye drips on her legs is becoming an awesome piece of work. JT immediately tries to hide between the dresser and wall, but cant fit, so just sticks his head in, in a moment of "if I can't see you, you can't see me: mentality. Luckily, and I better start knocking on wood and praying to Jesus. . they have not ruined anything.
Ian decided the weekend before Thanksgiving to chop down 2 of the trees in the front yard, had I known that poor tree was going down I might have let it get me. the second of now missing trees was a beautiful smoke tree. Granted it was placed inconveniently, taking up any area of the yard that might be usable as it sat so low to the ground, and was planted smack dab in the center of the house blocking our view of the street, it was a beautiful tree. Sadly Ian did not share my feelings and was unaware that I would have a pregnant meltdown outside after it was laying on the ground. His only response to his actions, and my unreasonable attachment to a tree was " we can plant more trees." He tries. . really he does.
My mom was wonderful enough to come over 2 times in the week and half before Thanksgiving to help me clear my house of clutter and get some things in order. I being the "Oh I can handle this" followed by meltdown lady that I am, decided to completely swap 2 rooms of my house 2 days prior to Thanksgiving. Why you ask? Well it seemed logical at the time. My sister needed more space, but as there was just no place to put the things that were crowding her room, and the children never used their playroom because they don't like to be upstairs without me, I figured that it would make sense to swap them. This would not only force me to rid the toy room of some toys since the space is smaller, but would hopefully keep it clean more since I can check in on them and make sure they are not getting into trouble. It would also force the pile of goodwill items to actually go to goodwill and the attic pile to make it to its final destination. All while giving my sister an actual closet and room to stretch her legs, and eventually put a bed.
Yeah I really did not anticipate it being that difficult. It seemed cut and dry. It wasn't. It was long and tiring and lots of up and down the stairs and I don't want to's. Finally though it was all coming together and Andrea came over to help out. She really is a fabulous friend. We went through some toys and got rid of an entire over-flowing bin of toys. We were even able to get the toy room in working order so that my nieces and nephews could play in there the next day. It's amazing. Now I just need to help my sister get settled in upstairs and we should be good to go.
My house by the way looked pretty darn good for our get together. Ian finished cleaning the yard, there was very little "just shove that there and I will deal with it later", and I even had enough time to get a birthday breakfast and fire. Ian did a great job of making up for the last few years of crappy birthdays by making this one fabulous. He even made it fabulous through the remainder of the weekend. I received a few foot rubs, back rubs, hunny I can get it's, and he cleaned up the house for me. I got a Birthday Card this year, major improvement, and he agreed to family portraits without a fight. He even cleaned up the entire box of baking soda the children decided to grace the dog cage with. I have to admit, it crossed my mind that he is sucking up to get the sheep skin slippers he has been asking for every year.
With November drawing to an end, and Christmas just around the corner I am sure there will be more craziness to follow. I did forget to mention a few things. My dear friend Katie had her baby. Cute as a button. Since we share a birthday a few of our friends came together to celebrate with us and it was a lot of fun. My Dad paid for me to have my hair done as a birthday present, which Andrea babysat for, she discovered the joys of watching stupid cartoons with a 3 year old and has a new found distaste for Curious George. . She feels he is not in fact curious but just a jerk. Ellie and JT have learned some new phrases. . Ellie now says Bieber Fever, nom nom nom and follows up the name Channing Tatum with the sound. . mmm mmm. JT has discovered sarcasm. When I told him he had to sit in time out until Daddy came home ( he was just around the corner) he looked me straight in the eye, raised his voice an octave or two and said " WHAAAAT?!?!"
He has also discovered logic and reasoning. Like his "I'll walk" comment after Daddy told him he could not run to me every time he did not like what he was told, he also made a clever conclusion when it came to getting in trouble. Ellie broke into 4 bottles of finger paint in the toy room. I blame Ian for not moving a bin out containing the paints and some nails and screws that I had asked him to get, he blames me for leaving it where the kids could get it in the first place.Touche. Either way it was a mess. In the process of cleaning up JT comes into the room, inquisitive as always. After we explain that we are cleaning up the mess we ask if he had anything to do with it. Ian immediately assumed since he had a smear of purple on his arm, but I defend him by saying there is paint everywhere and it's not on his hands. He could have rubbed against something. He takes one look at his sister who is pouting in time out, and looks his daddy straight in the face with a smirk across his lips and shakes his head. . "NOPE"
Ian informed him plausible deniablility will be out the door soon. . Ellie is getting really good at full sentences. Soon little guy she will be ratting you out. Enjoy it while you can.
For starters, I have been partially couch ridden with some of the lovely woes that accompany pregnancy. If you have been pregnant, you need no further explanation, and if you have not, well... Google can be your best friend and your worst enemy. . it's really about luck of the draw. Also, I have been preparing my house for the holidays, like most of you.
Thanksgiving this year, as most of you smart-phone-toting Americans would know, fell on November 22. This glorious day of way too many calories and yummy goodness happens to be another day of importance in my house. . my birthday. So what does this pregnant lady with 2 toddlers, 2 dogs, 1 cat, a sister and husband decide to do on such a day. . . Host 20 odd family members in her house. Ok, look. If you got through that last sentence you have already established that my sanity is not intact.. don't judge me.
Most of November I spent either preparing or freaking out about not having prepared for this huge event. I did take a night of "me time" to attend opening weekend of Breaking Dawn with my friends Andrea and Sarah. What a night, a much needed night of laughing. To begin, walking to the car to meet Andrea (we are neighbors, it really is all green and such to ride share when we are going the same place) I nearly walk smack dab into a tree... in my front yard. Not as if I was unaware that tree was there... I complain about it all the time, and admittedly have walked into it before.We have nicknamed it the Octo-tree, since it reproduces all over our yard. Andrea of course being the awesome friend she is laughed hysterically at me. We drive across town to meet our friend Sarah whom we will be grabbing a bite to eat with in the 21+ lounge at the theatre. We did this for 2 reasons. . 1. they are not all impregnated and can drink yummy beverages before hand. 2. we got to skip the line of teenage girls and head instead to our reserved seats after the previews had already started.
During dinner we joked a lot about life. . marriage, dating, my children (both of them are currently childless by choice, and adore JT and Ellie) and my crazy household, right up until it was time to get boxes. Sarah, unknowingly ordered an entire pizza. Andrea and I knew, we just chose not to tell her. . the pizza is really yummy and the movie was long. she might need a snack. Upon delivery of the boxes, Sarah slightly embarrasses herself in front of the waiter. . who happened to be cute, and overhear her remark about such fact as he was literally right behind her head taking something off the table. Seeing Sarah blush is fun. She turns into the same girl I knew in high school. . . just about 32 shades pinker. Fortunately this was not even the end of poor Sarah's uncomfortable encounters that night.
About 10 minutes into the movie, a random drunk guy parks himself next to Sarah on what looks to be like a love seat with an armrest separating the 2 seats that is her reserved spot. We are unsure if he is supposed to be sitting there or not, but he leans in extremely close to her face and says " Baby, I will be back in a minute." More awkwardly.. he does not in fact proceed to go anywhere. He remains seated all up in her personal space for the next half an hour before finally scampering off somewhere. Andrea and I send Sarah the "what on EARTH" look, and drunk guy returns. He honestly felt that his alcohol stench and mere presence were not enough that he had to announce to her that he was back. . again in her personal space. Luckily about 2 minutes later he was curled up nearly in the fetal position facing away from her and knocked out cold for the rest of the movie.
On our way out the door, we see drunk boy apologizing to what we figured was his actual girlfriend, not sure where she was during the movie, as she tries to sober him enough to get him down the flight of stairs. .
After a fun night away from life, I returned to my crazy house. I am pretty sure my children are like hound dogs and have sniffed out my weakness this month and plotted against me. There have been attitudes and house wrecking flying left and right in my house. There was the Facebook pictures of the food dye incident. . Brand new box of food dye, and my children combined to paint a wall, tye-dye 2 dog cages and drip a clear path from the laundry room to the dining room wall. It's like follow the rainbow on my carpet. . Thank heavens we decided to get a steam cleaner with one of our housewarming presents. . Thanks Bob!!
JT has decided to be an artist, with my house as his canvas. Never having drawn on anything but paper he decided in one week to pin his sister on the floor and draw all over her body; back, stomach, face, legs. . you name it. A day or so later he tackled 2 of my living room walls with a red marker, the next day he got my bedroom. This time with permanent fabric marker. after deciding that mommy and daddy needed a headboard, he decorated our comforter. SWEET. Next came the paint. Having most of my craft supplies in a corner desk and drawer unit in my bedroom, we generally keep the door locked for my sanity and their safety. For some reason we have been slacking in that department and I should have learned my lesson after the markers, but of course I didn't. After completing the dishes without interruption I set off to find my children and whatever they had discovered, thinking my door was locked and like usual I would be finding them standing on bins somewhere in their toy room. . that was until I saw my door wide open and heard giggling. . damn.
A brand new large bottle of white acrylic paint is smeared on the side of my dresser, all over Ellie from head to toe, and she is eating a paint brush.Ellie still showing signs of food dye drips on her legs is becoming an awesome piece of work. JT immediately tries to hide between the dresser and wall, but cant fit, so just sticks his head in, in a moment of "if I can't see you, you can't see me: mentality. Luckily, and I better start knocking on wood and praying to Jesus. . they have not ruined anything.
Ian decided the weekend before Thanksgiving to chop down 2 of the trees in the front yard, had I known that poor tree was going down I might have let it get me. the second of now missing trees was a beautiful smoke tree. Granted it was placed inconveniently, taking up any area of the yard that might be usable as it sat so low to the ground, and was planted smack dab in the center of the house blocking our view of the street, it was a beautiful tree. Sadly Ian did not share my feelings and was unaware that I would have a pregnant meltdown outside after it was laying on the ground. His only response to his actions, and my unreasonable attachment to a tree was " we can plant more trees." He tries. . really he does.
My mom was wonderful enough to come over 2 times in the week and half before Thanksgiving to help me clear my house of clutter and get some things in order. I being the "Oh I can handle this" followed by meltdown lady that I am, decided to completely swap 2 rooms of my house 2 days prior to Thanksgiving. Why you ask? Well it seemed logical at the time. My sister needed more space, but as there was just no place to put the things that were crowding her room, and the children never used their playroom because they don't like to be upstairs without me, I figured that it would make sense to swap them. This would not only force me to rid the toy room of some toys since the space is smaller, but would hopefully keep it clean more since I can check in on them and make sure they are not getting into trouble. It would also force the pile of goodwill items to actually go to goodwill and the attic pile to make it to its final destination. All while giving my sister an actual closet and room to stretch her legs, and eventually put a bed.
Yeah I really did not anticipate it being that difficult. It seemed cut and dry. It wasn't. It was long and tiring and lots of up and down the stairs and I don't want to's. Finally though it was all coming together and Andrea came over to help out. She really is a fabulous friend. We went through some toys and got rid of an entire over-flowing bin of toys. We were even able to get the toy room in working order so that my nieces and nephews could play in there the next day. It's amazing. Now I just need to help my sister get settled in upstairs and we should be good to go.
My house by the way looked pretty darn good for our get together. Ian finished cleaning the yard, there was very little "just shove that there and I will deal with it later", and I even had enough time to get a birthday breakfast and fire. Ian did a great job of making up for the last few years of crappy birthdays by making this one fabulous. He even made it fabulous through the remainder of the weekend. I received a few foot rubs, back rubs, hunny I can get it's, and he cleaned up the house for me. I got a Birthday Card this year, major improvement, and he agreed to family portraits without a fight. He even cleaned up the entire box of baking soda the children decided to grace the dog cage with. I have to admit, it crossed my mind that he is sucking up to get the sheep skin slippers he has been asking for every year.
With November drawing to an end, and Christmas just around the corner I am sure there will be more craziness to follow. I did forget to mention a few things. My dear friend Katie had her baby. Cute as a button. Since we share a birthday a few of our friends came together to celebrate with us and it was a lot of fun. My Dad paid for me to have my hair done as a birthday present, which Andrea babysat for, she discovered the joys of watching stupid cartoons with a 3 year old and has a new found distaste for Curious George. . She feels he is not in fact curious but just a jerk. Ellie and JT have learned some new phrases. . Ellie now says Bieber Fever, nom nom nom and follows up the name Channing Tatum with the sound. . mmm mmm. JT has discovered sarcasm. When I told him he had to sit in time out until Daddy came home ( he was just around the corner) he looked me straight in the eye, raised his voice an octave or two and said " WHAAAAT?!?!"
He has also discovered logic and reasoning. Like his "I'll walk" comment after Daddy told him he could not run to me every time he did not like what he was told, he also made a clever conclusion when it came to getting in trouble. Ellie broke into 4 bottles of finger paint in the toy room. I blame Ian for not moving a bin out containing the paints and some nails and screws that I had asked him to get, he blames me for leaving it where the kids could get it in the first place.Touche. Either way it was a mess. In the process of cleaning up JT comes into the room, inquisitive as always. After we explain that we are cleaning up the mess we ask if he had anything to do with it. Ian immediately assumed since he had a smear of purple on his arm, but I defend him by saying there is paint everywhere and it's not on his hands. He could have rubbed against something. He takes one look at his sister who is pouting in time out, and looks his daddy straight in the face with a smirk across his lips and shakes his head. . "NOPE"
Ian informed him plausible deniablility will be out the door soon. . Ellie is getting really good at full sentences. Soon little guy she will be ratting you out. Enjoy it while you can.
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