Let's talk Cicadas. So I am not sure how the cicadas are where you live, but as Ian and I bought a house that backs up to the battlefield drive park, they are super loud. I had seen a few before Porter was born, and there was the lovely schluffed off shells all over the place as well as evidence of them coming out of the ground, After Porter was born however it was like arriving to a whole new planet.
I stepped out of the car with Porter for the first time to discover this amazing noise that was humming all through the neighborhood. I find the noise beautiful, Ian- not so much. He was not actually aware of what the noise was until I was laying in bed and asked him if he could hear it. Even though I find it soothing to listen to I don't particularly care for the little critters themselves. I find them somewhat creepy looking. They have these big eyes and creepy wings. Thanks to my dislike for bugs in general, having millions of cicadas outside mid orgy has kept me and the kids in the house for the most part. Unfortunately it looks like we missed all the pretty spring weather thanks to my nesting and now the bugs, but luckily it was not all without reason, as there is a new fresh baby in the house that requires a bit of attention.
On the way to meet my mom at the store last week I had climbed in the van to buckle up JT and Ellie. I had no intention of getting out of the van, so I was still wearing my PJ pants. Mid buckling of JT he and Ellie start to scream simultaneously. Startled and confused I scream "what the heck is wrong with you??" and they both point to my leg and start repeating
" There's a Cay-duh on your leg, there's a cay-duh on your leg"
Holy cow kids. Not only did you wake the baby, but you about gave me a darn heart attack over a bug that won't even hurt me. Now if we were talking the huge spider I saw the night before I would feel that it was justified. This sucker was not like the huge hunting spiders I have grown accustomed to seeing at my door. Not that I am ok with them by any means, but at least I somewhat expect to see them. This guy on the other hand was big black and furry. He was hiding in the corner by my front door, waiting, I am sure, to strike out at me as I walk by and swallow me whole, never to be seen again.
Ian does not think this is possible, however my response is, why do you think there are so many unsolved missing persons cases without any lead what-so-ever?? They were eaten by big furry spiders, mark my word.
I made Ian kill it, and now I meticulously check the door again before I go in or out. The cicadas don't actually scare me, they just give me the eebie-jeebies. The kids are fine with them as long as there is a pane of glass between them and the cicada. When we are outside they don't even watch where they are going or what they are doing, they watch the ground and scream "another cay-duh, it's another bug, EW"
They have not even really bothered to request going outside, which I feel awful about. They need to get out some energy, but at the same time I am thankful because I am equally as paranoid about bugs touching me and I don't want to have to sit outside scanning my surroundings for these huge flying insects. I can't remember how long they stick around, but I am sure hoping that it's not too much longer. I will miss the hum of their song first thing in the morning, but I am also looking forward to getting the kids a kiddie pool and getting some old fashioned Vitamin D. .. and not having to bribe my husband to let the dogs out at night because I can't see them. But then there are always the man eating spiders.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Life with Porter
Guess what?!?!? I am not pregnant anymore WOO HOO! Obviously all of you know that my pregnancy was not that bad this go-round. I actually enjoyed it. There were only a small handful of days that I can remember being truly miserable, I mean aside from all the vomiting in the beginning part. I will happily spare you all the labor and delivery details, and leave you with this on that topic..
Epidural- didn't work
Porter- Got stuck, weighed 8lbs 12 oz and 19.5 inches long.
Labor- not really fun, and I had taken 2 Ambien. . suuupper sleepy.
So here we are, almost a week later. It's been over 2 years since I had to change those teeny tiny newborn diapers, you truly forget how much they squirm, and hate having to be wiped with those cold wet wipes. It's been almost 4 years since I had to change a newborn with a circumcision, poor little winkie.
As I was holding Porter last night after both of the hellions were in bed (I am allowed to call them hellions this week, believe me. It has been fun, more on that in a minute) I started to think about the differences in bringing home babies 1, 2 & 3. It was amusing.
Baby number 1 you are always so careful. Everything has to be washed first, sanitized, super clean. You are quiet when they are sleeping and would NEVER dream of waking them up to feed. I mean who cares that you are engorged and exhausted and emotional, that little human is sleeping, the vacuum can wait and the dogs need to be as far away as possible so they don't disturb the baby. You have time for naps, and take advantage of that whole sleep when the baby is sleeping thing. You can be organized, the diaper bag always has what it needs and you have this under control. . . after you get over the whole "Holy CRAP, I am a parent and I have to be responsible for this miniature person" thing.
Baby number 2 comes home and you realize that sometimes they are going to stick things in their mouth that have not been sterilized first. You are a little less weary about waking them for two reasons. One- you are a little busy chasing a toddler around, and Two- if you don't nurse now you are going to spring a leak in the grocery store. Weighing the options between screaming baby and huge wet spots on the front of your shirt.. always take screaming baby. People feel bad for you when you have a screaming infant and a toddler staring at you, asking you for fruit snacks for the 5 millionth time. They just STARE at you when you have a soaking wet t-shirt and 2 innocent looking children making no noise. At this point you try to maintain schedule, time it just right so that both kids nap at the same time, or at least are manageable and still give you some resemblance of a life outside of spit up, poop and pureed foods, which lets be honest are basically all the same thing.
Then there is baby number 3. Remaining quiet while anyone is asleep in your house is pretty much a joke. The kids are all on different schedules and you figure to hell with it if one of them misses a nap, cause you have to go grocery shopping. You find yourself saying things like "Don't stick that in the baby's face." and " For the love of all that is holy, I asked you to throw the diaper in the trash, not at your brother." Things are far from perfect, and the idea of a nap is like daydreaming of Narnia. It's perfect in theory but honestly, never gonna happen. But surprisingly you are less bothered by all of it, and with any sense of humor you remind yourself the first 2 are still alive you can't be that bad of a parent, and when that doesn't work there's always wine.
I told Ian last night that despite our childrens attitude issues the last few days, I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's been a little too easy. I have barely cried, and I have not gotten stressed out. It feels natural to have Porter here. I have, however, had it up to my stretch marks with repeating myself to JT and Ellie about being nice to each other. I know that it is not Porter related because we go through this every couple of months, but geez did they pick some terrible timing or what. It's really hard to yell at them when yelling makes your hoo-ha feel like you just ran it over a cheese grater. What on earth is so hard about letting your sister have the stupid dirty sock. If that's what she wants to play with than let her be, I will give her extra vitamins this week and brush her teeth real good. And why can't she just stop running away with whatever it is that he wants to have at that moment. If I have to remind them not to run in the house and scream like they are being chased by lions one more time today than I might explode.
On the upside I have not had to remind them to be easy with the baby. They understand that he is no longer in my belly and instead is out here and we have to be careful around him. They love to hold him and they love to be wherever he is. They have asked to help with just about every aspect of his care, and JT seems to really feel in touch with Porter's hunger needs. He lets me know whenever Porter is hungry, and reminded me yesterday that I have to be easy with Porter's pee-pee. Think I got this little man.
I am completely in love with my family. I love watching them interact and watching Ian hold them. I love all the kisses they sneak and the funny things they say. We went to grab some burgers last night from 5 Guys.... mmm... and while we were waiting at the table for our food so we could take it home I asked JT and Ellie if they wanted to draw me a picture while we waited for food. As I walk towards the back of the restaurant to grab markers and index cards, JT says " BOOB?! Wait for BOOB?" LOL I tried really hard not to laugh and said "no silly FOOD. While we wait for our burgers and fries. "He responded with " Oh! Good, I don't want to eat your boob. That's for Porter" Well then.. I am glad that this place is almost empty.
I do have some pictures of the kids, that I plan on posting to Facebook today. Just have to get around to putting them on the computer.
I have more blogs planned.. for instance, I think I jinxed myself when I said Reha had been really good. ---- she broke her cage. . Yeah, destroyed it. And then there are the cicadas.. or as my children like to call them "Cay Duhs" and then there are just plain cute pictures of Porter. I promise to get around to these soon. Happy Monday
Friday, May 10, 2013
Tears, attitudes, allergies and over-tired babies
Believe it or not, all in one day. How fabulous you say? yep.. welcome to my life today.
My day started out with a sink full of dirty dishes and a dishwasher full of clean ones. My least favorite chore in the world is unloading the dishwasher. I would rather clean your toilet. But last night I decided to take the better late than never attitude and get started on some freezer meals for post Porter.
My meal of choice was lasagna, because lets face it, lasagna is amazing and when made from scratch it is nothing short of perfection... as long as you don't burn it. After an hour of sauce making I decided I was done for the night and we were going to have some spaghetti. Of course Porter decided that food was not really high up on his priority list (neither apparently is getting out of me, I think we will need to discuss rearranging some things in his life) and I was able to eat approximately 5 bites before I was done.
I was a bit grumpy, overly sensitive and for the first time this pregnancy had swollen feet, so after putting the kids to bed I went to sleep too. Ian did however put the food away which was awesome of him, mainly because I would have been pissed had all that sauce gone to waste. Back on track.. Dishes..
I did not have a restful nights sleep, and therefore had little energy to start things this morning. I did finally get around to cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, while I kicked the kids out on the deck to blow bubbles and play water guns. For those of you who don't speak toddler I will translate for you..
"Let's shoot the cat with water guns and dump bubbles on the deck. See how many times you can ask mom to fill something up and let the dog out on accident."
After cleaning I got the call from the vet in regards to yesterdays visit for Cookie, my rat terrier who turns 7 next month. her white blood count was high and since she had gotten worse they recommended an emergency surgery to remove her infected uterus. They however could not fit her in until Tuesday and recommended anti-biotics to hopefully keep her alive until then. There were no guarantees and they suggested that if we could find somewhere that could do the surgery sooner than to take it.
We did. It cost us twice as much, but after rushing her over for an exam she seemed a bit lethargic. She had gotten to the point of not even lifting her head in response to being called. Overnight she had become distended and developed a high fever. The second vet did an x-ray to confirm and discovered that her uterus was very close to rupture and her liver was showing signs of stress as well. Lots of money later, along with 2 children literally bouncing off the walls, knocking over things and climbing over furniture, and me, an unshowered pregnant lady bawling in the exam room later, I was walking out without my dog. I cried the whole ride home.
Cookie was my first animal. She has been around as long as my husband ( who by the way has been very sweet through this whole thing, and told me that he couldn't let my dog die days before I have a baby) and she has been through a lot with me. She was my first baby, especially when we were unsure if we would ever have human babies of our own. The thought of losing her when she was completely healthy was not a bearable thought, so facing that in reality made for a pretty rough day.
I came home and attempted to distract myself by compiling the lasagna. It does look yummy, but it is in the freezer for another night. Besides I don't think my body would allow me to enjoy it right now. In addition to the tiresome day, I am making all the necessary arrangements for my induction on Tuesday. I am worried about leaving Cookie mid recovery to deliver a baby, and hoping to deliver before the induction all at the same time. I feel very conflicted about it all and totally unprepared. There are still things I want to do, and through contractions and pressure I am only able to do so much at once.
Add to all of my fun that the kids have some terrible allergies going on and the medication we usually use is temporarily unavailable. With itchy eyes and discharge and runny noses they have been a mess to deal with. Both of them insisted on getting in the shower with me, and while that is the one place they behaved today it was short lived. I made noodles for dinner and they are unaware that bed time is just moments away. This mama has surpassed her daily limit of crap to deal with, and if I have to listen to them fight or scream one more time I think I might explode.
I think the only way that this day could be salvaged would be with Cheesecake. Yummy yummy cheesecake and a small glass of wine, (which has been approved by my doctor before I get any lectures). I am still waiting for my husband to return home, and hoping he will stop to oblige me.
As a side note I was reminded never to ask the following question out loud. Even when your son is poking his sister in the eye and your daughter is dumping shredded cheese on the dog. " Can this day get any worse?"
Why you ask? Because the answer is.. "sure can. Here is some water leaking from the fridge that was not there 5 minutes ago that you can slip on. That mini heart attack is a warning not to ask again"
Goodnight blog readers. I sincerely hope every single one of your days was better than mine. Love you guys!
My day started out with a sink full of dirty dishes and a dishwasher full of clean ones. My least favorite chore in the world is unloading the dishwasher. I would rather clean your toilet. But last night I decided to take the better late than never attitude and get started on some freezer meals for post Porter.
My meal of choice was lasagna, because lets face it, lasagna is amazing and when made from scratch it is nothing short of perfection... as long as you don't burn it. After an hour of sauce making I decided I was done for the night and we were going to have some spaghetti. Of course Porter decided that food was not really high up on his priority list (neither apparently is getting out of me, I think we will need to discuss rearranging some things in his life) and I was able to eat approximately 5 bites before I was done.
I was a bit grumpy, overly sensitive and for the first time this pregnancy had swollen feet, so after putting the kids to bed I went to sleep too. Ian did however put the food away which was awesome of him, mainly because I would have been pissed had all that sauce gone to waste. Back on track.. Dishes..
I did not have a restful nights sleep, and therefore had little energy to start things this morning. I did finally get around to cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, while I kicked the kids out on the deck to blow bubbles and play water guns. For those of you who don't speak toddler I will translate for you..
"Let's shoot the cat with water guns and dump bubbles on the deck. See how many times you can ask mom to fill something up and let the dog out on accident."
After cleaning I got the call from the vet in regards to yesterdays visit for Cookie, my rat terrier who turns 7 next month. her white blood count was high and since she had gotten worse they recommended an emergency surgery to remove her infected uterus. They however could not fit her in until Tuesday and recommended anti-biotics to hopefully keep her alive until then. There were no guarantees and they suggested that if we could find somewhere that could do the surgery sooner than to take it.
We did. It cost us twice as much, but after rushing her over for an exam she seemed a bit lethargic. She had gotten to the point of not even lifting her head in response to being called. Overnight she had become distended and developed a high fever. The second vet did an x-ray to confirm and discovered that her uterus was very close to rupture and her liver was showing signs of stress as well. Lots of money later, along with 2 children literally bouncing off the walls, knocking over things and climbing over furniture, and me, an unshowered pregnant lady bawling in the exam room later, I was walking out without my dog. I cried the whole ride home.
Cookie was my first animal. She has been around as long as my husband ( who by the way has been very sweet through this whole thing, and told me that he couldn't let my dog die days before I have a baby) and she has been through a lot with me. She was my first baby, especially when we were unsure if we would ever have human babies of our own. The thought of losing her when she was completely healthy was not a bearable thought, so facing that in reality made for a pretty rough day.I came home and attempted to distract myself by compiling the lasagna. It does look yummy, but it is in the freezer for another night. Besides I don't think my body would allow me to enjoy it right now. In addition to the tiresome day, I am making all the necessary arrangements for my induction on Tuesday. I am worried about leaving Cookie mid recovery to deliver a baby, and hoping to deliver before the induction all at the same time. I feel very conflicted about it all and totally unprepared. There are still things I want to do, and through contractions and pressure I am only able to do so much at once.
Add to all of my fun that the kids have some terrible allergies going on and the medication we usually use is temporarily unavailable. With itchy eyes and discharge and runny noses they have been a mess to deal with. Both of them insisted on getting in the shower with me, and while that is the one place they behaved today it was short lived. I made noodles for dinner and they are unaware that bed time is just moments away. This mama has surpassed her daily limit of crap to deal with, and if I have to listen to them fight or scream one more time I think I might explode.
I think the only way that this day could be salvaged would be with Cheesecake. Yummy yummy cheesecake and a small glass of wine, (which has been approved by my doctor before I get any lectures). I am still waiting for my husband to return home, and hoping he will stop to oblige me.
As a side note I was reminded never to ask the following question out loud. Even when your son is poking his sister in the eye and your daughter is dumping shredded cheese on the dog. " Can this day get any worse?"
Why you ask? Because the answer is.. "sure can. Here is some water leaking from the fridge that was not there 5 minutes ago that you can slip on. That mini heart attack is a warning not to ask again"
Goodnight blog readers. I sincerely hope every single one of your days was better than mine. Love you guys!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
6:30 am observations
I have been in full "Evict Porter" mode for a few days now. I have done just about everything I can think of or read up on to no avail.. After laying in bed for over an hour this morning I decided that while it was a.) not raining and b.) there were no children awake except the inhabitant, I would use my time wisely and go for a walk.
My walks are normally accompanied by either my neighbor or my husband and always at least 1 child. This means that there is a lot of stopping and slow movement, as my toddlers like to stop and observe EVERYTHING on their walks. Not that this is really a bad thing, but when you are more focused on making sure you don't lose one, rarely do you take the time to stop and look around. This morning on the other hand I had the time to observe, and the luxury of walking at my speed.
I made mental note of a few things that I am not sure I would have noticed otherwise. For example... an unfortunate amount of frogs get run over in my neighborhood. Which really is sad for me because in addition to my mammal loving tendencies, I also used to own a few frogs. They were actually African Fire bellied Toads. Super cool little things that make a barking noise rather than the suspected "ribbit" or "croak." I am even that crazy lady that will intentionally avoid hitting one if I can help it without putting myself or any other vehicles in danger.
Another random tidbit that may interest you all.. The cicadas are really coming. It's started already, and they are just as creepy as I remember them being when I was a kid. I can remember my dad taking me outside to show me what they looked like and me getting all close and personal with one that was chilling on the tree in the back yard. I am curious to see the reactions of my children to these weird looking super bugs, as neither kid really cares too much for the insect varieties. Last night while waiting for Ian to get home I spotted a spider in the floor. We get some super yucky ones here, like the hunting spiders that are the size of your face and jump.. Ok, the size part may be a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much.. and they really do jump. This one, however, was only about an inch long, and even though I am TERRIFIED of spiders I was not in the mood for JT to see it first and then have to listen to the screaming and crying that accompany such sightings. After I started beating it with a flip flop and squirming like a baby getting a diaper changed, he caught on. He backed off very slowly and when it was dead he said.. " Mommy. That was yucky. I really really hate spiders."
Me too, little man, me too.
Also, I was impressed to see that most of my neighbors are not procrastinators like we are and had their trash out on the curbs already. While this week we do have ours out, we usually just barely make the trash pick up. Sadly, not as many of them recycle as I would like to see, and the environmentalist in me considered taping a flyer to their trash cans about how easy it is. You already pay for the service people.. just throw your crap in there and put it out with the trash. Its the same day, and they even make it easy for you... no sorting and they don't even ask that you rinse it. The recycle can tells you you don't have to. Come ON!!
On a happier note, I have found a new yard in my neighborhood to obsess over. There is one that I really like that the landscaping is just beautiful. Half of our neighborhood got a facelift last year when we had the hail storm. Including our house, many of them got either new roofs, new siding or both. Its amazing how much updated siding can do for the appeal of the neighborhood. The lovely landscaped house also took that time to start working on their yard. The gentleman that lives there has been doing it himself, I see him out in his yard most every weekend and sometimes during the week too. They lined their huge ditch with big garden stones and have the pretty flowers that creep over them strategically placed. They have beautiful, full, colorful flower beds lining their property, and a pretty bridge to get over the ditch. It really is gorgeous and they have not even finished yet. This new house's yard is not as elaborate, but seriously people not a single weed in their grass. Its gorgeous, and had it not been soaked from a day and half of rain I may have been tempted to lay in it. It just looks so comfy and plush. They do have a flower bed, and well mulched beds bordering the house, but the grass... beautiful. Compared to my house at the moment though I think the majority of the houses in my neighborhood are ahead. In all fairness though, you guys saw the Kubota pictures with JT. . We did just have 2 stumps removed from the front yard, one of which belonged to what Ian and I had affectionately named the Octo-Tree. This baby spread its seed like nobodies business. And the root system on those things were awful. By the time you realized it was there it was too late. Nothing sort of Round-Up took care of them by the time they reached a foot tall, and you even had to cut the top off to make sure the round up got in their good enough. I should post a picture of what the stump looked like out of the ground, It reminds me of Ursula..
Yes, I think it is just as evil as her too.
Other than that I have nothing new and exciting to say today. However.. If any of you would like to send happy labor thoughts my way I would not turn them down. Happy Wednesday?!
My walks are normally accompanied by either my neighbor or my husband and always at least 1 child. This means that there is a lot of stopping and slow movement, as my toddlers like to stop and observe EVERYTHING on their walks. Not that this is really a bad thing, but when you are more focused on making sure you don't lose one, rarely do you take the time to stop and look around. This morning on the other hand I had the time to observe, and the luxury of walking at my speed.
I made mental note of a few things that I am not sure I would have noticed otherwise. For example... an unfortunate amount of frogs get run over in my neighborhood. Which really is sad for me because in addition to my mammal loving tendencies, I also used to own a few frogs. They were actually African Fire bellied Toads. Super cool little things that make a barking noise rather than the suspected "ribbit" or "croak." I am even that crazy lady that will intentionally avoid hitting one if I can help it without putting myself or any other vehicles in danger.
Another random tidbit that may interest you all.. The cicadas are really coming. It's started already, and they are just as creepy as I remember them being when I was a kid. I can remember my dad taking me outside to show me what they looked like and me getting all close and personal with one that was chilling on the tree in the back yard. I am curious to see the reactions of my children to these weird looking super bugs, as neither kid really cares too much for the insect varieties. Last night while waiting for Ian to get home I spotted a spider in the floor. We get some super yucky ones here, like the hunting spiders that are the size of your face and jump.. Ok, the size part may be a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much.. and they really do jump. This one, however, was only about an inch long, and even though I am TERRIFIED of spiders I was not in the mood for JT to see it first and then have to listen to the screaming and crying that accompany such sightings. After I started beating it with a flip flop and squirming like a baby getting a diaper changed, he caught on. He backed off very slowly and when it was dead he said.. " Mommy. That was yucky. I really really hate spiders."
Me too, little man, me too.
Also, I was impressed to see that most of my neighbors are not procrastinators like we are and had their trash out on the curbs already. While this week we do have ours out, we usually just barely make the trash pick up. Sadly, not as many of them recycle as I would like to see, and the environmentalist in me considered taping a flyer to their trash cans about how easy it is. You already pay for the service people.. just throw your crap in there and put it out with the trash. Its the same day, and they even make it easy for you... no sorting and they don't even ask that you rinse it. The recycle can tells you you don't have to. Come ON!!
On a happier note, I have found a new yard in my neighborhood to obsess over. There is one that I really like that the landscaping is just beautiful. Half of our neighborhood got a facelift last year when we had the hail storm. Including our house, many of them got either new roofs, new siding or both. Its amazing how much updated siding can do for the appeal of the neighborhood. The lovely landscaped house also took that time to start working on their yard. The gentleman that lives there has been doing it himself, I see him out in his yard most every weekend and sometimes during the week too. They lined their huge ditch with big garden stones and have the pretty flowers that creep over them strategically placed. They have beautiful, full, colorful flower beds lining their property, and a pretty bridge to get over the ditch. It really is gorgeous and they have not even finished yet. This new house's yard is not as elaborate, but seriously people not a single weed in their grass. Its gorgeous, and had it not been soaked from a day and half of rain I may have been tempted to lay in it. It just looks so comfy and plush. They do have a flower bed, and well mulched beds bordering the house, but the grass... beautiful. Compared to my house at the moment though I think the majority of the houses in my neighborhood are ahead. In all fairness though, you guys saw the Kubota pictures with JT. . We did just have 2 stumps removed from the front yard, one of which belonged to what Ian and I had affectionately named the Octo-Tree. This baby spread its seed like nobodies business. And the root system on those things were awful. By the time you realized it was there it was too late. Nothing sort of Round-Up took care of them by the time they reached a foot tall, and you even had to cut the top off to make sure the round up got in their good enough. I should post a picture of what the stump looked like out of the ground, It reminds me of Ursula..
Yes, I think it is just as evil as her too.
Other than that I have nothing new and exciting to say today. However.. If any of you would like to send happy labor thoughts my way I would not turn them down. Happy Wednesday?!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Daddy has a PeePee, Mommy has a Gyna
Please tell me that the title of this blog threw you for a loop.
My children have recently decided that anatomy is a favorite topic of conversation. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But it gets a little strange around here.
I have always believed that my children would know the correct terms for body parts and not treat them as if they are taboo. JT and Ellie are only toddlers but they understand that babies drink from Mommy's breasts, and its called nursing. They don't stare or ask questions, it does not confuse them, and I don't ask that anyone hide what they are doing. To me its beautiful and natural and they should respect it. They also know that boys have a penis and testicles and girls have vagina's.
For some reason this has become a justification for things.. Let me give you an example.
JT: I am going to see MY Daddy.
Ellie: No, MY Daddy
JT: NO ELLIE. MY Daddy. Daddy has a Pee Pee, you have a gyna.
this actually worked by the way. . she agreed that it made sense and let him go alone without further argument. I was shocked and confused because what on EARTH does this have to do with the price of eggs in China? I mean seriously. . He fathered both of you with the same body part.. I am not sure why he can only be one of yours..
Then there was yesterday. We are standing outside watching Ian chop up some of those roots from the tree stumps I just told you about and JT (who for some reason has an obsession with peeing outside) decides to walk between the van and Ian's work truck and start peeing. Ellie walks over to see what he is doing, partially because she is nosey and partially because she loves to irritate him, and he informs her of the following:
" I have a pee pee, so I can pee outside, you have a gyna so you have to sit on the potty."
To which her response was "OH, you have a pee pee" and begins to giggle. Oh dear.
They have also recently decided that it's cool to compliment people. Without really understanding how to do this, they just walk around telling people that they like random objects. As I step out of the shower a few weeks ago JT looks me in the face and says "Mommy, I like your boobs" ummm.. Thanks? He also likes my belly, my toes, my hair, phone, pants and teeth. As far as I am concerned I think the kid has crush on me. Or there is absolutely nothing he does not like.. except vegetables, and meat, and his sister taking his stuff.
Ellie just likes to copy him, or randomly rub my skin and stare at me with a creepy grin on her face. Once I had a nightmare about it.. In said nightmare she was like a Chucky doll.. Not cool when I woke up to her staring me in the face in real life. Sometimes I think Ian's dreams are better. He doesn't remember any of them, but they seem pretty cool... he gets to sing opera and laugh.. I get my children turning into killer dolls. There seems to be some injustice here. Not to mention he never gets the eebie jeebies in a dark room with the kids.
There are also some key phrases that get some extra attention and usage out of the mouths of JT and Ellie.. Here are a few..
" You kiddin' me Bub-bub?" (that is what Ellie calls JT during normal conversation. If she is mad at him his name is James Irbin Thom-as
" I am" - doesn't matter what you ask them to do, this is the response.. well either this or no.. pretty predictable around here
" Not nice" Ellie was throwing a fit the other day and threw herself back onto Reha's pig toy. She stood up gave the pig a dirty look, picked up and pointed her finger in its face and said "not nice! Do it again and you get a sfankin" and then threw the pig across the room. She seems to like to threaten to spank people or objects.. She even threatened to spank my friends little boy that is her age. He was a little grumpy and pushed her away while sitting in his moms lap..
"Giddie up Horsie"- another mutual favorite. Sometimes they try to ride the dogs, other times its their toys or each other or Ian.. I once caught Ellie trying to sit on a 3 inch tall plastic horse.. I really wish I had gotten a picture of that. It was awesome.
" I need boom"- in an attempt to procrastinate anything (including time outs and bed time) my children will request fist bumps.. followed by high fives and "pinky" which is just a made up tapping of pinkies in the sequence of hand gestures. Ellie uses her pointer finger, but either way they call it pinky.
I love my crazy children.. I personally think they are the coolest kids ever. We do a lot of laughing.. and mostly I feel like its at Ellie, because she is a nut. I just feel the need to warn you that if you are around my children they are going to ask you some personal questions.. or in the case of my neighbor, call you by the wrong name and shove their hand down your shirt.. Sorry about that "engine"
My children have recently decided that anatomy is a favorite topic of conversation. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But it gets a little strange around here.
I have always believed that my children would know the correct terms for body parts and not treat them as if they are taboo. JT and Ellie are only toddlers but they understand that babies drink from Mommy's breasts, and its called nursing. They don't stare or ask questions, it does not confuse them, and I don't ask that anyone hide what they are doing. To me its beautiful and natural and they should respect it. They also know that boys have a penis and testicles and girls have vagina's.
For some reason this has become a justification for things.. Let me give you an example.
JT: I am going to see MY Daddy.
Ellie: No, MY Daddy
JT: NO ELLIE. MY Daddy. Daddy has a Pee Pee, you have a gyna.
this actually worked by the way. . she agreed that it made sense and let him go alone without further argument. I was shocked and confused because what on EARTH does this have to do with the price of eggs in China? I mean seriously. . He fathered both of you with the same body part.. I am not sure why he can only be one of yours..
Then there was yesterday. We are standing outside watching Ian chop up some of those roots from the tree stumps I just told you about and JT (who for some reason has an obsession with peeing outside) decides to walk between the van and Ian's work truck and start peeing. Ellie walks over to see what he is doing, partially because she is nosey and partially because she loves to irritate him, and he informs her of the following:
" I have a pee pee, so I can pee outside, you have a gyna so you have to sit on the potty."
To which her response was "OH, you have a pee pee" and begins to giggle. Oh dear.
They have also recently decided that it's cool to compliment people. Without really understanding how to do this, they just walk around telling people that they like random objects. As I step out of the shower a few weeks ago JT looks me in the face and says "Mommy, I like your boobs" ummm.. Thanks? He also likes my belly, my toes, my hair, phone, pants and teeth. As far as I am concerned I think the kid has crush on me. Or there is absolutely nothing he does not like.. except vegetables, and meat, and his sister taking his stuff.
Ellie just likes to copy him, or randomly rub my skin and stare at me with a creepy grin on her face. Once I had a nightmare about it.. In said nightmare she was like a Chucky doll.. Not cool when I woke up to her staring me in the face in real life. Sometimes I think Ian's dreams are better. He doesn't remember any of them, but they seem pretty cool... he gets to sing opera and laugh.. I get my children turning into killer dolls. There seems to be some injustice here. Not to mention he never gets the eebie jeebies in a dark room with the kids.
There are also some key phrases that get some extra attention and usage out of the mouths of JT and Ellie.. Here are a few..
" You kiddin' me Bub-bub?" (that is what Ellie calls JT during normal conversation. If she is mad at him his name is James Irbin Thom-as
" I am" - doesn't matter what you ask them to do, this is the response.. well either this or no.. pretty predictable around here
" Not nice" Ellie was throwing a fit the other day and threw herself back onto Reha's pig toy. She stood up gave the pig a dirty look, picked up and pointed her finger in its face and said "not nice! Do it again and you get a sfankin" and then threw the pig across the room. She seems to like to threaten to spank people or objects.. She even threatened to spank my friends little boy that is her age. He was a little grumpy and pushed her away while sitting in his moms lap..
"Giddie up Horsie"- another mutual favorite. Sometimes they try to ride the dogs, other times its their toys or each other or Ian.. I once caught Ellie trying to sit on a 3 inch tall plastic horse.. I really wish I had gotten a picture of that. It was awesome.
" I need boom"- in an attempt to procrastinate anything (including time outs and bed time) my children will request fist bumps.. followed by high fives and "pinky" which is just a made up tapping of pinkies in the sequence of hand gestures. Ellie uses her pointer finger, but either way they call it pinky.
I love my crazy children.. I personally think they are the coolest kids ever. We do a lot of laughing.. and mostly I feel like its at Ellie, because she is a nut. I just feel the need to warn you that if you are around my children they are going to ask you some personal questions.. or in the case of my neighbor, call you by the wrong name and shove their hand down your shirt.. Sorry about that "engine"
overdue unexciting news
Wow. Ladies and Gentlemen I am sorry that it has taken me several weeks to get around to posting.. I guess a general update is in order.
Well... I am still pregnant. Should be obvious since there have been no Facebook status updates to inform you otherwise, however... you would be surprised by how many times I get asked that question in a day. I promise you it is not for lack of trying, as I have done just about everything suggested to speed this process up... except that whole black cohosh/ castor oil idea.. My body is sore and tired enough I really don't have any interest in puking my guts out at this point... or expelling them in another manner either.
Aside from the general anxiety I get every single time I think abut giving birth, and the jittery feeling I get when I realize I could be meeting my little guy any day pregnancy is honestly not that bad.
I will allow that to sink in. I feel it's fair to give a moment after making a statement like that.
I mean don't get me wrong... I am finished. I am ready to meet him, to be able to roll over on my own and take unsupervised baths. I DO NOT want to be induced and therefore am attempting to evict my stomachs inhabitant at any moment. Other than that I am still content. There are aches and pains, but I feel like those are part of the territory and never really went away after getting knocked up the first time. I still enjoy the movement inside of me. I still like knowing he is safe and sound in there, and can move around with a great deal of ease ( as long as I am in an upright position). True, it feels like somebody walked up and kneed me square in the pubic bone, but I can eat, I can breathe I am not swollen or in any sort of immense discomfort, and honestly once he comes out I have to adjust to managing to keep alive 3 children instead of 2.
You would think that anxiety would be null and void since I have already done this 2 times, but seriously have any of you met Ellie??? She is like hell on wheels rolled into cute chubby legs and cheeks and a deceiving smile. Don't believe me? Spend the day with her. She can only fool you for a few hours, after that its all true colors and attitude. But she is adorable.. and FUNNY, and a nudist.
My grandma informed me its a family trait... and her stubborn attitude and nudity are stemmed from me giving her the middle name Lorraine. I was surprised.. I thought it was more of a Linkenhoker thing. If not I will be relieved as long as it is not also attached to the Everett name.
Other than pregnancy, there has been little going on in my house. Lots of me freaking out that the house is not spotless, gotta love nesting, and yard work. I am truly excited that my yard is finally getting around to being usable and presentable. At the moment there are 2 huge dirt piles in the front yard with roots sticking out of them, but that is what happens when you have stumps removed. The garden is starting to come together, the kids have room to play with their toys without stepping in dog poop or tripping on sticks. There is no longer a pile of leaves the size of China in my back yard, and for the most part the random piles of yard debris have been cleared out as well. I trimmed the azalea bushes so they are all nice and pretty, and I rid the front of a dead ugly bush by the mailbox. I even planted some day lillie's and plan to transplant some iris' to the area to spruce up the curb appeal.
My roses are about to start blooming and my daddy gave me some ornamental grass that I am super excited about. Ian even keeps the yard cut.... WHAT?!? It's pretty awesome! Now when I stare at the front of my house from across the street.. Ok look I spend a good amount of time discussing gardening and lawns with my neighbor. I can't believe I am old enough to say that. Anyways.. back on topic.. Now when I stare at my house from her bay window I focus on replacing the blinds from the cheap $3 walmart ones to the faux wood blinds with the 2 inch slats. I would love to have the real wood ones, but lets me honest, I have an 80 lb dog who likes to look out the window and bark at random passers by.. I don't want to spend $60 every time she decided to act like a jackass.
There is still some work to do in the yard, and that will come with time. If anyone is in need of taking out some anger though I have a whole area you can come chop down and dig out. . . No... Seriously. I have plans. =D
The kids are doing great. Ellie officially weighs more than JT, still a few inches to go to beat him there though. They are both very excited about Porter and have some very unusual topics of conversation that I will be addressing in the next blog. The animals are good, Reha has actually started listening a lot better and I can leave her out when company is here. If we are out in the yard she will still escape to come see us but there have only been 2 or 3 instances of her taking off down the street in the last 6 months or so. All of which involved a cat. I can't decide if she likes them or hates them.. she barks viciously and non stop at them, but she wags her tail the whole time. I don't think she would ever hurt one, but I am not sure what she thinks they should do in response to her... What can I say? It's Reha.
Ian had a very uneventful birthday. He turned 29, and came home after working all day to the kids screaming, me crying and a cake without candles. The kids took turns singing to him and opted for cake rather than dinner.. Ian's birthday... Ian's executive decision. We had chinese. He did take JT to see the new Iron Man movie. They both seemed to enjoy it.
Other than that folks I can not think of much to say. OH Except I bought a new mop.. It is just like a swiffer but with a re-usable cleaning pad and the cleaner container is refillable with whatever cleaner you like to use.. I was stoked. Don't judge me.
Well... I am still pregnant. Should be obvious since there have been no Facebook status updates to inform you otherwise, however... you would be surprised by how many times I get asked that question in a day. I promise you it is not for lack of trying, as I have done just about everything suggested to speed this process up... except that whole black cohosh/ castor oil idea.. My body is sore and tired enough I really don't have any interest in puking my guts out at this point... or expelling them in another manner either.
Aside from the general anxiety I get every single time I think abut giving birth, and the jittery feeling I get when I realize I could be meeting my little guy any day pregnancy is honestly not that bad.
I will allow that to sink in. I feel it's fair to give a moment after making a statement like that.
I mean don't get me wrong... I am finished. I am ready to meet him, to be able to roll over on my own and take unsupervised baths. I DO NOT want to be induced and therefore am attempting to evict my stomachs inhabitant at any moment. Other than that I am still content. There are aches and pains, but I feel like those are part of the territory and never really went away after getting knocked up the first time. I still enjoy the movement inside of me. I still like knowing he is safe and sound in there, and can move around with a great deal of ease ( as long as I am in an upright position). True, it feels like somebody walked up and kneed me square in the pubic bone, but I can eat, I can breathe I am not swollen or in any sort of immense discomfort, and honestly once he comes out I have to adjust to managing to keep alive 3 children instead of 2.
You would think that anxiety would be null and void since I have already done this 2 times, but seriously have any of you met Ellie??? She is like hell on wheels rolled into cute chubby legs and cheeks and a deceiving smile. Don't believe me? Spend the day with her. She can only fool you for a few hours, after that its all true colors and attitude. But she is adorable.. and FUNNY, and a nudist.
My grandma informed me its a family trait... and her stubborn attitude and nudity are stemmed from me giving her the middle name Lorraine. I was surprised.. I thought it was more of a Linkenhoker thing. If not I will be relieved as long as it is not also attached to the Everett name.
Other than pregnancy, there has been little going on in my house. Lots of me freaking out that the house is not spotless, gotta love nesting, and yard work. I am truly excited that my yard is finally getting around to being usable and presentable. At the moment there are 2 huge dirt piles in the front yard with roots sticking out of them, but that is what happens when you have stumps removed. The garden is starting to come together, the kids have room to play with their toys without stepping in dog poop or tripping on sticks. There is no longer a pile of leaves the size of China in my back yard, and for the most part the random piles of yard debris have been cleared out as well. I trimmed the azalea bushes so they are all nice and pretty, and I rid the front of a dead ugly bush by the mailbox. I even planted some day lillie's and plan to transplant some iris' to the area to spruce up the curb appeal.
My roses are about to start blooming and my daddy gave me some ornamental grass that I am super excited about. Ian even keeps the yard cut.... WHAT?!? It's pretty awesome! Now when I stare at the front of my house from across the street.. Ok look I spend a good amount of time discussing gardening and lawns with my neighbor. I can't believe I am old enough to say that. Anyways.. back on topic.. Now when I stare at my house from her bay window I focus on replacing the blinds from the cheap $3 walmart ones to the faux wood blinds with the 2 inch slats. I would love to have the real wood ones, but lets me honest, I have an 80 lb dog who likes to look out the window and bark at random passers by.. I don't want to spend $60 every time she decided to act like a jackass.
There is still some work to do in the yard, and that will come with time. If anyone is in need of taking out some anger though I have a whole area you can come chop down and dig out. . . No... Seriously. I have plans. =D
The kids are doing great. Ellie officially weighs more than JT, still a few inches to go to beat him there though. They are both very excited about Porter and have some very unusual topics of conversation that I will be addressing in the next blog. The animals are good, Reha has actually started listening a lot better and I can leave her out when company is here. If we are out in the yard she will still escape to come see us but there have only been 2 or 3 instances of her taking off down the street in the last 6 months or so. All of which involved a cat. I can't decide if she likes them or hates them.. she barks viciously and non stop at them, but she wags her tail the whole time. I don't think she would ever hurt one, but I am not sure what she thinks they should do in response to her... What can I say? It's Reha.
Ian had a very uneventful birthday. He turned 29, and came home after working all day to the kids screaming, me crying and a cake without candles. The kids took turns singing to him and opted for cake rather than dinner.. Ian's birthday... Ian's executive decision. We had chinese. He did take JT to see the new Iron Man movie. They both seemed to enjoy it.
Other than that folks I can not think of much to say. OH Except I bought a new mop.. It is just like a swiffer but with a re-usable cleaning pad and the cleaner container is refillable with whatever cleaner you like to use.. I was stoked. Don't judge me.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Highlights of my day.
Clearly God has a sense of humor. I have known this for years, as often I have tried to do something, only for it to turn out totally wrong.. For instance. . . My best friend was raised by her grandmother. Memaw was the type of woman who did not even check the mail without her hair and makeup done. Story has it that when her daughter was in labor with my friend, Memaw took the time to curl her hair before driving her to the hospital.
I drove home from college in a middle of the night rush the day before she passed away. In that rush I conveniently forgot to pack any pants. I stuck around for the funeral, and therefore needed to buy something nice to wear. I bought this really cute black skirt that she would have loved, I matched it with a plain top and a pair of sequined slip ons. After the funeral we went to the cemetery, where my dad started to giggle and handed me his suit jacket. Confused, I took it as he whispered in my ear that the skirt of choice for that day was completely see through, and the entire packed funeral home had seen my rear end. Memaw did request that something funny happen at her funeral, lucky for me I was her target.
Today I prayed for patience. Not sure why but mine was slipping pretty close to the line of downright pissed off and needing to scream. In an effort to not turn into the worlds worst mother ( obviously I can't be that bad, my kids are still alive but hormones have a way of making you think some pretty awful things about yourself ) I have sent my children in the other room and googled Fat Amy video clips. I have heard however that when asking God for Patience what you are really asking for is practice, so you can learn to handle it on your own. That is just what I got today.
My children have screamed and cried and thrown fits. They have pretended not to know things they clearly know, and not to hear things they clearly heard and just ignored. Thankfully there were no potty accidents today, but there were a few slipped bad words ( on their part, not even mine! ) they have had a few knock down fights over a balloon, lots of running in the house and not doing what they are supposed to. Here are a few highlight of my day.
-Ellie decided that rather than eat her yogurt that she literally knocked her brother to the ground over, she would instead take it and fingerpaint the walls and my table.
- JT decided he would conveniently forget how to count. After knowing how to count to at least 10 and most of the time 20 for over a year, today he no longer knows what the number 3 is, or that 6 and 7 come before 8 not after 10.
- Since I was apparently not quick enough at getting my children a drink, I walked into the kitchen to find them taking turns drinking out of a 2 litre of orange soda.
- After being told repeatedly to go in the toy room and clean up the toys, Ellie strolls out of the toy room in nothing but a superhero cape. I have yet to find out where her underwear went, although I located her shirt and pants. She refuses to put any of it back on and therefore is running around completely naked at this point.
- Both of my children, who know fully well that they are not allowed to take the cushions off the couch and jump on them, have been caught numerous times doing just that as soon as I leave the room, including as I type this. I give in.
- I couldnt figure out where Ellie kept getting paper towels since she cant reach the roll, until I found her digging them out of the trash and dipping them in the dog water.
- Both of the kids have found that Porter's carseat is a great place to hide from each other, and since with the base attached it is quite heavy for me to carry up the stairs it sits off to the side of the living room.
- I learned today that Reha is in fact ok with the children attempting to ride her. I have heard the term "Giddie Up Horsie" at least 50 times today. Doberman, Horse.. apparently all the same to toddlers.
I have surrendered. I shall make dinner, dip into the candy stash that I hid from my entire house, and watch something with Adam Sandler in it tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, and if my children happen to be in the same mood I may end up screaming... or locking them in their rooms and watching terrible television. Nothing makes you feel better about your life like an episode of Maury.
I drove home from college in a middle of the night rush the day before she passed away. In that rush I conveniently forgot to pack any pants. I stuck around for the funeral, and therefore needed to buy something nice to wear. I bought this really cute black skirt that she would have loved, I matched it with a plain top and a pair of sequined slip ons. After the funeral we went to the cemetery, where my dad started to giggle and handed me his suit jacket. Confused, I took it as he whispered in my ear that the skirt of choice for that day was completely see through, and the entire packed funeral home had seen my rear end. Memaw did request that something funny happen at her funeral, lucky for me I was her target.
Today I prayed for patience. Not sure why but mine was slipping pretty close to the line of downright pissed off and needing to scream. In an effort to not turn into the worlds worst mother ( obviously I can't be that bad, my kids are still alive but hormones have a way of making you think some pretty awful things about yourself ) I have sent my children in the other room and googled Fat Amy video clips. I have heard however that when asking God for Patience what you are really asking for is practice, so you can learn to handle it on your own. That is just what I got today.
My children have screamed and cried and thrown fits. They have pretended not to know things they clearly know, and not to hear things they clearly heard and just ignored. Thankfully there were no potty accidents today, but there were a few slipped bad words ( on their part, not even mine! ) they have had a few knock down fights over a balloon, lots of running in the house and not doing what they are supposed to. Here are a few highlight of my day.
-Ellie decided that rather than eat her yogurt that she literally knocked her brother to the ground over, she would instead take it and fingerpaint the walls and my table.
- JT decided he would conveniently forget how to count. After knowing how to count to at least 10 and most of the time 20 for over a year, today he no longer knows what the number 3 is, or that 6 and 7 come before 8 not after 10.
- Since I was apparently not quick enough at getting my children a drink, I walked into the kitchen to find them taking turns drinking out of a 2 litre of orange soda.
- After being told repeatedly to go in the toy room and clean up the toys, Ellie strolls out of the toy room in nothing but a superhero cape. I have yet to find out where her underwear went, although I located her shirt and pants. She refuses to put any of it back on and therefore is running around completely naked at this point.
- Both of my children, who know fully well that they are not allowed to take the cushions off the couch and jump on them, have been caught numerous times doing just that as soon as I leave the room, including as I type this. I give in.
- I couldnt figure out where Ellie kept getting paper towels since she cant reach the roll, until I found her digging them out of the trash and dipping them in the dog water.
- Both of the kids have found that Porter's carseat is a great place to hide from each other, and since with the base attached it is quite heavy for me to carry up the stairs it sits off to the side of the living room.
- I learned today that Reha is in fact ok with the children attempting to ride her. I have heard the term "Giddie Up Horsie" at least 50 times today. Doberman, Horse.. apparently all the same to toddlers.
I have surrendered. I shall make dinner, dip into the candy stash that I hid from my entire house, and watch something with Adam Sandler in it tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, and if my children happen to be in the same mood I may end up screaming... or locking them in their rooms and watching terrible television. Nothing makes you feel better about your life like an episode of Maury.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
a little observation
WOW. I don't even know where to start here. When did sharing your opinion become such a crime? Where is all this hate even coming from? Over the last few days I have silently followed many posts on the matter of Gay Rights and Gun Control. I have kept my opinion out of it, while I do have one I am not really in the mood to defend myself so publicly. I would be happy to have a one on one conversation with anyone about it, but as I have witnessed, making a social media declaration has lead to a lot of harsh words and immaturity.
Firstly, I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that it does not have to be the same as mine. I think that everyone sees things differently, and that is what makes us individuals. That is why we must learn tolerance and love. Does your best friend, your father, your spouse etc. think the exact same thing as you on every subject? NO silly, you would be clones, not real people. I would not like it if someone told me that my opinion is wrong because its an opinion, just as you would be equally offended if the same were said to you. Obviously from some of the strong reactions I have witnessed.
Secondly, have you ever heard the saying "If you can't say anything nice, than don't say anything at all?" Don't get me wrong, I think you should be able to voice your opinion the same as anyone else, but there is a line.. and a not so thin one either, between voicing your opinion and looking like an idiot. Don't attack someone else for seeing things differently. Don't resort to name calling and childish behavior and arguments, especially when it is right there for hundred of people to observe. This does not convince anyone to agree with you, it just makes you look like you are 12. Be an adult. You are one in age ( at least most of you) be one in action.
Thirdly, Social Media is meant to share your daily ins and outs, pictures, things you support etc. If you don't even like someone in real life WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THEM ON FACEBOOK? It's simple. Either don't accept their friendship (or request them as a friend) and if you have already done so sadistically, go to their page and unclick the box that says "Friends". It's done and you don't have to read about their lives or share yours with them. This will not however prevent them from seeing your comments on mutual friends pages.. sorry for the elementary explanation of this, but apparently it was over the heads of a few people today.
I am a lover of all people, and it takes a lot for me to dislike someone. I appreciate everyone's input and I respect the rights of others to say and do as they please, just as I expect them to respect that it is my right to do so. If you feel someone is wrong, by all means speak your mind..I am not asking that you agree with everyone, but remember that doing so does not mean that you have to turn to terrible language, insults and brainless accusations,you don't have to agree to be civil and respectful, . I would really like to think that none of my friends --- in everyday life or on Facebook--- are child molesters, rapists or into beastiality.. YET... according to Facebook today I know at least 8 of them. WHAT?!?!?
Come on people.. grow a brain, and I am not referring to anything off of the movie Waiting... I know where some of your minds are... I have seen your posts too.
Firstly, I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that it does not have to be the same as mine. I think that everyone sees things differently, and that is what makes us individuals. That is why we must learn tolerance and love. Does your best friend, your father, your spouse etc. think the exact same thing as you on every subject? NO silly, you would be clones, not real people. I would not like it if someone told me that my opinion is wrong because its an opinion, just as you would be equally offended if the same were said to you. Obviously from some of the strong reactions I have witnessed.
Secondly, have you ever heard the saying "If you can't say anything nice, than don't say anything at all?" Don't get me wrong, I think you should be able to voice your opinion the same as anyone else, but there is a line.. and a not so thin one either, between voicing your opinion and looking like an idiot. Don't attack someone else for seeing things differently. Don't resort to name calling and childish behavior and arguments, especially when it is right there for hundred of people to observe. This does not convince anyone to agree with you, it just makes you look like you are 12. Be an adult. You are one in age ( at least most of you) be one in action.
Thirdly, Social Media is meant to share your daily ins and outs, pictures, things you support etc. If you don't even like someone in real life WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THEM ON FACEBOOK? It's simple. Either don't accept their friendship (or request them as a friend) and if you have already done so sadistically, go to their page and unclick the box that says "Friends". It's done and you don't have to read about their lives or share yours with them. This will not however prevent them from seeing your comments on mutual friends pages.. sorry for the elementary explanation of this, but apparently it was over the heads of a few people today.
I am a lover of all people, and it takes a lot for me to dislike someone. I appreciate everyone's input and I respect the rights of others to say and do as they please, just as I expect them to respect that it is my right to do so. If you feel someone is wrong, by all means speak your mind..I am not asking that you agree with everyone, but remember that doing so does not mean that you have to turn to terrible language, insults and brainless accusations,you don't have to agree to be civil and respectful, . I would really like to think that none of my friends --- in everyday life or on Facebook--- are child molesters, rapists or into beastiality.. YET... according to Facebook today I know at least 8 of them. WHAT?!?!?
Come on people.. grow a brain, and I am not referring to anything off of the movie Waiting... I know where some of your minds are... I have seen your posts too.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
My Lesson Plan for Parenting.
The closer I get to delivering baby #3 the further I fall in love with #1 and #2. I didn't think it was possible for my heart to grow any larger for them than it already was, especially with all of my other organs currently misplaced and short on space. I was wrong.
Every day they grow more. They are using full sentences and talking clearly. Ellie is officially potty trained and I don't have to follow behind her every few minutes to make sure she is not peeing on the steps... or pooping in the kitchen... again. The faster they grow the more I realize that there are so many things that I have to teach them. They need to know a million things about the world, and with each day that passes they come closer and closer to experiencing life for themselves.
I both fear and anticipate the day that they get to go off and meet the world, the real world, with their own eyes and minds, but before they can do that there are some very important things they need to know.
1. Nothing you can do will ever make me love you less. You are going to make mistakes, you will hurt me and disappoint me, I will heal and I will always be your Mommy.
2. Be kind to others. This sounds cliche, but its not. It's important to be kind and loving. It's important not to hurt others, they will be hurt enough by the world, don't add to their pain, take away from it.
3. Never be a bully. Never point out someones flaws and use it to hurt them. You too are flawed. You are not any better than them, and God does not want you to judge anyone. That is for Him and Him alone. You should stand up for anyone being picked on, even if it places you in the line of fire.
4. You are Beautiful just the way God made you and I grew you. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body, and accentuating your beauty, but nothing about you needs to be removed or enlarged. Do not hide your individual beauty from the world. (unless it is in an inappropriate place, in which case you should save that for your spouse.)
5. Your father and I are not naive. We too have done things that we are not proud of, things we knew were wrong and things we thought we got away with and didn't. That does not mean that we will be the types of parents to let you get away with whatever. You will have rules, and we will have standards. If you fail to abide by them there will be consequences.
6. Use your manners. Please, Thankyou, Bless You, Excuse Me, Sorry, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir etc. These are not only polite, but contagious. In a world of rude and disrespectful people it will not only make you stand out as a good person, but using your manners will distinguish you from people with little character.
7. Be an honest person. Nobody likes to be lied to, and if you lie to others, you open the door to be lied to. Be honest and never allow someone to believe something that you know not to be true. Lying by omission is lying.
8. It does not matter what others are doing, it matters that you do what you feel is the right thing to do. You will feel pressure to do and say things that you know are wrong, things that you know we would not approve of. Doing these things anyways will only result in you feeling badly about yourself and will not lead down any path that you will want to take.
9. Have a positive self image. Having struggled for years I speak from experience when I say that not only does self hatred lead you to make poor decisions, but it changes who you are on the inside. It makes you less attractive to others, it leaves behind negativity and negativity duplicates itself without your permission. You should never allow something like that to take hold in your heart.
10. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Your feelings and opinions matter. Don't ever let someone tell you that they don't.
11. Cleaning up after yourself may be annoying and unpleasant, but cleaning up after someone else is even worse. Learn to take care of that at an early age so it becomes habit, trying to teach yourself later in life is really hard.
12. Take care of the things that you have. It does not matter if it was cheap or expensive, given to you or you paid for it. Take pride in having nice things, and caring for the things you have. If you don't you will end up with nothing.
13. Spend time with your family whenever you get the chance. They are important, and they may not always be here. Cherish the time you have with them. Make memories together and never blow them off for no reason. Sleep can wait, your friends can wait, television is not that important.
14. Technology is wonderful, but it does not replace quality time. You still need to make eye contact, have in person conversations, and pay attention. Turn the TV off, put the cell phone away and turn off the games. They will wait.
15. Respect your elders. You don't really need a reason, just do it.
16. Don't rush to grow up. You are not going to miss out on anything by staying a child a little longer, but you will miss out if you decide you don't want to be one anymore. I know how hard it is to wait for things, but trust me, anything worth having is worth waiting for.
17. Take the nap. One day you will wish you had, like me. But instead you will be awake with your 3 year old who refuses to take one wondering why you ever wanted to skip nap time when you were his age. You are keeping me from napping... just take the nap!
18. It's ok to get messy. As long as you are not wearing your nice clothes and we are not on the way out the door. Play outside, touch dirt, get paint in your hair and play in the rain. I am not telling you to eat other peoples gum off the ground or anything, but don't be afraid of a little dirt.
19. Be gentle to animals. They can not tell you what they have been through. They deserve love and respect just like humans. Never torture or intentionally hurt an animal. It is not funny, it is cruel. They have memories and pain just like we do.
20. Always keep your word. If you make a promise you stand by it. If for some reason you can't you make sure that there is a good reason, and that you are honest and forthcoming about it.
21. Try your best, but it is ok to fail. You are not always going to be the winner. You will not always be the best. Sometimes you may come dead last, but as long as you put forth every effort you could, it was good enough. Try again. There is no shame in taking more than one shot at something. The only shame to be had is in giving up. That is when you become a failure.
22. Try new things. Do things you don't want to. You will be surprised to find there are things you really like that you never would have thought you would. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. It will grow you as a person and make you more relateable and approachable.
23. Laugh often. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others. Laugh at life's little moments. Nobody likes someone who is always serious, and laughing is good for your soul.
24. It is ok to cry. The world is an emotional place. Do not be ashamed to show your emotions to others, but do not allow them to rule you either. Find a happy medium, and remember logic when making decisions.
25. Love whole heartedly. It's important to give your heart away, but that does not mean that everyone you give it to will be gentle with it, or worthy of it. Don't allow fear of being hurt stop you from loving life and loving others.
26. It is important to share. Share what you have with those who have less. Share with your friends, Share the word of God, share your possessions and share your joy.
27. Life will hurt you. When it does I will be here. I may not be happy about your decisions, I may not agree with you. I will not tell you what you want to hear in order to spare your feelings, but I will Always Always Always hold out my arms to you and hold you until it stops hurting.
28. You will always be my little babies. JT, you are my first born, to me you will always be my handsome. When you are a man I will still look in your eyes and see the day that my world changed. The day that I stopped being Stacey and became Mommy. To me your eyes will always belong to a 6lb 15 oz blonde haired, blue eyed baby boy. Ellie, I am sure that you will test my patience more as an adult than you do as a toddler, but there will never be a day that you will not be my little girl. I will want to protect you and smother you with love and advice until the day I die. I will do my best to keep your Daddy from running off every boyfriend you ever have, but I make no promises. Dont hold either of these against me. It is how I am designed and one day you will understand.
29. One day you will be grown and getting married. When that day comes I hope you remember that relationships are not easy. They take a lot more work than you are expecting and there will be days when you want to give up. A marriage is a commitment that you make, and if you are both willing than no matter how hard things get you can make it. No love is perfect. No person is perfect. Your father and I have had our good share of rough days and we have only been together for 7 years. I can only imagine that there will be more in the years before you read this. If you give yourself a way out, its always an option. Human nature is to take the easy road.
30. You will never understand why I say the things I say, and do the things I do until you become a parent. Your whole world changes in the blink of an eye and suddenly you will realize that so many things make sense. Your hearts will grow and your views will change. I expect us to fight and disagree, just as I did with your grandpa.
31. Never forget that I am proud of you. I was proud of your first steps and your first laughs. Proud of you as you learn and proud of you as you grow. You will never have to do something monumental in order to impress me. The only thing I want from you is for you to be a good person and to be happy. That alone will make me proud.
32. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. They would be lying. You can do whatever you want to do. You can be whatever it is that you wish. I hope that those things are good things, but be prepared that doing good takes more effort than the bad.
33. Be curious about the world. Ask questions, and don't allow others to keep knowledge away from you. If something feels wrong, it usually is. Know what you are getting into, because ignorance is not always bliss.
34. Do not allow money to buy your happiness or your loyalty.
35. You are in control of your actions, your emotions and your life. Only you can make decisions for yourself. Chose to be happy. Chose to be kind. Chose to be good. Chose to be trustworthy and friendly, to be outgoing and exploratory, to be faithful and serving, to be a survivor and never a victim, to be a positive person and to believe in yourself and others. Chose to LIVE and not let life pass you by worrying about what others think say and do.
I know there will be more that I need to say. More that I need to teach. I hope to do so in a manner so that they will remember. So that they will listen. I wish I had, rather than being so stubborn. There is nothing in my past that I regret. I am happy with who I am today and I know that all of my past experiences have shaped and molded me. I do however hope to spare my children from some of the messes that I had to clean up, and the awful feeling it is to know that you are the reason for someone else's pain. In time they will know all of these things, and more, but for now I can relax knowing that I still have time where they really are just my babies. That I can rock them, hold them, kiss away the boo-boos and distract them when I need to. I just wish time moved as slowly watching them as it did when I was in gym class in high school.
Every day they grow more. They are using full sentences and talking clearly. Ellie is officially potty trained and I don't have to follow behind her every few minutes to make sure she is not peeing on the steps... or pooping in the kitchen... again. The faster they grow the more I realize that there are so many things that I have to teach them. They need to know a million things about the world, and with each day that passes they come closer and closer to experiencing life for themselves.
I both fear and anticipate the day that they get to go off and meet the world, the real world, with their own eyes and minds, but before they can do that there are some very important things they need to know.
1. Nothing you can do will ever make me love you less. You are going to make mistakes, you will hurt me and disappoint me, I will heal and I will always be your Mommy.
2. Be kind to others. This sounds cliche, but its not. It's important to be kind and loving. It's important not to hurt others, they will be hurt enough by the world, don't add to their pain, take away from it.
3. Never be a bully. Never point out someones flaws and use it to hurt them. You too are flawed. You are not any better than them, and God does not want you to judge anyone. That is for Him and Him alone. You should stand up for anyone being picked on, even if it places you in the line of fire.
4. You are Beautiful just the way God made you and I grew you. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body, and accentuating your beauty, but nothing about you needs to be removed or enlarged. Do not hide your individual beauty from the world. (unless it is in an inappropriate place, in which case you should save that for your spouse.)
5. Your father and I are not naive. We too have done things that we are not proud of, things we knew were wrong and things we thought we got away with and didn't. That does not mean that we will be the types of parents to let you get away with whatever. You will have rules, and we will have standards. If you fail to abide by them there will be consequences.
6. Use your manners. Please, Thankyou, Bless You, Excuse Me, Sorry, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir etc. These are not only polite, but contagious. In a world of rude and disrespectful people it will not only make you stand out as a good person, but using your manners will distinguish you from people with little character.
7. Be an honest person. Nobody likes to be lied to, and if you lie to others, you open the door to be lied to. Be honest and never allow someone to believe something that you know not to be true. Lying by omission is lying.
8. It does not matter what others are doing, it matters that you do what you feel is the right thing to do. You will feel pressure to do and say things that you know are wrong, things that you know we would not approve of. Doing these things anyways will only result in you feeling badly about yourself and will not lead down any path that you will want to take.
9. Have a positive self image. Having struggled for years I speak from experience when I say that not only does self hatred lead you to make poor decisions, but it changes who you are on the inside. It makes you less attractive to others, it leaves behind negativity and negativity duplicates itself without your permission. You should never allow something like that to take hold in your heart.
10. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Your feelings and opinions matter. Don't ever let someone tell you that they don't.
11. Cleaning up after yourself may be annoying and unpleasant, but cleaning up after someone else is even worse. Learn to take care of that at an early age so it becomes habit, trying to teach yourself later in life is really hard.
12. Take care of the things that you have. It does not matter if it was cheap or expensive, given to you or you paid for it. Take pride in having nice things, and caring for the things you have. If you don't you will end up with nothing.
13. Spend time with your family whenever you get the chance. They are important, and they may not always be here. Cherish the time you have with them. Make memories together and never blow them off for no reason. Sleep can wait, your friends can wait, television is not that important.
14. Technology is wonderful, but it does not replace quality time. You still need to make eye contact, have in person conversations, and pay attention. Turn the TV off, put the cell phone away and turn off the games. They will wait.
15. Respect your elders. You don't really need a reason, just do it.
16. Don't rush to grow up. You are not going to miss out on anything by staying a child a little longer, but you will miss out if you decide you don't want to be one anymore. I know how hard it is to wait for things, but trust me, anything worth having is worth waiting for.
17. Take the nap. One day you will wish you had, like me. But instead you will be awake with your 3 year old who refuses to take one wondering why you ever wanted to skip nap time when you were his age. You are keeping me from napping... just take the nap!
18. It's ok to get messy. As long as you are not wearing your nice clothes and we are not on the way out the door. Play outside, touch dirt, get paint in your hair and play in the rain. I am not telling you to eat other peoples gum off the ground or anything, but don't be afraid of a little dirt.
19. Be gentle to animals. They can not tell you what they have been through. They deserve love and respect just like humans. Never torture or intentionally hurt an animal. It is not funny, it is cruel. They have memories and pain just like we do.
20. Always keep your word. If you make a promise you stand by it. If for some reason you can't you make sure that there is a good reason, and that you are honest and forthcoming about it.
21. Try your best, but it is ok to fail. You are not always going to be the winner. You will not always be the best. Sometimes you may come dead last, but as long as you put forth every effort you could, it was good enough. Try again. There is no shame in taking more than one shot at something. The only shame to be had is in giving up. That is when you become a failure.
22. Try new things. Do things you don't want to. You will be surprised to find there are things you really like that you never would have thought you would. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. It will grow you as a person and make you more relateable and approachable.
23. Laugh often. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others. Laugh at life's little moments. Nobody likes someone who is always serious, and laughing is good for your soul.
24. It is ok to cry. The world is an emotional place. Do not be ashamed to show your emotions to others, but do not allow them to rule you either. Find a happy medium, and remember logic when making decisions.
25. Love whole heartedly. It's important to give your heart away, but that does not mean that everyone you give it to will be gentle with it, or worthy of it. Don't allow fear of being hurt stop you from loving life and loving others.
26. It is important to share. Share what you have with those who have less. Share with your friends, Share the word of God, share your possessions and share your joy.
27. Life will hurt you. When it does I will be here. I may not be happy about your decisions, I may not agree with you. I will not tell you what you want to hear in order to spare your feelings, but I will Always Always Always hold out my arms to you and hold you until it stops hurting.
28. You will always be my little babies. JT, you are my first born, to me you will always be my handsome. When you are a man I will still look in your eyes and see the day that my world changed. The day that I stopped being Stacey and became Mommy. To me your eyes will always belong to a 6lb 15 oz blonde haired, blue eyed baby boy. Ellie, I am sure that you will test my patience more as an adult than you do as a toddler, but there will never be a day that you will not be my little girl. I will want to protect you and smother you with love and advice until the day I die. I will do my best to keep your Daddy from running off every boyfriend you ever have, but I make no promises. Dont hold either of these against me. It is how I am designed and one day you will understand.
29. One day you will be grown and getting married. When that day comes I hope you remember that relationships are not easy. They take a lot more work than you are expecting and there will be days when you want to give up. A marriage is a commitment that you make, and if you are both willing than no matter how hard things get you can make it. No love is perfect. No person is perfect. Your father and I have had our good share of rough days and we have only been together for 7 years. I can only imagine that there will be more in the years before you read this. If you give yourself a way out, its always an option. Human nature is to take the easy road.
30. You will never understand why I say the things I say, and do the things I do until you become a parent. Your whole world changes in the blink of an eye and suddenly you will realize that so many things make sense. Your hearts will grow and your views will change. I expect us to fight and disagree, just as I did with your grandpa.
31. Never forget that I am proud of you. I was proud of your first steps and your first laughs. Proud of you as you learn and proud of you as you grow. You will never have to do something monumental in order to impress me. The only thing I want from you is for you to be a good person and to be happy. That alone will make me proud.
32. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. They would be lying. You can do whatever you want to do. You can be whatever it is that you wish. I hope that those things are good things, but be prepared that doing good takes more effort than the bad.
33. Be curious about the world. Ask questions, and don't allow others to keep knowledge away from you. If something feels wrong, it usually is. Know what you are getting into, because ignorance is not always bliss.
34. Do not allow money to buy your happiness or your loyalty.
35. You are in control of your actions, your emotions and your life. Only you can make decisions for yourself. Chose to be happy. Chose to be kind. Chose to be good. Chose to be trustworthy and friendly, to be outgoing and exploratory, to be faithful and serving, to be a survivor and never a victim, to be a positive person and to believe in yourself and others. Chose to LIVE and not let life pass you by worrying about what others think say and do.
I know there will be more that I need to say. More that I need to teach. I hope to do so in a manner so that they will remember. So that they will listen. I wish I had, rather than being so stubborn. There is nothing in my past that I regret. I am happy with who I am today and I know that all of my past experiences have shaped and molded me. I do however hope to spare my children from some of the messes that I had to clean up, and the awful feeling it is to know that you are the reason for someone else's pain. In time they will know all of these things, and more, but for now I can relax knowing that I still have time where they really are just my babies. That I can rock them, hold them, kiss away the boo-boos and distract them when I need to. I just wish time moved as slowly watching them as it did when I was in gym class in high school.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
How Ellie Scared the Pants off her Mama.
This past weekend was one filled with family time. We don't really have many weekends around here that are not jammed full of things to do, so we like to take advantage when we can. We decided to go downtown Saturday, to pay a visit to a friend who owns a jewelry store. Ian needed a watch fixed and my mom had a ring there that was being repaired. While we were waiting, the kids were playing a version of Ring Around the Rosie.
Ellie, being the patience tester that she is was not in the mood to listen. The moment that Ian walked into a store, leaving me outside with both children, Ellie decided to take off running towards a group of St. Patrick's Day celebrators. Picture me- 7.5 months pregnant running down the streets after a toddler who can clearly move faster than her short chubby legs should allow- with JT following after us leaving my purse sitting on the ground where we started.
A few minutes after Ian came back outside we were standing there talking with the kids walking around and around on a grate in the sidewalk, when Ellie decided to take off between 2 of the parallel parked cars and into the road. Of course there are 10-15 people staring with their mouths open as Ian runs full speed into the street to catch her. Ellie thought it was hilarious, and did exactly what she does every other time we chase her- runs faster. She made it about 3/4 of the way into the lane before Ian caught her. She received her first public spanking. We are blessed that there happen to be no cars coming at the time.
I held it together long enough to explain to her that she could really be hurt. That she was not to EVER do that again and that it was not funny, it was scary. I was proud of myself for not losing it. I gave her a hug, told her I loved her and showed her that the cars were driving by and that they could not see her because she was too little. Then JT gave her a hug and told her that what she did was "too dangerous." His utter concern for her safety has always touched me. He is a great big brother.
That is when I lost it. Standing in the middle of downtown, tears streaming down my face trying to hold back sobs and a million things are racing in my mind.
What would I do if I lost her? She may be a pain in my rear end, and there are days where I am convinced that she will be the sole reason for my loss of sanity, but she is irreplaceable. I admire my cousin for her strength to keep going after she last her little girl last year. I tear up every time I think about how hard that must be for her every single day, and how much strength it must take to look her little boy in the eyes after losing a child. She may not know it, but she is my hero.
How on EARTH could I bond with our son who is coming in a few short weeks if something were to happen to her? That is not nearly enough time to grieve, how could I show a new child love if I were to lose one?
My little sister just lost the use of her legs, what if that were to happen to Ellie? How would you explain something like that to a 2 year old? It has been hard enough for my sister and she is 10, a toddlers brain is not capable of processing that kind of information.
Good GOD we are BLESSED. I may have a thousand little complaints, about the house not being clean, or not seeing my husband enough. About wanting to do things that I am not capable of doing right now, aches and pains that I wish I did not have, but on the other hand... I have 2 beautiful and healthy children, another on the way. We have a house and animals, we love each other and we have all of our basic needs met. We have everything we need and most of the things we want. We are blessed to have mostly positive attitudes and be healthy and happy. I would do well to remember that more often.
Needless to say, Ellie gave this momma a good scare. We went for frozen yogurt at Sammy T's after that, and even though it was beautiful outside and noisy inside, we sat at one of the aluminum tables and enjoyed ourselves within the confines of the tiny store instead of allowing any roads to be too close for comfort. I will not be braving any more trips without a stroller or cart that will require waiting for any length of time, especially outside where people are driving around. And I am thankful that Porter is almost here so that I will have the double stroller at all times again and I can strap her in to that 5 point harness, and breathe a little easier.
My children are my world. without them I have no idea what kind of person I would be, where I would be in life and what I would be doing daily, but that little scare made me even more grateful for everything I do have, including the ability to stay home with them daily, and raise them the way I think they should be raised and discipline them the way I think they should be disciplined. It also made me realize that my husband is by far the most fabulous man I have met. (aside from my Daddy of course, because if you know him, you already know he is awesome, and if you don't know him you should. He is super cool and you are missing out) I could not ask for a better husband, and I appreciate his ability to watch me cry in the middle of downtown, give me a hug and tell me that I am still pretty when I am red and blotchy--- who can tell he has done this pregnancy thing a time or two??
Ellie, being the patience tester that she is was not in the mood to listen. The moment that Ian walked into a store, leaving me outside with both children, Ellie decided to take off running towards a group of St. Patrick's Day celebrators. Picture me- 7.5 months pregnant running down the streets after a toddler who can clearly move faster than her short chubby legs should allow- with JT following after us leaving my purse sitting on the ground where we started.
A few minutes after Ian came back outside we were standing there talking with the kids walking around and around on a grate in the sidewalk, when Ellie decided to take off between 2 of the parallel parked cars and into the road. Of course there are 10-15 people staring with their mouths open as Ian runs full speed into the street to catch her. Ellie thought it was hilarious, and did exactly what she does every other time we chase her- runs faster. She made it about 3/4 of the way into the lane before Ian caught her. She received her first public spanking. We are blessed that there happen to be no cars coming at the time.
I held it together long enough to explain to her that she could really be hurt. That she was not to EVER do that again and that it was not funny, it was scary. I was proud of myself for not losing it. I gave her a hug, told her I loved her and showed her that the cars were driving by and that they could not see her because she was too little. Then JT gave her a hug and told her that what she did was "too dangerous." His utter concern for her safety has always touched me. He is a great big brother.
That is when I lost it. Standing in the middle of downtown, tears streaming down my face trying to hold back sobs and a million things are racing in my mind.
What would I do if I lost her? She may be a pain in my rear end, and there are days where I am convinced that she will be the sole reason for my loss of sanity, but she is irreplaceable. I admire my cousin for her strength to keep going after she last her little girl last year. I tear up every time I think about how hard that must be for her every single day, and how much strength it must take to look her little boy in the eyes after losing a child. She may not know it, but she is my hero.
How on EARTH could I bond with our son who is coming in a few short weeks if something were to happen to her? That is not nearly enough time to grieve, how could I show a new child love if I were to lose one?
My little sister just lost the use of her legs, what if that were to happen to Ellie? How would you explain something like that to a 2 year old? It has been hard enough for my sister and she is 10, a toddlers brain is not capable of processing that kind of information.
Good GOD we are BLESSED. I may have a thousand little complaints, about the house not being clean, or not seeing my husband enough. About wanting to do things that I am not capable of doing right now, aches and pains that I wish I did not have, but on the other hand... I have 2 beautiful and healthy children, another on the way. We have a house and animals, we love each other and we have all of our basic needs met. We have everything we need and most of the things we want. We are blessed to have mostly positive attitudes and be healthy and happy. I would do well to remember that more often.
Needless to say, Ellie gave this momma a good scare. We went for frozen yogurt at Sammy T's after that, and even though it was beautiful outside and noisy inside, we sat at one of the aluminum tables and enjoyed ourselves within the confines of the tiny store instead of allowing any roads to be too close for comfort. I will not be braving any more trips without a stroller or cart that will require waiting for any length of time, especially outside where people are driving around. And I am thankful that Porter is almost here so that I will have the double stroller at all times again and I can strap her in to that 5 point harness, and breathe a little easier.
My children are my world. without them I have no idea what kind of person I would be, where I would be in life and what I would be doing daily, but that little scare made me even more grateful for everything I do have, including the ability to stay home with them daily, and raise them the way I think they should be raised and discipline them the way I think they should be disciplined. It also made me realize that my husband is by far the most fabulous man I have met. (aside from my Daddy of course, because if you know him, you already know he is awesome, and if you don't know him you should. He is super cool and you are missing out) I could not ask for a better husband, and I appreciate his ability to watch me cry in the middle of downtown, give me a hug and tell me that I am still pretty when I am red and blotchy--- who can tell he has done this pregnancy thing a time or two??
Friday, March 8, 2013
The Wonderful World of Google
Apparently there IS a downside to Google. Obviously Google is amazing, I mean do you remember how we found things out before Google?? The LIBRARY... (gasp!) Now I know there are a few people reading this who are younger than me, so let me clarify... That is a place you go to read books, yup, they make those in paper form. And Google was not always around, we used to have to look things up in Encyclopedias. OH the HORROR! I mean real social interaction, face to face, and we used to have to HAND WRITE those book reports. Can you imagine?
Now I can look up whatever I want to on my cell phone, while in the bathroom, in line at the grocery store or sitting on my couch. And Google knows everything. Like when your little brother does something silly, or you make a gingerbread house in German class in high school. Today I found out that Google also knows things like when someone who has the same name as you gets arrested for being a Meth dealer. SWEET.
Obviously it's not fair to look up yourself using your married name, you have to go maiden or go home. So, a 44 yr. old woman named Stacey Lynn Linkenhoker was arrested in 2009 in GA. She and her boyfriend apparently lived at a storage facility (I assume they ran the place, as most facilities of this nature do have live on site attendants) and were dealing drugs on the premises. It was part of a huge undercover sting and there were a bunch of other people dealing for them. She appears to have several other charges including Possession of Marijuana, Failure to comply with court drug orders, failure to appear and a few others. She was also on the run for a little while. She seems like a real winner.
Her mugshots are great too. You should look it up, it's rather interesting and provides some entertainment when you are having a rough day.
On the upside, I am not in my 40's and I don't live in GA so we can not get confused for one another. Nor have I ever done Meth. . A huge upside in my opinion.
I do love Google, and do not fault it for providing true and accurate (as well as occasionally skewed ) information. I feel that you have to take Google results with a grain of salt and decide for yourself if the link you click is a trustworthy one. But if you ever get bored you can look up all sorts of amazing things. . like who you were in your past life, and how peanut butter is made. Google away my friends.
Now I can look up whatever I want to on my cell phone, while in the bathroom, in line at the grocery store or sitting on my couch. And Google knows everything. Like when your little brother does something silly, or you make a gingerbread house in German class in high school. Today I found out that Google also knows things like when someone who has the same name as you gets arrested for being a Meth dealer. SWEET.
Obviously it's not fair to look up yourself using your married name, you have to go maiden or go home. So, a 44 yr. old woman named Stacey Lynn Linkenhoker was arrested in 2009 in GA. She and her boyfriend apparently lived at a storage facility (I assume they ran the place, as most facilities of this nature do have live on site attendants) and were dealing drugs on the premises. It was part of a huge undercover sting and there were a bunch of other people dealing for them. She appears to have several other charges including Possession of Marijuana, Failure to comply with court drug orders, failure to appear and a few others. She was also on the run for a little while. She seems like a real winner.
Her mugshots are great too. You should look it up, it's rather interesting and provides some entertainment when you are having a rough day.
On the upside, I am not in my 40's and I don't live in GA so we can not get confused for one another. Nor have I ever done Meth. . A huge upside in my opinion.
I do love Google, and do not fault it for providing true and accurate (as well as occasionally skewed ) information. I feel that you have to take Google results with a grain of salt and decide for yourself if the link you click is a trustworthy one. But if you ever get bored you can look up all sorts of amazing things. . like who you were in your past life, and how peanut butter is made. Google away my friends.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Holy Stress Relief
It's been a fabulous week. Honestly. I have been under a lot of stress lately, with court looming over my head and a 3 hour glucose test to take, my thyroid is off and we had some things to straighten out with health insurance to insure that my pregnancy and delivery were going to be covered. Lots of money threatening to be owed and very little I could do except submit paperwork . . and wait. . . and have blood work done, which if you know anything about me means tears.
Insurance is taken care of and the glucose test is tomorrow... (insert groaning and shuttering here). Court though was my most feared and dreaded part of all this stress. To simplify- VCU was suing me for a semester of classes that I did not attend. I attempted to withdraw from the classes and somewhere along the line paperwork was not filed properly. VCU states that it was my responsibility, I argued that I did my part. Unfortunately the e-mails needed to prove that were deleted from their system and unrecoverable, so I had to do my best to provide enough evidence for a judge to agree with me. It was tough, and I cried alot, and I yelled at my husband a few times. The whole process started almost a year ago. In September I won the original case, Commonwealth of Virginia decided to appeal and drag me through months of more paperwork, emails, calls and drives to Richmond, but the date was today. After several months of panic attacks and lost sleep I have won.
After all was said and done a grand total of almost $14,000 was at stake. I was so relieved to simply have this trial over, having shook the entire time and felt like I was going to hurl all over the witnesses, that I was crying before it registered to me that I had actually won. I shook hands with the attorney and walked out of the room with tears streaming down my face. I have learned a very valuable lesson though. Never ever ever trust that something is taken care of by word of someone without keeping proof when your butt and salary are on the line.
So far this week we have received some good news on the part of my little sister, who as most of you know was recently paralyzed from the waist down during a surgery on her back. She has made a few minor improvements, and at this point any and all improvements are considered a huge step and a great sign that one day she may recover from this. I know so many of you have been keeping her in your prayers and I am tremendously grateful to each of you for your support. I believe that she will carry on with her life, and that this speed bump will not stop her from whatever she puts her stubborn mind to.
While driving north on Wednesday (the day I had Ian take off work because I THOUGHT that was the day of court, luckily he caught my error at 11 pm Tuesday) the rear wheel bearing blew on Ian. Just over $500 later we can pick the car up tomorrow. They had to replace the whole spindle and he was very lucky to not have wrecked our car as it jerked him across the lane on 95. I am thankful that he is safe, and also that he was the driver that day and not me. Being a service technician his field requires that he drive a lot. Driving all over VA and MD daily he was able to handle the car and pull into a shop. He did still receive great news that day, but that is news I will let him share.
Overall, despite a few small rearrangements in plans, I am a much less stressed person this evening. With any grace I will be receiving good news on the Glucose test and since I already received confirmation on the insurance that we are good to go I can finally stop stressing about so many other things and get ready to have this baby. Maybe now I can stop dreaming (or having nightmares) about court and blood work and diabetic menus and instead dream about more fun things, like vacations, and what Porter will look like and yummy food. mmmmm I should Pinterest some goodies.
Insurance is taken care of and the glucose test is tomorrow... (insert groaning and shuttering here). Court though was my most feared and dreaded part of all this stress. To simplify- VCU was suing me for a semester of classes that I did not attend. I attempted to withdraw from the classes and somewhere along the line paperwork was not filed properly. VCU states that it was my responsibility, I argued that I did my part. Unfortunately the e-mails needed to prove that were deleted from their system and unrecoverable, so I had to do my best to provide enough evidence for a judge to agree with me. It was tough, and I cried alot, and I yelled at my husband a few times. The whole process started almost a year ago. In September I won the original case, Commonwealth of Virginia decided to appeal and drag me through months of more paperwork, emails, calls and drives to Richmond, but the date was today. After several months of panic attacks and lost sleep I have won.
After all was said and done a grand total of almost $14,000 was at stake. I was so relieved to simply have this trial over, having shook the entire time and felt like I was going to hurl all over the witnesses, that I was crying before it registered to me that I had actually won. I shook hands with the attorney and walked out of the room with tears streaming down my face. I have learned a very valuable lesson though. Never ever ever trust that something is taken care of by word of someone without keeping proof when your butt and salary are on the line.
So far this week we have received some good news on the part of my little sister, who as most of you know was recently paralyzed from the waist down during a surgery on her back. She has made a few minor improvements, and at this point any and all improvements are considered a huge step and a great sign that one day she may recover from this. I know so many of you have been keeping her in your prayers and I am tremendously grateful to each of you for your support. I believe that she will carry on with her life, and that this speed bump will not stop her from whatever she puts her stubborn mind to.
While driving north on Wednesday (the day I had Ian take off work because I THOUGHT that was the day of court, luckily he caught my error at 11 pm Tuesday) the rear wheel bearing blew on Ian. Just over $500 later we can pick the car up tomorrow. They had to replace the whole spindle and he was very lucky to not have wrecked our car as it jerked him across the lane on 95. I am thankful that he is safe, and also that he was the driver that day and not me. Being a service technician his field requires that he drive a lot. Driving all over VA and MD daily he was able to handle the car and pull into a shop. He did still receive great news that day, but that is news I will let him share.
Overall, despite a few small rearrangements in plans, I am a much less stressed person this evening. With any grace I will be receiving good news on the Glucose test and since I already received confirmation on the insurance that we are good to go I can finally stop stressing about so many other things and get ready to have this baby. Maybe now I can stop dreaming (or having nightmares) about court and blood work and diabetic menus and instead dream about more fun things, like vacations, and what Porter will look like and yummy food. mmmmm I should Pinterest some goodies.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
One of those days.
Maybe it's because they are 2 and 3. Maybe it's because I am in my third trimester and they are aware that a baby is about to forever infringe on Mommy Territory. Maybe it's because Ian has been working late so often, leaving me with little alone time. It could possibly just be me. Whatever the reason, my kids are driving me nuts.
They are so stinkin' cute. They are sweet and they want to snuggle... and fight and scream and tell me no, and tear down every toy they own, and not eat whatever it is that I make them, and touch me NON STOP. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that aside, I also woke up with a notification from my pregnancy app informing me that I have approximately 10 weeks left before Porter makes his debut, and that my uterus is larger than a basketball at this point. As if I didn't already know that since I have not seen my feet in about 12 weeks, which is cool since they are swollen and achy and I can't reach them to paint my toes anyways. Not to mention those averages are geared towards first time mothers, and this is not my first rodeo, making mine what.. the size of the universe?
Don't get me wrong. I am much happier being a stay at home mom than I would be going to work, and I would never ever trade places with a working mom. Respect to those of you who do it, but it's not for me. Sometimes though it's the stay at home part that gets to you. You are all couped up in your house (which, with it being winter and not getting as much air through it, sometimes smells stale.. or terrible- something that stands out to you when you have the smelling capacity of a hound dog) and you can either do 2 things some days... Go crazy trying to keep it clean with animals and children running and screaming and knocking things over and shedding.. OR .. Sit and stare at the mess that you are going to have to waddle around to clean up. It's truly an attractive sight. The waddling I mean.
It's amazing how much space a 2 and a half pound baby inside of you can take up, and how much energy is needed to handle normal tasks, like putting on your own shoes, so I switched to my purple slippers. Don't care if they match, don't care that they are obviously hard soled slippers. They go on with little effort and my feet are going to swell while I walk anyways, so what's it matter.
Oh yeah.. Back to the kids I already birthed--- Seriously, what language do I have to speak for them to understand that I don't always want to be touched by sticky fingers and kissed with snotty noses . . Or, in Ellie's case, That the kitchen floor is not a proper place to drop a deuce. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It's like I am raising monkeys some days. I have no idea how they get into some of the things they reach. Without trying to sound paranoid, I some days legitimately think they wake up with a plan to break me down.
And then there's the dog. She has been so much better lately. (Notice the lack of Reha inspired blogs lately) She is starting to listen, and I don't have to lock her away every time I have company. Aside from some trash, and cat food cans the only thing she has even destroyed lately are some food bowls. . . I guess that deserves some clarification. She broke the middle out of her ceramic dog bowl. A full year and she decides it was time for a new one. Rather than running to the store to buy one we started using a metal mixing bowl, whose sole purpose before Reha's meal delivery was Ian's cereal bowl. This was decided after she shredded two separate tupperware containers. This idiot dog put a hole in it. How is this possible you ask? Great question, we would like to know the same. She has already chipped both of her K9's, we assume on the grate of the dog cage, but I am not positive on that. So with only two chipped teeth (and by chipped I mean half the tooth is missing) how did she manage it? Also, how did she demolish several unopened cans of cat food? Ate right through them and licked the food out, resulting in some awful smelling gas on her part I might add.
Today, of all days, the day that I have been fighting off panic that I have such little time to accomplish a mile and half long list of things I want done BEFORE Porter comes, Reha decides to escape out the back door while I am in the tub. Thankfully she is dumb and always goes to the same places, and all my neighbors know she belongs here. Two of my neighbors come to return her and I am forced to open the door in a bath towel. Fabulous.Then I discovered she ate the rest of my chili cheese dog before escaping. I sincerely hope it burns her hind end on the way out.
In an effort to show my day some sort of mercy, my sister (who spent the evening in the emergency room with some breathing difficulties and a terrible chest cold) took both of my children to the store to get her prescriptions filled. What do they do? Of course they both fall asleep, which means they will want to stay awake extra late tonight and I have already contemplated locking them in their rooms... and watching something with a half naked Channing Tatum. . what am I talking about Channing Tatum doesn't even own an entire outfit.. He relishes showing off his rock hard abs. . and tonight I shall enjoy every moment of it.
Rather than wallowing in my own stress I have decided to Thank God for a few things. . like chocolate, drive thru pharmacies, steam cleaners, Gold Canyon Candles (seriously amazing. A million times better than Yankee Candles, and I have a friend who sells them if you don't believe me), and being able to buy a second vehicle this week.
On that note, I am on my way to raid the freezer, and I hope everyone else had a better day than I.
They are so stinkin' cute. They are sweet and they want to snuggle... and fight and scream and tell me no, and tear down every toy they own, and not eat whatever it is that I make them, and touch me NON STOP. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that aside, I also woke up with a notification from my pregnancy app informing me that I have approximately 10 weeks left before Porter makes his debut, and that my uterus is larger than a basketball at this point. As if I didn't already know that since I have not seen my feet in about 12 weeks, which is cool since they are swollen and achy and I can't reach them to paint my toes anyways. Not to mention those averages are geared towards first time mothers, and this is not my first rodeo, making mine what.. the size of the universe?
Don't get me wrong. I am much happier being a stay at home mom than I would be going to work, and I would never ever trade places with a working mom. Respect to those of you who do it, but it's not for me. Sometimes though it's the stay at home part that gets to you. You are all couped up in your house (which, with it being winter and not getting as much air through it, sometimes smells stale.. or terrible- something that stands out to you when you have the smelling capacity of a hound dog) and you can either do 2 things some days... Go crazy trying to keep it clean with animals and children running and screaming and knocking things over and shedding.. OR .. Sit and stare at the mess that you are going to have to waddle around to clean up. It's truly an attractive sight. The waddling I mean.
It's amazing how much space a 2 and a half pound baby inside of you can take up, and how much energy is needed to handle normal tasks, like putting on your own shoes, so I switched to my purple slippers. Don't care if they match, don't care that they are obviously hard soled slippers. They go on with little effort and my feet are going to swell while I walk anyways, so what's it matter.
Oh yeah.. Back to the kids I already birthed--- Seriously, what language do I have to speak for them to understand that I don't always want to be touched by sticky fingers and kissed with snotty noses . . Or, in Ellie's case, That the kitchen floor is not a proper place to drop a deuce. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It's like I am raising monkeys some days. I have no idea how they get into some of the things they reach. Without trying to sound paranoid, I some days legitimately think they wake up with a plan to break me down.
And then there's the dog. She has been so much better lately. (Notice the lack of Reha inspired blogs lately) She is starting to listen, and I don't have to lock her away every time I have company. Aside from some trash, and cat food cans the only thing she has even destroyed lately are some food bowls. . . I guess that deserves some clarification. She broke the middle out of her ceramic dog bowl. A full year and she decides it was time for a new one. Rather than running to the store to buy one we started using a metal mixing bowl, whose sole purpose before Reha's meal delivery was Ian's cereal bowl. This was decided after she shredded two separate tupperware containers. This idiot dog put a hole in it. How is this possible you ask? Great question, we would like to know the same. She has already chipped both of her K9's, we assume on the grate of the dog cage, but I am not positive on that. So with only two chipped teeth (and by chipped I mean half the tooth is missing) how did she manage it? Also, how did she demolish several unopened cans of cat food? Ate right through them and licked the food out, resulting in some awful smelling gas on her part I might add.
Today, of all days, the day that I have been fighting off panic that I have such little time to accomplish a mile and half long list of things I want done BEFORE Porter comes, Reha decides to escape out the back door while I am in the tub. Thankfully she is dumb and always goes to the same places, and all my neighbors know she belongs here. Two of my neighbors come to return her and I am forced to open the door in a bath towel. Fabulous.Then I discovered she ate the rest of my chili cheese dog before escaping. I sincerely hope it burns her hind end on the way out.
In an effort to show my day some sort of mercy, my sister (who spent the evening in the emergency room with some breathing difficulties and a terrible chest cold) took both of my children to the store to get her prescriptions filled. What do they do? Of course they both fall asleep, which means they will want to stay awake extra late tonight and I have already contemplated locking them in their rooms... and watching something with a half naked Channing Tatum. . what am I talking about Channing Tatum doesn't even own an entire outfit.. He relishes showing off his rock hard abs. . and tonight I shall enjoy every moment of it.
Rather than wallowing in my own stress I have decided to Thank God for a few things. . like chocolate, drive thru pharmacies, steam cleaners, Gold Canyon Candles (seriously amazing. A million times better than Yankee Candles, and I have a friend who sells them if you don't believe me), and being able to buy a second vehicle this week.
On that note, I am on my way to raid the freezer, and I hope everyone else had a better day than I.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
lazy days
I admit it, there are days where nothing but Netflix marathons are accomplished in my house. Some mixture of Dora, Diego and a few other shows like Pingu (a Swedish cartoon with no talking about some penguins that live in igloos), Power Rangers, this stupid crayon show, Curious George, occasionally Godzilla or Bananas in Pyjamas, Martha Speaks, some Woody Woodpecker and Oscar's Oasis (another cartoon without talking but its about a lizard in the dessert and JT thinks it is HILARIOUS).
Of course if Ellie had her say so we would never do anything but watch Dora and Diego,, fortunately for my sanity JT overrides and he is the one who knows how to work the xbox controller so he generally wins. While television may be rotting their brains at some points they have also learned a variety of useful and entertaining information from a few of the shows. They love to watch Team Umi Zoomi which is not on Netflix, as well as a few other educational shows.
In the past week I have encountered a wide variety of their knowledge in action. For instance:
Ellie told me that she needed to get out of the car because a Puma was going to get her. Mainly she just wanted out of her carseat, as she has a severe aversion to it after spending a whole weekend driving here and there . Later in the same day she looked me in the face and said "Mommy, you carry me? I can't step on the bal-canos (Volcanoes)." JT then chimes in and says.. "yeah, cause they go HUH-BOOOM"
A few days later Ellie told Ian in the morning to close our bedroom door because the dinosaurs were coming. I mean honestly child, can you at least chose realistic animals???
JT demonstrates his knowledge in a slightly different manner. . Generally by riding around on his dino head on a stick with his cowboy hat on screaming to the top of his lungs "I a cowboy, YEEHAW, Giddie up horsie" or "mommy I a superhero, I has powers." followed by pressing some imaginary picture on his shirt and running through the house or jumping around kicking. Today however he taught me something new..
Ellie, the lovely child she is, dumped half a bag of Goldfish on my floor. . thankfully I had just used my new Dyson and I was not willing to waste a pound of yummy Goldfish. As I am yelling at Ellie to clean them up JT backs up to the doorway and runs full force and jumps into the pile on the floor screaming "CANNON BALL!!!"
Now how do you expect me to keep a straight face after that?? Naturally my neighbor Andrea, who is a self proclaimed Goldfish addict, and has no children yet, has a little bit less self control and is literally bent over in the doorway laughing so hard that I can't even hear her. So JT sees this as an invitation to repeat. I need to vacuum again.
Ellie has also learned a bit of Spanish, extended her vocabulary and I heard her count to 10 yesterday. JT has learned some more words, lots of animals and shapes, and somewhere he picked up how to work the laptop. Together they have learned a few songs, like this one.. Which Ellie sings in the car non stop.
They really are great kids, and if my Daddy taught me anything in life it was that you have children for 2 reasons: Slave Labor, and your own personal amusement. Trust me my children are both.
Of course if Ellie had her say so we would never do anything but watch Dora and Diego,, fortunately for my sanity JT overrides and he is the one who knows how to work the xbox controller so he generally wins. While television may be rotting their brains at some points they have also learned a variety of useful and entertaining information from a few of the shows. They love to watch Team Umi Zoomi which is not on Netflix, as well as a few other educational shows.
In the past week I have encountered a wide variety of their knowledge in action. For instance:
Ellie told me that she needed to get out of the car because a Puma was going to get her. Mainly she just wanted out of her carseat, as she has a severe aversion to it after spending a whole weekend driving here and there . Later in the same day she looked me in the face and said "Mommy, you carry me? I can't step on the bal-canos (Volcanoes)." JT then chimes in and says.. "yeah, cause they go HUH-BOOOM"
A few days later Ellie told Ian in the morning to close our bedroom door because the dinosaurs were coming. I mean honestly child, can you at least chose realistic animals???
JT demonstrates his knowledge in a slightly different manner. . Generally by riding around on his dino head on a stick with his cowboy hat on screaming to the top of his lungs "I a cowboy, YEEHAW, Giddie up horsie" or "mommy I a superhero, I has powers." followed by pressing some imaginary picture on his shirt and running through the house or jumping around kicking. Today however he taught me something new..
Ellie, the lovely child she is, dumped half a bag of Goldfish on my floor. . thankfully I had just used my new Dyson and I was not willing to waste a pound of yummy Goldfish. As I am yelling at Ellie to clean them up JT backs up to the doorway and runs full force and jumps into the pile on the floor screaming "CANNON BALL!!!"
Now how do you expect me to keep a straight face after that?? Naturally my neighbor Andrea, who is a self proclaimed Goldfish addict, and has no children yet, has a little bit less self control and is literally bent over in the doorway laughing so hard that I can't even hear her. So JT sees this as an invitation to repeat. I need to vacuum again.
Ellie has also learned a bit of Spanish, extended her vocabulary and I heard her count to 10 yesterday. JT has learned some more words, lots of animals and shapes, and somewhere he picked up how to work the laptop. Together they have learned a few songs, like this one.. Which Ellie sings in the car non stop.
They really are great kids, and if my Daddy taught me anything in life it was that you have children for 2 reasons: Slave Labor, and your own personal amusement. Trust me my children are both.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Welcome to life; A pamphlet of disillusionment.
I know I have said this before, but I really wish that there was a class in high school that taught you what adulthood was really like. If I had to study and pass a class that shared life's realities with me I think I would be a much better rounded person. Of course it would be like a 16 year old being talked to about speeding tickets.. we would have assumed that none of these things would ever happen to us... Not that I would know about getting a speeding ticket, (currently knocking on wood as I type one handed) I have only been pulled over once and it was for an out headlight. . Ian on the other hand.. speeder.
I have decided that one day I will volunteer at a local school to teach this class. It will be called "Welcome to Life, Where Your Opinions and Feelings Only Count If You Pay Your Bills On Time"
and here is the midterm:
1. Bill Collectors will call you :
a. Monday through Friday
b. Anytime day or night regardless of what time you went to bed, or if your child was up until 4 am vomiting.
c. Never, if you pay your bills before the due date.
d. You mean if I forget to turn something in people will hassle me for it rather than just let me slide?
2. Children will throw a fit:
a. When you are home.
b. Out in public in a busy store when you are running late, have to pee and realize that even though you thought you were finished shopping you forget both of the items you actually came to the store for, which are conveniently located in the back, and there is only 1 register open.
c. In the middle of a parking lot
d. As soon as your infant falls asleep for a much needed nap time when you have a bazillion things to do.
3. You will fight with your spouse/ significant other:
a. Immediately before a birthday party, family function or important gathering.
b. On a holiday
c. when you are way too tired to deal with this.
d.never, we will always talk patiently and work things out before going to bed. I won't even bother letting you chose this because you are delusional and it's a LIE.
4. Your bank account will overdraft at some point because :
a. Your spouse will conveniently forget they spent $50 on something you think is stupid.
b. You did not realize that a bill had not actually cleared your account and went out to dinner thinking you had the funds.
c. Gas stations don't post for several days when you fill up.
d. You thought that bill that comes out automatically was scheduled for the 15th, not the 10th.
e. you have no idea, but now you owe $275 in overdraft fees, because a $1.29 drink just cost you an additional $35, better have been the best damn Pepsi you ever had!
5. You will catch the worst cold of your life:
a. Conveniently on a weekend
b. When you have no vacation days left for the year
c. When you have something important to do at work
d. When your spouse is out of town, leaving you with the kids and family coming into town next week.
e. When both of the kids have been vomiting and the baby is teething, allowing you absolutely no down time.
f. When the doctor can't fit you in for another week.
g. When there is nothing for colds or pain relief in the house and the kids are finally asleep and the store is closed.
6. Tax season:
a. Will be exciting because you can finally pay off those credit cards and past due bills.
b. Will be dreaded because it will be gone 3 days later when all the above clear your account.
c. Will be stressful, since as soon as you finish and submit them you get another letter in the mail marked "Important Tax Document"
d. Will suck since you end up owing this year.
7. Your friends will:
a. Always be your friends and be there when you need them
b. Let you down without meaning to
c. Forget you exist once you have children
d. Start a bunch of drama that you thought was over in the 10th grade, but apparently even though you own a house we are all still 12
e. What friends? I haven't left the house without being covered in snot, breast milk or dog hair in 3 years.
f. Move far far away.
**** Next Semester we will cover the following:
I have decided that one day I will volunteer at a local school to teach this class. It will be called "Welcome to Life, Where Your Opinions and Feelings Only Count If You Pay Your Bills On Time"
and here is the midterm:
Midterm Exam: Things you will need to know, unlike how to divide fractions and the chemical makeup of rocks.
(select as many as apply)
1. Bill Collectors will call you :
a. Monday through Friday
b. Anytime day or night regardless of what time you went to bed, or if your child was up until 4 am vomiting.
c. Never, if you pay your bills before the due date.
d. You mean if I forget to turn something in people will hassle me for it rather than just let me slide?
2. Children will throw a fit:
a. When you are home.
b. Out in public in a busy store when you are running late, have to pee and realize that even though you thought you were finished shopping you forget both of the items you actually came to the store for, which are conveniently located in the back, and there is only 1 register open.
c. In the middle of a parking lot
d. As soon as your infant falls asleep for a much needed nap time when you have a bazillion things to do.
3. You will fight with your spouse/ significant other:
a. Immediately before a birthday party, family function or important gathering.
b. On a holiday
c. when you are way too tired to deal with this.
d.
4. Your bank account will overdraft at some point because :
a. Your spouse will conveniently forget they spent $50 on something you think is stupid.
b. You did not realize that a bill had not actually cleared your account and went out to dinner thinking you had the funds.
c. Gas stations don't post for several days when you fill up.
d. You thought that bill that comes out automatically was scheduled for the 15th, not the 10th.
e. you have no idea, but now you owe $275 in overdraft fees, because a $1.29 drink just cost you an additional $35, better have been the best damn Pepsi you ever had!
5. You will catch the worst cold of your life:
a. Conveniently on a weekend
b. When you have no vacation days left for the year
c. When you have something important to do at work
d. When your spouse is out of town, leaving you with the kids and family coming into town next week.
e. When both of the kids have been vomiting and the baby is teething, allowing you absolutely no down time.
f. When the doctor can't fit you in for another week.
g. When there is nothing for colds or pain relief in the house and the kids are finally asleep and the store is closed.
6. Tax season:
a. Will be exciting because you can finally pay off those credit cards and past due bills.
b. Will be dreaded because it will be gone 3 days later when all the above clear your account.
c. Will be stressful, since as soon as you finish and submit them you get another letter in the mail marked "Important Tax Document"
d. Will suck since you end up owing this year.
7. Your friends will:
a. Always be your friends and be there when you need them
b. Let you down without meaning to
c. Forget you exist once you have children
d. Start a bunch of drama that you thought was over in the 10th grade, but apparently even though you own a house we are all still 12
e. What friends? I haven't left the house without being covered in snot, breast milk or dog hair in 3 years.
f. Move far far away.
**** Next Semester we will cover the following:
-Failed relationships
-How voting works and the months of political mumbo jumbo that you will endure before any sort of election, which is always
- Why buying a house is about as hard as shoving a 400 lb person in your Civic trunk.
- Why your Honda is no longer cool
- Moving back in with your parents
- Mysterious charges on your bank statement
-Alcohol Poisoning and hangovers
- Personal Property tax (also known as "damn, how did I forget about that?"
-How to remove a boot from your vehicle in a bar parking lot when you forget about Personal Property Taxes
- Drug Dealing neighbors
-Paying your own car insurance, and how getting a ticket affects this.
For Extra Credit:
Go home and ask your parents who cleans the oven, the litter box and what a meal plan is.
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