Sunday night I went to the movies to see The Help with a really good friend. The kind of friend that even though we had not actually seen each other but maybe 2 times all summer was right there when I needed a night out. The kind of friend that is willing to let me ramble on about things that she does not care about, and do not directly affect her, and listen as if it were the most important thing in the world right then. The kind of friend that tells me her weaknesses, shares her insecurities and makes me laugh to the point of peeing myself because she knows that I understand completely whatever dumb thing she did.
We get to the movies and in the theatre to discover that we are the only ones watching that movie. So we pull out our snacks ( bought from wal-mart not the theatre because there is no way I am spending that much money on so little chocolate or candy if it is not from another country and going to make my problems disappear upon consumption). We pile our cracker-jacks (BTW on sale at said evil empire) and Hershey's drops and the largest box of Junior Mints I could find, next to the 2 large sodas and extra large popcorn that we did buy there..
yeah yeah.. you may bring up that we are both trying to lose weight, that that much sugar, caffeine and salt is a recipe for some serious skin problems and a few pounds that we will be complaining about next week.. To that I say this.. we both have gym memberships, more problems then a pound or two and I sell skin care products that will take away 15 years of aging.. I am not concerned with a pimple or 8.
We talk through half of the movie, and then on the way to our cars we strike up another conversation that lands us standing in the parking lot for an additional almost 2 hours. Pretty sure we both cried, {seriously we are women, moms and wives at that, and we talked for 2 hours you really expected there to be no tears? what planet do you live on???} we laughed a lot, and I came home in one of the best moods I have been in for weeks.
All this got me thinking... the label "friend" is placed on so many people in our lives. Yet we have different kinds of friends. The "friend" down the street that we say hello to but have never stepped in each others homes, the "friend" who we knew 5 years ago, but really don't talk to anymore unless we need something, the "friend" that we really don't even like but for some reason we still talk to and then.. we have the "friend" that we actually genuinely care about and love.
The definition of a friend according to Webster's dictionary is this: 1. a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance 2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
I thought about this all day. . . Why should I consider someone who is just an acquaintance a friend. Because I am a loving person, someone who puts myself out there and gives everything I have and things that I don't always have in order to help another, and I deserve to be surrounded by people who are the same way. I deserve to be surrounded by people who WANT to spend time with me, and have no interest in only doing so in order to not feel guilty about asking favors from me.
So I would like to take the time on this blog to say something to that friend. You know who you are, and I know you are reading this.
You are a kind, smart, loving and hilarious person. You have had your problems in the past, and they have done nothing except make you an even better friend and mother in my eyes. I am inspired by your love for your children and your love for life. I appreciate your encouragement, your honesty and your ear that you have so often lended to me. Please know that I am here.. no matter how late it is, how long it has been, or how long you need to talk. I love you and I thank you for being there to catch me when I think I am about to fall apart. You is kind, You is smart and you is important.
