I am pretty sure I live with monkeys. Seriously. All these new gadgets for "child proofing" your home make me laugh. Now my children are awesome- they help clean up when asked, they use their manners, they pick up on things quickly, they are compassionate- and they make the largest messes you have ever seen in the blink of an eye.
It's currently 9:38 am. My house was clean when I woke up this morning, and now.. well lets just say the only company I would allow in here would have to be a seriously non-judgemental close friend. I just found marshmallow on the walls. Post chewing.
I see those stupid plastic things that are supposed to stop your rugrats from getting into the cabinets and I laugh. My kids figured those puppies out in less than the time it took me to figure out how to install them. We don't actually have a pantry, we have a wire shelf on wheels in our laundry room. This allows for food raiding at any moment, (hence the marshmallows) and my children have figured out that whatever they want is just beyond their little sticky fingers. . . so they push over a case of water, or a box of energy drinks (thank HEAVEN they have not figured out how to open cans yet) and they instantly have access to whatever little goodies they can find.
Yesterday in less time than I could say "please be careful with that" there was an entire bag of Cars shaped Pretzels on my living room floor. FOR REAL?
What on Earth do these kids think I am? For starters I have more laundry than a freaking Dry Cleaners to take care of. The dishes in my sink are piled high, and I am currently working hard to train my Doberman pup- more on her soon, promise.
I am half convinced I am going to be one of those people who 10 years after moving in still have boxes in the corner. I have 2 times the amount of space and I think my possessions just got larger. How did I fit this stuff in my townhouse? where did all these toys come from. . Good God I have a Birthday party here in a few weeks- some of this stuff has to go. I had a dream last night, no joke, that I rented a moving truck and filled it with things I did not need and sent it all to Goodwill. It put me in a great mood, until I woke up and discovered a pile of things in the middle of my bedroom floor that keeps getting bigger.
I am greatly looking forward to the day my children can clean their own rooms. . Or at least reach the sink.
I look at magazines and blogs of nice organized houses. the kind without a yogurt stain on the couch, and mismatched flip-flops. The ones where I could actually have time to bake like I want to. . and then I realize why my house does not look like that. Because as wonderfully messy as these kids are, they are MINE.. and they are REAL.. and they are having one heck of a childhood.
Eh, I will clean it up--- And in a few years I will hire a maid-- so I can bake.. and she can clean.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
That Time I forgot how I react to Benedryl
Funny Story.
Today was a very active day for us. We kicked the day off by waking up 5 minutes after I should have left the house. Rushing around to shower and get ready for a movie with the kids, I had to take Ellie to my mom's ~ can you imagine Ellie in a theatre? lets just say it would not work out well. ~ and pick up my sister, then run back to meet a friend who was dropping her son off at my house to attend the movie with us. $1 movies are a genius marketing idea.
I made it back on time, or at least I thought. I was leaving the house with 3 kids in tow and I was going to be EARLY.. GASP! <---Seriously this never happens, and of course I get a text from the friend I was meeting that the movie starts at 10 and not 10:30.. its !0:03. SWEET!
We only ended up missing the first 5 minutes or so of the movie and the kids honestly didn't notice. Glorious Innocence!
After the movie we went to run a few errands, swap kids and off to the park. Here's where the real fun begins. So I am not really allergic to bees per se. I have been stung a few times and although it hurts like an expletive word I don't actually go into shock or anything. Until we talk sweat bees. These babies make me swell up like a hot air balloon on steroids. Of course the park is FILLED with them. Trying to push 2 kids on the swings and carry on an adult conversation while squealing like a little girl sure makes for an interesting time. I managed to not get stung by any, however even though I borrowed some bug spray from a friend my legs turned into mosquito buffets. Needless to say they are attractive.
Ellie was dosing off at the park so when we got home I put her in her crib and swapped my sundress for some pajama pants and a tank top (ok, quit judging. I have 2 toddlers and 2 dogs and a husband and a cat, there's a lot of laundry to be done. JT peed on the couch and I had to pull it apart, and I only own 1 pair of shorts -dirty- and 1 pair of gym shorts-dirty- and we were without power yesterday so none of them got done.) and I stepped outside to start raking up some debris from the storm.
We sprinkled the yard with that stuff that prevents bugs from nesting in your yard and is supposed to repel them. While it does a good job in the areas that it actually got put down, I discovered today that we missed some pretty hefty chunks of yard. My ankles and shoulders, arms and neck went swiftly from smooth and tan (fake tanner and I just exfoliated--- the husband was actually home long enough for me to take a human shower the other day as opposed to my normal 3 minute one.. I wish I was joking on that..) to looking like I have the chicken pox. AWESOME!!!!!
So here I am standing in my bathroom scratching my whole body like I was covered in ants and magically the cabinet opens just enough for me to see a bottle of Benedryl. A heavenly idea crossed my mind. Benedryl is an anti-histamine. If I take some I will stop itching. . A (itching) + B (Benedryl)=C (comfort) Logical. Right? I thought so.-So I took 2. The itching stopped within 5-10 minutes and then....
I realized why I don't take benedryl except in emergencies.
I started dosing off. There is a warning label on the bottle that most people read and overlook that says Warning: May cause drowsiness. Usually the pills that say this have no effect on my sleep, or lack there of. But for me Benedryl is the equivalent of a bottle of Vodka. My speech starts to slur and I can't keep my eyes open.
Once I got stung by the above mentioned sweat bees while moving. I took some benedryl and kept going. I sat down on the couch to wait for my neighbor to come over and help me unload the bed of the truck. He called my phone 25 times (no exaggeration) and knocked on the door and rang the doorbell for an hour before Ian showed up to find me so knocked out on the couch that he almost took me to the E.R. I am normally an extremely light sleeper. I can hear a door open from the deepest of sleep, the kids coughing in the middle of the night will wake me and they are on the opposite side of the house and I have no baby monitors.
Granted I did not take as much as I had that time, but today I took enough to not be able to stay awake while JT was watching his show. He kept yelling at me and throwing things at me to get my attention. (ok so maybe he sees me trying to wake up Ian). Luckily Ellie was sleeping- or at least playing in her room- during the heavy part of this effect. When I did happen to open my eyes and hear her crying I pulled myself off the couch and literally climbed up the stairs to get her up and made her sit in my lap as I slid down the stairs on my butt. I used to do this with JT when I was pregnant with Ellie and couldn't walk from the separation of my hip from my pelvic bone. We call it "Bomp Bomp"
In order to reverse the sleepy side effect I shoved my face with as many carbs as possible in hopes of absorbing some of the benedryl that's in my system and being able to at least hear the kids if they get into anything. At this point I have 1 thing to say for myself..
Thank Heaven for Spell Check. You honestly don't want to read this blog if it did not exist But on that note I have to go, my children just dumped an entire brand new bag of pretzels on the floor..
Today was a very active day for us. We kicked the day off by waking up 5 minutes after I should have left the house. Rushing around to shower and get ready for a movie with the kids, I had to take Ellie to my mom's ~ can you imagine Ellie in a theatre? lets just say it would not work out well. ~ and pick up my sister, then run back to meet a friend who was dropping her son off at my house to attend the movie with us. $1 movies are a genius marketing idea.
I made it back on time, or at least I thought. I was leaving the house with 3 kids in tow and I was going to be EARLY.. GASP! <---Seriously this never happens, and of course I get a text from the friend I was meeting that the movie starts at 10 and not 10:30.. its !0:03. SWEET!
We only ended up missing the first 5 minutes or so of the movie and the kids honestly didn't notice. Glorious Innocence!
After the movie we went to run a few errands, swap kids and off to the park. Here's where the real fun begins. So I am not really allergic to bees per se. I have been stung a few times and although it hurts like an expletive word I don't actually go into shock or anything. Until we talk sweat bees. These babies make me swell up like a hot air balloon on steroids. Of course the park is FILLED with them. Trying to push 2 kids on the swings and carry on an adult conversation while squealing like a little girl sure makes for an interesting time. I managed to not get stung by any, however even though I borrowed some bug spray from a friend my legs turned into mosquito buffets. Needless to say they are attractive.
Ellie was dosing off at the park so when we got home I put her in her crib and swapped my sundress for some pajama pants and a tank top (ok, quit judging. I have 2 toddlers and 2 dogs and a husband and a cat, there's a lot of laundry to be done. JT peed on the couch and I had to pull it apart, and I only own 1 pair of shorts -dirty- and 1 pair of gym shorts-dirty- and we were without power yesterday so none of them got done.) and I stepped outside to start raking up some debris from the storm.
We sprinkled the yard with that stuff that prevents bugs from nesting in your yard and is supposed to repel them. While it does a good job in the areas that it actually got put down, I discovered today that we missed some pretty hefty chunks of yard. My ankles and shoulders, arms and neck went swiftly from smooth and tan (fake tanner and I just exfoliated--- the husband was actually home long enough for me to take a human shower the other day as opposed to my normal 3 minute one.. I wish I was joking on that..) to looking like I have the chicken pox. AWESOME!!!!!
So here I am standing in my bathroom scratching my whole body like I was covered in ants and magically the cabinet opens just enough for me to see a bottle of Benedryl. A heavenly idea crossed my mind. Benedryl is an anti-histamine. If I take some I will stop itching. . A (itching) + B (Benedryl)=C (comfort) Logical. Right? I thought so.-So I took 2. The itching stopped within 5-10 minutes and then....
I realized why I don't take benedryl except in emergencies.
I started dosing off. There is a warning label on the bottle that most people read and overlook that says Warning: May cause drowsiness. Usually the pills that say this have no effect on my sleep, or lack there of. But for me Benedryl is the equivalent of a bottle of Vodka. My speech starts to slur and I can't keep my eyes open.
Once I got stung by the above mentioned sweat bees while moving. I took some benedryl and kept going. I sat down on the couch to wait for my neighbor to come over and help me unload the bed of the truck. He called my phone 25 times (no exaggeration) and knocked on the door and rang the doorbell for an hour before Ian showed up to find me so knocked out on the couch that he almost took me to the E.R. I am normally an extremely light sleeper. I can hear a door open from the deepest of sleep, the kids coughing in the middle of the night will wake me and they are on the opposite side of the house and I have no baby monitors.
Granted I did not take as much as I had that time, but today I took enough to not be able to stay awake while JT was watching his show. He kept yelling at me and throwing things at me to get my attention. (ok so maybe he sees me trying to wake up Ian). Luckily Ellie was sleeping- or at least playing in her room- during the heavy part of this effect. When I did happen to open my eyes and hear her crying I pulled myself off the couch and literally climbed up the stairs to get her up and made her sit in my lap as I slid down the stairs on my butt. I used to do this with JT when I was pregnant with Ellie and couldn't walk from the separation of my hip from my pelvic bone. We call it "Bomp Bomp"
In order to reverse the sleepy side effect I shoved my face with as many carbs as possible in hopes of absorbing some of the benedryl that's in my system and being able to at least hear the kids if they get into anything. At this point I have 1 thing to say for myself..
Thank Heaven for Spell Check. You honestly don't want to read this blog if it did not exist But on that note I have to go, my children just dumped an entire brand new bag of pretzels on the floor..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)