I made the mistake about a month ago of taking a tired almost 2 year old into Toys R' Us. To be honest with you the trip started off well.. That is how they get you, ya know. They behave until they have you where they want you.. the back of the store surrounded by other people so you can't loose it.
He tried to convince me to leave his sister in the middle of an aisle, grabbed a few things (including the extra large extra bouncyball in the middle of the aisles and decided to throw it) and then we encountered the entire aisle of power wheels. If you have ever witnessed a toddler in front of a power wheel you know what I am about to say. If you have not yet experienced this let me paint a picture..
Try to picture a yound adult on their 21st birthday in a bar, but tell them they are not allowed to actually drink anything. or... a group of teenage girls in front of their favorite pop star.. close enough to touch, but with the HUGE body guards standing in their way.
Not imagine that those obstacles are removed (obstacle in my scenario being the stroller, as he knows how to get out of it straps and all) and TA-DA. Now imagine trying to pull him away from the power wheels.... DISASTER!
So there I was, trying to push a double stroller and convince a child who is just past his nap time to get out of the power wheels, and back into the stroller so we could go get him a toy. Yeah.. problem there for those of you who did not spot it... I was negotiating with a toddler.
This is like talking to a screaming brickwall, or talking to a deaf personwith your back turned. They might know that you are talking to them, but they have no IDEA what you are saying. and in this case, nor did he care!
That is where I found myself fed up. I grabbed him, kicking a screaming... and for those of you have not met my son.. he may be small, as in still wears the clothes he got for his 1st birthday, and I have seen children half his age at twice his size, but that boy has some muscle. He is also really great at contorting his body and making it impossible to hold on to. So as I attempt to push the double stroller 1 handed and hold him as close to me as possible
1. so that he does not fall
2. so that he does not kick anyone or anything.
and 3. so that I can get out of the store as quickly and efficiently as possible.
My phone starts ringing. And yes I am one of those people who has really obnoxious songs for ringtones.. my main one at this time is Selena Gomez's Who Says.. the na- na- na- na- na- part starts it. LOUDLY. But for the love of life, it rings not only once, but 3 times on my way out of the store. I have a bunch of people staring at me, obviously none offering to help, and as I pass each one of them they say the same thing.
Each one of them looked at their child and said " I remember those days. You used to pull that all the time" So WHY on earth are you just STARING AT ME????
I have learned that the best way to deal with this is to stand there and smile. Because every parent who is reading this knows their "perfect" child has done this at least once. . . and that is just for the ones in denial.
I did return at a later point and pick up a power wheel for him.... but he stayed home... and we will NOT I repeat NOT be making that trip together again anytime soon.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Ellie's first mess
I was sitting on the couch yesterday.. bored out of my mind since the cable was out.. talking on the phone to my mom, avoiding all of my daily household responsibilities. Granted this is no different from about half of my time at home.. I am attempting to work on that but as I stated to Ian earlier... Cleaning is BORING!
The kids are playing in the living room. Ellie jumping in her new super cute Jumperoo.. ( which I searched for for months because it had to match the high chair, bouncy seat, stroller, swing etc. that I already had in the same pattern.) and JT running around pretending to shoot her. This like I said is a normal average day in my house.. picture a pile of clothes on the couch, unfolded of course, dishes in the sink.. not that I dislike doing dishes.. my problem there is the putting away of the dishes. If I could get rid of any one chore that is what it would be... but that is a whole other blog. Toys spread from front door to back and the vacuum sitting in the middle of the floor... again.. I think I just have an issue putting things away. I dont mind the dusting vacuuming wiping down part nearly as much, and me... still in my workout clothes from hours before.
I look over at Ellie (background noise obviously not the tv but instead JT screaming BOOM BOOM BOOM) and she has the biggest grin on her face. I start talking to her and she keeps smiling.
Fast forward about 3 minutes .I look back over at Ellie and she is still smiling.
::Moving at thoughts speed now:: Wow she is one heck of a happy baby today. Guess her belly is not hurting anymore. Hopefully she stays happy because I am not in the mood to deal with a crank ass today. ::
It is then that I realize WHY Ellie is so stinkin' happy.. and I do mean stinkin'.
She had pooped. But we are not talking normal baby poop, we are talking the kind that runs. As in all the way down her leg, and in a huge nasty pile on my carpet, that she is now jumping in, still happy as can be.
I jump off the phone with my mom, and honestly just stare for a few seconds.. Of course the next logical thing to do would have been to start cleaning it up, remove her... something.. but that is when I lost it....With JT staring at me like I am a moron.
I could not stop laughing. Nor could I figure out exactly how to remove her from the jumperoo without making the situation worse. I finally was able to pull it together, figure I had to wash the seat anyways, pull her out lay her on a towel and remove the clothes.. not that easy of a task since she was trying to pull on them and take them from me.
I then hosed her off with some anti-bacterial soap in the bathroom sink, and went to scrubbing the floors. The stain is still there today, at least it does not smell... and the cable guy did not ask about it.
Guess it's time to steam clean again.. YIPEEE!
The kids are playing in the living room. Ellie jumping in her new super cute Jumperoo.. ( which I searched for for months because it had to match the high chair, bouncy seat, stroller, swing etc. that I already had in the same pattern.) and JT running around pretending to shoot her. This like I said is a normal average day in my house.. picture a pile of clothes on the couch, unfolded of course, dishes in the sink.. not that I dislike doing dishes.. my problem there is the putting away of the dishes. If I could get rid of any one chore that is what it would be... but that is a whole other blog. Toys spread from front door to back and the vacuum sitting in the middle of the floor... again.. I think I just have an issue putting things away. I dont mind the dusting vacuuming wiping down part nearly as much, and me... still in my workout clothes from hours before.
I look over at Ellie (background noise obviously not the tv but instead JT screaming BOOM BOOM BOOM) and she has the biggest grin on her face. I start talking to her and she keeps smiling.
Fast forward about 3 minutes .I look back over at Ellie and she is still smiling.
::Moving at thoughts speed now:: Wow she is one heck of a happy baby today. Guess her belly is not hurting anymore. Hopefully she stays happy because I am not in the mood to deal with a crank ass today. ::
It is then that I realize WHY Ellie is so stinkin' happy.. and I do mean stinkin'.
She had pooped. But we are not talking normal baby poop, we are talking the kind that runs. As in all the way down her leg, and in a huge nasty pile on my carpet, that she is now jumping in, still happy as can be.
I jump off the phone with my mom, and honestly just stare for a few seconds.. Of course the next logical thing to do would have been to start cleaning it up, remove her... something.. but that is when I lost it....With JT staring at me like I am a moron.
I could not stop laughing. Nor could I figure out exactly how to remove her from the jumperoo without making the situation worse. I finally was able to pull it together, figure I had to wash the seat anyways, pull her out lay her on a towel and remove the clothes.. not that easy of a task since she was trying to pull on them and take them from me.
I then hosed her off with some anti-bacterial soap in the bathroom sink, and went to scrubbing the floors. The stain is still there today, at least it does not smell... and the cable guy did not ask about it.
Guess it's time to steam clean again.. YIPEEE!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Days like this.
Now don't get me wrong.. there are days when as a parent you look up at the sky and think... WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING?! They say God will never give you anything that you can not handle... Some days it is hard to believe that. I don't care how wonderful of a parent you are, or that you have the patience of a goddess, you know darn well there have been a few days where you look at your child and think (or say under your breath) What planet are you from?!?! How am I THIS bad at parenting? or.. my personal favorite... What the heck is wrong with you?!?! why are you still crying? It is not the end of the world!
And then you have a day.. a vacation.. a breathe of fresh air. Your children are behaving. (where have my screaming kids gone?) Nap time was easy. Manners were used. the kids played well together. And at the end of the day you kick your feet up and think... HUH... maybe I am not so bad at this.
That is how they rope you in ya know?? They are all nice and sweet, give kisses and hugs and their precious little smiles. They sing and dance. They share their toys with you and are nice to other people.. they even behave in the store... Now to you non-parent readers... think for one second when the last time you went to a store and noticed the child that was NOT screaming. That just sat there and behaved. It's rare to remember those.. But I am sure everyone reading can remember the last time they went and heard the mother one aisle over who was yelling at her kids.
You know the one who is saying something like this " I swear if you do not get in the cart and stop touching everything I am calling your father" or "that's it. You are not getting a toy" "you wait until we get in the car mister."
But every once in a while and more often for some parents.. myself included because I may complain about the tough days but I am fully aware that I have wonderful children and am spoiled by them, there will be a day that reminds you why you were so excited about your little non moving, non squirming, non back talking baby to grow up and run around.
There is nothing like the smile on a child's face to make your heart skip a beat.
So for all of the moms (and dad's) reading this on a day where you are pretty sure you have created a bald spot by pulling your hair so much (or having it pulled so much) remember that just before you think you can not handle it anymore, there will be a glorious smile that crosses your child's face, a hand that stretches out with a toy to a friend or a sibling, a hug for no reason, or an I love you mommy that will make it all worth while.
Raise your wine glass, your ice cream bowl, your fat free weight watchers crap snack, or whatever else you indulge in after the kids have FINALLY gone to bed tonight up to the sky, think of the best thing that happened with your children that day and say out loud... Here is to days like this.
And if your spouse thinks your nuts, look them dead in the face and say... hey I talked to a 2 yr old all day, I can talk to the ceiling if I want to.
And then you have a day.. a vacation.. a breathe of fresh air. Your children are behaving. (where have my screaming kids gone?) Nap time was easy. Manners were used. the kids played well together. And at the end of the day you kick your feet up and think... HUH... maybe I am not so bad at this.
That is how they rope you in ya know?? They are all nice and sweet, give kisses and hugs and their precious little smiles. They sing and dance. They share their toys with you and are nice to other people.. they even behave in the store... Now to you non-parent readers... think for one second when the last time you went to a store and noticed the child that was NOT screaming. That just sat there and behaved. It's rare to remember those.. But I am sure everyone reading can remember the last time they went and heard the mother one aisle over who was yelling at her kids.
You know the one who is saying something like this " I swear if you do not get in the cart and stop touching everything I am calling your father" or "that's it. You are not getting a toy" "you wait until we get in the car mister."
But every once in a while and more often for some parents.. myself included because I may complain about the tough days but I am fully aware that I have wonderful children and am spoiled by them, there will be a day that reminds you why you were so excited about your little non moving, non squirming, non back talking baby to grow up and run around.
There is nothing like the smile on a child's face to make your heart skip a beat.
So for all of the moms (and dad's) reading this on a day where you are pretty sure you have created a bald spot by pulling your hair so much (or having it pulled so much) remember that just before you think you can not handle it anymore, there will be a glorious smile that crosses your child's face, a hand that stretches out with a toy to a friend or a sibling, a hug for no reason, or an I love you mommy that will make it all worth while.
Raise your wine glass, your ice cream bowl, your fat free weight watchers crap snack, or whatever else you indulge in after the kids have FINALLY gone to bed tonight up to the sky, think of the best thing that happened with your children that day and say out loud... Here is to days like this.
And if your spouse thinks your nuts, look them dead in the face and say... hey I talked to a 2 yr old all day, I can talk to the ceiling if I want to.
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