Friday, August 26, 2011

Breakdown on aisle 3

   I made the mistake about a month ago of taking a tired almost 2 year old into Toys R' Us. To be honest with you the trip started off well..  That is how they get you, ya know. They behave until they have you where they want you.. the back of the store surrounded by other people so you can't loose it.
  He tried to convince me to leave his sister in the middle of an aisle, grabbed a few things (including the extra large extra bouncyball in the middle of the aisles and decided to throw it) and then we encountered the entire aisle of power wheels.  If you have ever witnessed a toddler in front of a power wheel you know what I am about to say. If you have not yet experienced this let me paint a picture..
   Try to picture a yound adult on their 21st birthday in a bar, but tell them they are not allowed to actually drink anything. or... a group of teenage girls in front of their favorite pop star.. close enough to touch, but with the HUGE body guards standing in their way.
   Not imagine that those obstacles are removed (obstacle in my scenario being the stroller, as he knows how to get out of it straps and all) and TA-DA. Now imagine trying to pull him away from the power wheels.... DISASTER!
   So there I was, trying to push a double stroller and convince a child who is just past his nap time to get out of the power wheels, and back into the stroller so we could go get him a toy. Yeah..  problem there for those of you who did not spot it...  I was negotiating with a toddler.
   This is like talking to a screaming brickwall, or talking to a deaf personwith your back turned. They might know that you are talking to them, but they have no IDEA what you are saying. and in this case, nor did he care!
  That is where I found myself fed up. I grabbed him, kicking a screaming...  and for those of you have not met my son..  he may be small, as in still wears the clothes he got for his 1st birthday, and I have seen children half his age at twice his size, but that boy has some muscle. He is also really great at contorting his body and making it impossible to hold on to. So as I attempt to push the double stroller 1 handed and hold him as close to me as possible
       1. so that he does not fall
       2. so that he does not kick anyone or anything.
and 3. so that I can get out of the store as quickly and efficiently as possible.
   My phone starts ringing. And yes I am one of those people who has really obnoxious songs for ringtones.. my main one at this time is Selena Gomez's Who Says.. the na- na- na- na- na- part starts it. LOUDLY. But for the love of life, it rings not only once, but 3 times on my way out of the store. I have a bunch of people staring at me, obviously none offering to help, and as I pass each one of them they say the same thing.

    Each one of them looked at their child and said " I remember those days. You used to pull that all the time" So WHY  on earth are you just STARING AT ME????
    I have learned that the best way to deal with this is to stand there and smile. Because every parent who is reading this knows their "perfect" child has done this at least once. . . and that is just for the ones in denial.

  I did return at a later point and pick up a power wheel for him....  but he stayed home... and we will NOT I repeat NOT be making that trip together again anytime soon.

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