Please tell me that the title of this blog threw you for a loop.
My children have recently decided that anatomy is a favorite topic of conversation. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But it gets a little strange around here.
I have always believed that my children would know the correct terms for body parts and not treat them as if they are taboo. JT and Ellie are only toddlers but they understand that babies drink from Mommy's breasts, and its called nursing. They don't stare or ask questions, it does not confuse them, and I don't ask that anyone hide what they are doing. To me its beautiful and natural and they should respect it. They also know that boys have a penis and testicles and girls have vagina's.
For some reason this has become a justification for things.. Let me give you an example.
JT: I am going to see MY Daddy.
Ellie: No, MY Daddy
JT: NO ELLIE. MY Daddy. Daddy has a Pee Pee, you have a gyna.
this actually worked by the way. . she agreed that it made sense and let him go alone without further argument. I was shocked and confused because what on EARTH does this have to do with the price of eggs in China? I mean seriously. . He fathered both of you with the same body part.. I am not sure why he can only be one of yours..
Then there was yesterday. We are standing outside watching Ian chop up some of those roots from the tree stumps I just told you about and JT (who for some reason has an obsession with peeing outside) decides to walk between the van and Ian's work truck and start peeing. Ellie walks over to see what he is doing, partially because she is nosey and partially because she loves to irritate him, and he informs her of the following:
" I have a pee pee, so I can pee outside, you have a gyna so you have to sit on the potty."
To which her response was "OH, you have a pee pee" and begins to giggle. Oh dear.
They have also recently decided that it's cool to compliment people. Without really understanding how to do this, they just walk around telling people that they like random objects. As I step out of the shower a few weeks ago JT looks me in the face and says "Mommy, I like your boobs" ummm.. Thanks? He also likes my belly, my toes, my hair, phone, pants and teeth. As far as I am concerned I think the kid has crush on me. Or there is absolutely nothing he does not like.. except vegetables, and meat, and his sister taking his stuff.
Ellie just likes to copy him, or randomly rub my skin and stare at me with a creepy grin on her face. Once I had a nightmare about it.. In said nightmare she was like a Chucky doll.. Not cool when I woke up to her staring me in the face in real life. Sometimes I think Ian's dreams are better. He doesn't remember any of them, but they seem pretty cool... he gets to sing opera and laugh.. I get my children turning into killer dolls. There seems to be some injustice here. Not to mention he never gets the eebie jeebies in a dark room with the kids.
There are also some key phrases that get some extra attention and usage out of the mouths of JT and Ellie.. Here are a few..
" You kiddin' me Bub-bub?" (that is what Ellie calls JT during normal conversation. If she is mad at him his name is James Irbin Thom-as
" I am" - doesn't matter what you ask them to do, this is the response.. well either this or no.. pretty predictable around here
" Not nice" Ellie was throwing a fit the other day and threw herself back onto Reha's pig toy. She stood up gave the pig a dirty look, picked up and pointed her finger in its face and said "not nice! Do it again and you get a sfankin" and then threw the pig across the room. She seems to like to threaten to spank people or objects.. She even threatened to spank my friends little boy that is her age. He was a little grumpy and pushed her away while sitting in his moms lap..
"Giddie up Horsie"- another mutual favorite. Sometimes they try to ride the dogs, other times its their toys or each other or Ian.. I once caught Ellie trying to sit on a 3 inch tall plastic horse.. I really wish I had gotten a picture of that. It was awesome.
" I need boom"- in an attempt to procrastinate anything (including time outs and bed time) my children will request fist bumps.. followed by high fives and "pinky" which is just a made up tapping of pinkies in the sequence of hand gestures. Ellie uses her pointer finger, but either way they call it pinky.
I love my crazy children.. I personally think they are the coolest kids ever. We do a lot of laughing.. and mostly I feel like its at Ellie, because she is a nut. I just feel the need to warn you that if you are around my children they are going to ask you some personal questions.. or in the case of my neighbor, call you by the wrong name and shove their hand down your shirt.. Sorry about that "engine"
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