Single White Baby

  While talking to Porter tonight to make him smile I was thinking to myself.. ok and a little bit out loud too... how funny it would be if babies had personal ads. The things they could say would get most adults in trouble.. or at least be frowned upon.
  For instance:
  

               My name is Porter, I am 2 months old, but large for my age. I enjoy long walks in my stroller, drinking from boobies and being cuddled. A few of my faults are falling asleep with food in my mouth, and spitting up breastmilk on people other than my mommy. Nothing makes me feel better than a nice long bath followed by a good poop, in a fresh diapy. I like to smile and coo, but I am not a big talker. I prefer my surroundings to be on the cooler side. Not too hot, and not too cold or I will cry.
               I am looking to meet a cute baby girl who is not too needy, and enjoys the same things as I do. We can hang, but I am not looking to be too serious. It will be another 16 years before I get my license, and until then I think we should just keep things casual. If you would like to buy me gifts though I am down with that, as long as you don't expect anything in return. I will share my toys, but I take my food seriously. Please send pictures to be considered. Include DOB, weight, height and full name and I will have my people call your people.

   Admittedly I have a strange thought process some days. I am going to claim no fault here and simply point the finger to my dad... Who if by chance he reads this.... Love ya dad, thanks for the strange sense of humor and hairy toes. You're the best.